DIY Si
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 posted on 22/9/06 at 09:46 AM |
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Help/adivce/man down
Right, basically I'm getting married tomorrow, and being the well organised person I am, I've not really thought much about my speech yet!
Anyone got any hints/tips/advice? Other than run for hills!
“Let your plans be dark and as impenetratable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.”
Sun Tzu, The Art of War
My new blog: http://spritecave.blogspot.co.uk/
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Guinness
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| posted on 22/9/06 at 09:50 AM |
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LOL, classic!
Basically, and I could be wrong here but, it's the best mans job to be funny / cruel etc. Your speech should be functional!?
Ideally it should include some reference to the following:-
Thanks first to my beautiful wife, thanks to everyone for coming, esp those who've travelled etc etc. Thanks for parents help organising etc,
thanks to Aunt for making the cake, bridesmaids for entertaining your mates etc.
Have fun anyway!
I'm two years in now!
Cheers
Mike
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DIY Si
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| posted on 22/9/06 at 09:52 AM |
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That's pretty much what I was planning on doing. Real off a list of thank you's shout "Drink" in a Father Jack stylee and sit
down!
“Let your plans be dark and as impenetratable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.”
Sun Tzu, The Art of War
My new blog: http://spritecave.blogspot.co.uk/
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Humbug
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| posted on 22/9/06 at 09:54 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by DIY Si
That's pretty much what I was planning on doing. Real off a list of thank you's shout "Drink" in a Father Jack stylee and sit
down!
...probably best NOT to follow that with "Feck", "Arse" and "Girls"
Have good day
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Fozzie
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| posted on 22/9/06 at 10:12 AM |
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Congratulations Si!
I think Mike (Guinness) is pretty spot on there!  , and Humbugs advice of leaving out the rest of Father Jacks repetoire is again spot on!
Have a wonderful day....
ATB Fozzie 
'Racing is Life!...anything before or after is just waiting'....Steve McQueen
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DarrenW
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| posted on 22/9/06 at 10:17 AM |
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grooms speech is nowt to worry about. Just needs to be suitably mushy and arse licky.
There is a protocol for who thanks who. I think the groom is supposed to thank the bridesmaids and possibly his new outlaws. TBH its a modern world
these days so traditional protocol is just a guide. Its only the oldies that will notice if you miss someone off.
Does the groom have to propose a toast?
Possibly make a comment regarding all of the lovely gifts and money presents, and that the money will be put to good use setting up new home together
- ie TV and broadband in the garage and some new alloys
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DIY Si
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| posted on 22/9/06 at 10:20 AM |
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quote:
the money will be put to good use setting up new home together - ie TV and broadband in the garage and some new alloys
I tried to get some car related things/engine parts on the pressy list, but got told off!
“Let your plans be dark and as impenetratable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.”
Sun Tzu, The Art of War
My new blog: http://spritecave.blogspot.co.uk/
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iank
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| posted on 22/9/06 at 10:22 AM |
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How about kicking off with "FORNICATION….Sorry …FOR AN OCCASION such as this I would like to thank you all for coming...."
Depends on the wife/outlaw/inlaws current state of mind
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Guinness
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| posted on 22/9/06 at 10:31 AM |
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I, sorry we, got a fuel tank, set of refurbished calipers, new discs, pads, rear drum cylinders, drums, steering wheel and some china / glasses for
our wedding!
Although to be honest Yvonne does get a bit annoyed when I use the Denby Serving Dish to change the oil on the car!
Cheers
Mike
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smart51
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| posted on 22/9/06 at 10:34 AM |
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It's traditional to say how beautiful the bride's maids are (even if one is your sister). If you can think of a mushy story so much the
better. Be perpared for your face to ache after all the photos.
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mike smith1
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| posted on 22/9/06 at 10:36 AM |
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Best one i've heard is short and sweet,
Thankyou all for coming! Now lets get pi**ed!
Sure gets a reaction!
Mike
[Edited on 22/9/06 by mike smith1]
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StevieB
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| posted on 22/9/06 at 10:40 AM |
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Forstly, don't be nervous about anything about the whole day - if you proposed, it was your idea and you got yourself into this mess!
You start with something sentimental about your wife and say you love her (all the women go 'ahh' and the single ones start to cry because
they don't have anyone to say such things about them)
'My wife and I would like to thank...'
