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Author: Subject: Marie Curie/Life goes on
02GF74

posted on 3/5/18 at 09:12 AM Reply With Quote
Marie Curie/Life goes on

Don't really know why I am posting this.

I joined this forum in 2005 after the death of my mother after deciding I needed the distraction of getting a kit car on the road. During that time I've met a few people from the forum, only one of which posts now and then and have helped a couple via U2U and other ways. Similarly others have helped me for which I am grateful.

Late Tuesday my beautiful sister passed away.

She was 55.

Last year she had an ovarian cyst removed that after biopsy revealed there was cancer. IT WAS STAGE 1 AND CURABLE. Despite worries about side effects, she opted to have the optional chemo. Apart from some tiredness, blood tests revealed all was going well. Until the 5th out of 6 sessions she started feeling discomfort in her righthand side and leg.
Scans revealed that the leg bones were fine but there was cancer in her liver and pelvis and it was terminal.

Prognosis was 6 - 9 months but it turned out to be so aggressive that it was closer to 6 weeks.

I love her so much and was visiting her at the hospital and hospice every day and was beside her until the end.
I cannot describe how painful it was to see her slowly fading away, it would have been so much easier to walk away.
She never cried once but must have been terrified and protected me all the time.

I still cannot believe it has happened. I envisaged I would be the first to go, so selfish as it seems, it would be her having to go through what I am going through now. I'm in her house in Birmingham, see her clothes and other items lying around and the tears come flooding.

The staff at Marie Curie hospice, Solihul, were so unbelievably kind and considerate that I can't get it round my head that there can be such people who care so much for complete strangers. It is a modern build with all rooms facing the gardens, doctors and staff on call, so I know she was comfortable.

So the point of this post is two fold.

Next time you moan about some ebay buyer/seller ripping you off, having to spend 90 on a head gasket etc. remember what are the important things in life. This is just stuff and money, it is replaceable and if honest about it, is not really needed in the first place.

What is important are the people close to you who you love. Spend as much time with them as you can, cherish them because one day, sooner or later that will change.

Over the past couple of years, I lost my focus and now sorely regret not visiting her more.

Secondly, I know there are many charities/good causes that are in need of funding and there are often appeals on this forum.
I won't appeal for money but if you are looking for a worthwhile charity, then consider the Marie Curie for reasons above.
I hope none of you have to use their services but I will be making a substantial contribution so that they can continue their work.

I miss her terribly but life goes on.

Thank you for taking time to read this.





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slingshot2000

posted on 3/5/18 at 10:46 AM Reply With Quote
Very sorry to hear of your loss!

I cannot imagine loosing a younger sibling at 55, but I lost a 44 year old mate a couple of weeks ago to bowel cancer. I had already made a significant donation to Marie Curie, even though I usually support the British Heart Foundation.

I hope your post prompts people to look at the important things in their lives and be thankful every day when they wake up fit and well.

Take care

Jon

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sdh2903

posted on 3/5/18 at 11:06 AM Reply With Quote
So sorry to hear of your loss

I agree wholeheartedly with your sentiment of putting things into perspective. We've had a rough 12 months with losing one relative to dementia. 1 to cancer and nearly lost my mum to a heart attack a few weeks ago. It's certainly changed me as a person and altered my perspective on things and made me appreciate what family I have around me.

Well done for writing your post as it must have been incredibly difficult for you.

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nick205

posted on 3/5/18 at 11:19 AM Reply With Quote
Sorry to hear of your loss - not an easy process watching someone slip away!

By coincidence I'm currently losing my godfather to cancer and as you highlight it certainly makes you take stock of and be grateful for what you do have.

Also a good call for others to donate to very worthwhile causes!

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jacko

posted on 3/5/18 at 05:30 PM Reply With Quote
So very very sorry to read this my thoughts are with you and your family
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SJ

posted on 3/5/18 at 05:43 PM Reply With Quote
My sympathies. 55 is no age.

Stu

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Andybarbet

posted on 3/5/18 at 06:06 PM Reply With Quote
What a very sad situation for you to be going through & you are completely right in us all cherishing our time with close family/friends.

My kitcar build has been on going for a verylong time & will probably take equally as long to finish. I quite often get asked why it's taking so long but I rarely share the truth.

My wife has MS, it means she cannot work very much so we are a family surviving on my wage mainly. Kitcar parts are purchased here and there as money allows, birthdays etc too. I always said I didn't want to borrow money to build it too, so even now everything I have for it is mine & paid for.

I'm spending quality time with the family as much as I can around work & grabbing garage moments here/there.

It's amazing already just with a few peoples comments above that none of us really know sometimes what others are going through.

This must be an incredibly hard time for you but try to remember the good times you had with your sister, I'm sure she knew how loved she was.





Give a man a fish & it will feed him for a day, give him a fishing rod & you've saved a fish.

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motivforz

posted on 4/5/18 at 07:09 AM Reply With Quote
I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. Thank you for sharing your story and reminding us of what's important.

Hopefully it was not a life lost, but a life won, as Chris Evans put it. I hope you can enjoy the memories of good times.

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trextr7monkey

posted on 4/5/18 at 07:33 AM Reply With Quote
Sorry to read this, you are quite right in your analysis, on a similar tack I am retiring this year at 60 having lost my older sister several years ago to breast cancer as well as 2 university house mates. Worst thing about my sister was my parents could not understand why they keep creaking along and their daughter couldn't.
Hospices should get central funding, my neighbours are pedalling across France to raise money for our local one, just like thousands of other people across the country.
All the best
Mike





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fossett

posted on 4/5/18 at 08:04 AM Reply With Quote
Hear Hear Mate

I had bowel cancer (3 Surgeries and 2 Rounds of Chemotherapy - finished 2009) then Amiloblastoma (Had my Jawbone replaced with my Fibula leg bone May 2017)

It troubles me a lot to hear folk upset about really trivial stuff - Just get out there and relish every day and every experience.

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perksy

posted on 5/5/18 at 08:12 AM Reply With Quote
Very sorry to hear of your sad loss

Working in the NHS I see folks battling this terrible disease everyday and I am always humbled and amazed by how they always try to smile and battle on

I lost my dad a few years ago and from diagnosis to the end was less than 6 months

Trust me, the pain will get better over time and they will always be with you in spirit

You will always have your memories of good times spent together

I found the first Christmas without him the worst

Your absolutely right in what you say and We all moan about daft things, when in reality there are much more important things in life...

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