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Author: Subject: It's a good thing I've done gynaecology
BenB

posted on 16/3/10 at 05:56 PM Reply With Quote
It's a good thing I've done gynaecology

Bloody hell!
Just tried changing the front indicator on my Megane (started flashing fast to let me know the front bulb wasn't working). Now I love my Megane. Fast, smooth, shed loads of MPG, when you floor it to get away from the rozzers it leaves great big James Bond style smoke screen of smoke (okay maybe that bit's not too good... how much is a new turbo? actually only does it when cold so might just be a diesel being a diesel)

but how the hell do those cunning French fiends (who obviously have little hands) expect you to change the indicator bulbs? Which obviously you'll end up doing regularly due to the fact that it appears the French beheaded the sole remaining person in the country in 1812 who knew how to design an electrical circuit. Quel dommage!
The official Renault technician advice from another forum is "fitment is the exact opposite of removal but it is tricky and will have to bend your hand over and back and twist around and in and out". Now luckily I have an additional joint half way between my wrist and my elbow so it was fine, I just had to put the car on full lock, remove the entire inner wheel arch then stick my hand into the engine bay, bend my wrist 90 degrees (ditto mid fore-arm joint) and could just about get to it when I stretched.

What a pants design! Luckily the official Renault mechanic advice of "say a prayer you just have to tighten it not change the bulb" turned out to be correct and a quick twist had it working again.

I know the joke about the gynaecologist who wallpapered his hallway through the letter box and this was somewhat similar. What a faff. Let's hope I never have to do an engine swap, I can imagine the Haynes manual now

"open the glove comparment"

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dazzx10r

posted on 16/3/10 at 06:01 PM Reply With Quote
ahh well you see, them frenchies were thinkin that you would never have to change the bulb as the rest of the car will have fell apart before the bulb went!
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BenB

posted on 16/3/10 at 06:05 PM Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by dazzx10r
ahh well you see, them frenchies were thinkin that you would never have to change the bulb as the rest of the car will have fell apart before the bulb went!


Now that's thinking outside the box

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Bart69

posted on 16/3/10 at 06:21 PM Reply With Quote
The megane bulb is easy compared to the Modus its a bumper off and remove headlight to change any bulb
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ReMan

posted on 16/3/10 at 06:25 PM Reply With Quote
I'm not a gynaecologist, but i'd be happy to look into it



The old ones are the best

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graememk

posted on 16/3/10 at 06:33 PM Reply With Quote
i think you have to take the front bumper off my vectra to change a headlamp bulb, or call Jeremy Beadle to help.






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iank

posted on 16/3/10 at 06:41 PM Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by graememk
i think you have to take the front bumper off my vectra to change a headlamp bulb, or call Jeremy Beadle to help.


Gonna need a ouija board for that





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Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
Anonymous

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BenB

posted on 16/3/10 at 06:51 PM Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by graememk
i think you have to take the front bumper off my vectra to change a headlamp bulb


Do it yourself

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Surrey Dave

posted on 16/3/10 at 06:56 PM Reply With Quote
Xantia..............................

I've had a few Citroens, but changing the clutch cable along with the lovely little PLASTIC clip that attached it to the pedal somewhere up behind the speedo , brought tears of frustration to my eyes,

Anyone done one?

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iank

posted on 16/3/10 at 07:12 PM Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Surrey Dave
I've had a few Citroens, but changing the clutch cable along with the lovely little PLASTIC clip that attached it to the pedal somewhere up behind the speedo , brought tears of frustration to my eyes,

Anyone done one?


No, but I've had the 'pleasure' of replacing the brake master cylinder on a classic mini. Need the hands of a 10year old girl to do that job without turning the air blue.
You can tell if it's been done as any sane mechanic changes the split pin to a R-clip.





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Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
Anonymous

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liam.mccaffrey

posted on 16/3/10 at 07:41 PM Reply With Quote
the megane bulb is a famous one at our work, a few colleagues own meganes and we joke they have a team of small handed children on retainer to do it for them.

Apparently the main stealer have some kind of specialist tool





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adithorp

posted on 16/3/10 at 07:48 PM Reply With Quote
We just run them up on the lift and remove the wheel and then wheel arch liner. It's the quickest way. Always interesting to watch the owners face as we strip thier car to change a bulb.
If you do get the bulb holder out through the access hole you won't get it back... and yes there is at least one car that needs the bumper pulled forward to do a headlight bulb.





"A witty saying proves nothing" Voltaire

http://jpsc.org.uk/forum/

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A1

posted on 16/3/10 at 07:59 PM Reply With Quote
evo sidelights are the same, had to dismantle half the car to change one...
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rusty nuts

posted on 16/3/10 at 08:27 PM Reply With Quote
Citroen C5 headlight bulb is a bumper off job
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JoelP

posted on 16/3/10 at 09:41 PM Reply With Quote
ridiculous when you think about it. What were the designers high on?






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iank

posted on 16/3/10 at 09:58 PM Reply With Quote
If they could make emptying the door pockets of rubbish a dealer required job they would.





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Anonymous

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MikeR

posted on 16/3/10 at 10:10 PM Reply With Quote
they where making money for the dealerships ....

you get the car cheap, so they cut the dealer margin. Make it back by making changing a light bulb a stupid job most people won't attempt at home.

simples.

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Hellfire

posted on 16/3/10 at 10:15 PM Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by BenB
Bloody hell!
Just tried changing the front indicator on my Megane (started flashing fast to let me know the front bulb wasn't working). Now I love my Megane. Fast, smooth, shed loads of MPG, when you floor it to get away from the rozzers it leaves great big James Bond style smoke screen of smoke (okay maybe that bit's not too good... how much is a new turbo? actually only does it when cold so might just be a diesel being a diesel)



Having had to change the indicator bulbs on the wifes Megane, I share your pain. I had to jack the car up, remove the wheel and the arch liner and I still have the scars on my hands to show.

I think you'll find that the smoke from the exhaust, isn't actually smoke but a vapour trail. The turbo Meganes are renowned for it. I love driving it though, it's like a rocket powered roller-skate........

Phil






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Jasper

posted on 17/3/10 at 03:51 PM Reply With Quote
God, I really, really, really REALLY HATE French cars, I would never have one ever ever again, even if it was free, totally over designed and over complicated. Bulb changing, arghhhhh

Now by Beemer is a different story, changed a headlight bulb and indicator bulb the other day, 2 minutes flat and clean hands, and came from a nice pack of original spare bulbs in the boot.





If you're not living life on the edge you're taking up too much room.

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flak monkey

posted on 17/3/10 at 03:55 PM Reply With Quote
Front indicator bulb on a late Vectra is a major job too apparently.





Sera

http://www.motosera.com

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