Everyone will smile because it's the first time you've been able to say that.
Thanks to Bridesmaids (and how beautiful they look - not too much though, because you're married now!),
Groomsmen (call them beautiful if you want!).
Parents (arrange some bunches of flowers for the mothers at this point - fills 2 mins).
Best Man - show some appreciation for his help through the day (might warm his heart and he'll tone his speech down a bit!)
That's it - ead easy!
I took about 25 mins for mine - everyone assumed I'd be nervous, but I actually enjoy public speaking!
Above all, enjoy the day and remember as much as possible - you only get married 3 or 4 times in a lifetime!
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DarrenW
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| posted on 22/9/06 at 10:44 AM |
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Stevie's set sounds spot on to me. About what i did. Some flowers for parents and bottle for th ebest man etc takes some time up.
Even if it is only 5 or 10 mins it will be a good one.
Best advice anyone ever gave me was to take your time, dont rush it, enjoy every moment. It is after all one of the last times you will ever get a
word in when your wife and mother-in-law are in the same room
I enjoyed my wedding a lot. Great day. Only downer was it goes by so quick as you have so many people to talk to.
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Lawnmower
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| posted on 22/9/06 at 10:44 AM |
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Good luck!
You'll not stop smiling all day! The photgraphers requests for smiles is academic!
My speech took about 2mins.
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fesycresy
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| posted on 22/9/06 at 10:50 AM |
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Can't remember my speech, I was high on pain killers and a token amount of vodka.
I wrote a quad off the day before 
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The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
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DaveFJ
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| posted on 22/9/06 at 10:56 AM |
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It's traditionally the Best Man's duty to toast the bridesmaids. Groom should thank his Best man and tell everyone how lucky he is to have
a beautiful wife etc...
I made a crap speech just saying thanks at my first wedding and looked a total cock on the video. So next time round I wrote a proper speech and put
some thought into it - end result was far better!
I researched the wedding date and found out that It was not only St George's day but also the day that Shakespeare was born AND died on.... gave
me loads of material for a speech - even quoted the bard!
Anyway - good luck and congratulations
Dave
"In Support of Help the Heroes" - Always
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Peteff
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| posted on 22/9/06 at 11:05 AM |
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I'd like to spank the bridesmaids, sorry, thank the bridesmaids
Thank the bride's parents for looking after her and not overfeeding her as well
yours, Pete
I went into the RSPCA office the other day. It was so small you could hardly swing a cat in there.
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r3nuf
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| posted on 22/9/06 at 11:05 AM |
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I started off with.....
"It took a long time to find someone so good looking, so intelligent, so fun loving......but eventually (insert wifes name) found me"
Seemed to go down well!! except with the new wife!
Cheers and good luck
Gary
Drive Fast....Brake Late....Take Chances
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StevieB
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| posted on 22/9/06 at 11:08 AM |
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I found the best way was to write bullet points rather than a full speech - then it sounds a lot more fluid and natural and not like a primary school
assembly reading. I forgot my notes in the end and just winged it anyway!
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Coose
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| posted on 22/9/06 at 11:11 AM |
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Pretend you have laryngitis?
Spin 'er off Well...
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StevieB
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| posted on 22/9/06 at 11:25 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Coose
Pretend you have laryngitis?
Lacks moral fibre!
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Hellfire
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| posted on 22/9/06 at 11:30 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by DaveFJ
I made a crap speech just saying thanks at my first wedding and looked a total cock on the video. So next time round I wrote a proper speech and put
some thought into it - end result was far better!
Is that sufficient grounds for a divorce these days.................
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DaveFJ
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| posted on 22/9/06 at 11:31 AM |
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I wish - took me over 8 years to get out of that mess!
Dave
"In Support of Help the Heroes" - Always
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BKLOCO
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| posted on 22/9/06 at 11:49 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Guinness
Have fun anyway!
I'm two years in now!
Cheers
Mike
I'm 2 years out and having much more fun.
Good luck anyway.
Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want!!! 
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Jasper
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| posted on 22/9/06 at 12:09 PM |
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Good luck mate - as others have said, just write a list of everybody you need to thank, then say some googy crap about how you and the wife met and
what a luck guy you are, blah blah blah - can't go wrong - just keep it short and don't try to be funny unless your naturally gifted in
that area - leave all that to the Best Man.....
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