pifular
|
| posted on 15/12/05 at 11:57 PM |
|
|
engineers
dont know if this has been on before or not, but i haven't seen it before and it made me laugh.
Understanding Engineers - Take One
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when
onesaid, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday,
minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike,
threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what
you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the
clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been
waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept
golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with
him."
He said, "Hello, George! what's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire
fighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer
For them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil
engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
features yet.
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said," If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful
princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into
a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned
it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back
into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for one week and do
anything you want.
Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
|
|
|
|
|
donut
|
| posted on 16/12/05 at 07:31 AM |
|
|
Superb!!
Andy
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/andywest1/
|
|
|
MikeP
|
| posted on 16/12/05 at 02:20 PM |
|
|
A couple of favorites from when I was in school:
A med student catches up with an engineering student who had just finished using the head in the medical building.
"In med class they teach us to wash our hands after using the toilet".
"Really? In engineering they didn't even bother to tell us not to pee on our hands!".
---
A professor presents a problem to a math student and an engineering student: "See the beautiful woman at the end of that long hall? After every
minute you can move half the remaining distance to her". The math student gives up and leaves after a few minutes.
The professor asks the engineering student "Don't you realize you'll never actually reach her?". "Sure, but soon
I'll be close enough for all practical purposes".
|
|
|
liam.mccaffrey
|
| posted on 17/12/05 at 08:00 PM |
|
|
someone who i know to be a shoddy engineer was described to me as
"he'll measure it with a micrometer, mark it with chalk and then cut it with an axe"
Build Blog
Build Photo Album
|
|
|
|
