Its a long story but here are the basics. Wifes sister left her husband last year as he was a total b*****d to her after their son was born. He is
still being a total b*****d to her and the family. He has taken her to court twice and keeps sending lawyers letters full of lies. He has never paid a
penny towards his son who is now 15 months old. I could go on and on!!!! What i am looking for is some ideas for revenge and from reading past posts
you can be a devious lot 
Any ideas would be appreciated (legal preferably) as we are going on holiday in a few days and i will print the replies so when we have had a few
drinks we can have a laugh I have his email address so any ideas how to use it in a naughty way so as not to get caught?
PS I also have his mobile number
Cheers Ronnie
[Edited on 27/6/07 by TGR-ECOSSE]
Advertise a cheap car in the local paper.
Divorce forces sale.
Hundreds of calls guaranteed
Get his address and send of for freebies / free catalog from every mail order sex shop you can find, once on the mailing list it very hard to get off
even beter if he has a current GF wife.
There are lots I know of but probably not legal
Rgerads Agriv8
fill a paper bag with dog poo, put it on his door step, and set fire too it, he opens door, stamps fire out, hmmm nice.
or
put a milk bottle on the door handle, the knock and run, he opens door bust glass everywhere.
or
weld his garage closed?
my girlfriend always said I had the metallity of a 5 year old
Put an ad in the local paper for an 'escort agency with exotic ladies' with his number. They got lots of calls........ so i am told
i do like the idea of getting a couple of mice from the pet shop preferably boy and girl mice. hey presto a nice place for the mice to live and
breed.
ps this has also happened to my sister. i have been tempted to take revenge but i know the slimey bar steward would go to the cops and i would be
fu**ed
When he goes away on a hot summers weekend, pop a tupperware box full of maggots thru the letterbox.
In 48 hours, there'll be thousands of flies in his house.
Scan the letter heading from you local hospital and send him a letter saying that due to someone he has had relations with contracting aids it is
recommended he has a test as soon as possible. That should sh*t him up a bit.
Steve.
does he drive and what car does he drive if possible borrow a car same make and colour then get a set of plates or just the rear plate made up and go around the town and go through every speed camera and red light camera you know of and can find. just fit the plate before going through the camera and then take it of right after that way your not driving around with it on all the time. let him try and explain that to mr plod.
Sorry for my english, but try: Man seeking another man for sex (his name and phone no.); in every toilet (for man) in every pub you go.
add his phone number to premium rate messaging services or get us lot to send unsolicted text messages saying a message of your choice
Ive got access to at least 6 sim cards and i'm sure that between us we could get a message across to him
or
as has already been mentioned add his email to LOADS of newsletters/unsolicted email message services. Services of the adult variety are usually the
best (so ive been told)
Account phising, if youve got any computor nerd buddies then try get his password for his email account then monitor for a bit to decided how to do
him over.
Had a prank done to me over the phone, one of those premium listen in while the other guy gets had sorta thing. A girl rang up pretending she was a
past romance, that she lied a bout her age and that I was now a dad. That was totally legal and ACTUALLY scared the crap out of me.
All depends on how far your willing to go and whats at risk etc
If you can find out his adress;
Burning dog sh1t in a bag,
Washing up liquid/bubble bath in ponds.
Moving everyone elses garden ornaments aroun him and leaving them in his garden,
Prank ordering lots of food to his house.
Lubricating doorsteps, slidey slidey.
Screwing doors shut.
Booby trapping elements such as opening their front door tips a can of paint on his car.
Ordering hookers to the door when you know his mrs will be there.
Employ pikeys to do worse things.
Brick up his front door?
Advertise in the paper "I will buy your empty toilet roll tubes" with his phone number.
Three letters C.S.A.
Then find some dodgy sites, the nastier the better, which allow email registration. (best to go through a proxy server if you can't afford to
get caught).
Go through the kwality Sunday newspapers and get him signed up for information on stanna stairlifts, every walking device, hearing aids, etc etc
etc.
If you really don't like him and have no morality at all, wait for the pikies to come to town give them £50 to kick his head in, with £50 bonus
if he spends more than a week in hospital.
Good revenge is to go round there with a balaclava on and beat the living crap out of him. Make sure you have a good alibi.
However, this is technically illegal.
Arrange for a test drive in a top notch motor like a merc in his name and at his address,when they turn up and says he knows nothing about it they
charge him for taking the car out.
Also collect as many mags etc. as you can and in the space of a couple of days send off as many applications for the shite that involves the phrase
"send no money now". All the crap generally arrives within a week or so, and he either has to pay for it or pay to send it back!
Get a single plate made up for his car but rearrange the letters or numbers ie: PCH to PHC then glue the plate to the front or rear of his car over
the existing plate, he shouldn't notice as we only register the letters not the order so much...but plod will notice when he drives past and the
plates don't match!!
Failing that wear a balaclava and give the f*cker a bloody good hiding...
Super glue in his car locks. Brilliant.
Burn his house down, slice him in two wit' bread knife, and dance about on his grave singing Hallelujah...!!!
How about joining every gay website you can find using HIS email address?
On the profile put something along the lines of the things you see writtern on the walls in public toilets ;O) Even better if you can include his
phone number on the profile too! lol
superglue in ALL his locks - that way when he leaves for work and can't get in his car, he'll be peed off and go back to the house he's
just walked out of and won't be able to get back in...
However I'd be tempted for the rather slightly illegal task, but far more enjoyable of the paying a visit in balaclava with whatever tools take
your fancy - personally I prefer my fists...
Steve
Get a pump action water pistol, fill with bleach and squirt his washing on the line. And squirt thro open windows etc.
block his exhaust pipe up.
Sugar in fuel tank.
post embarassing photos on the net and email the link to his work mates.
This one isn't so bad or difficult to do but place an advert in Max Power or similar mags for a crappy (or unpopular car) with an inflated price.
They'll get annoying calls from pi$$ed up chavs making prank calls at all hours. First hand experience on this one 
though my car was actually
quite normal n cheap. Buggers have no taste!
get some liquid nitrogen and freeze a can of shaving foam. the can will split.
While cold peel off the can - then pop it through and open car or house window!
Instant revenge can be satisfying, but patience IS a virtue. Play it legal AND play it straight. It has its rewards eventually.
I have some relations (unfortunately) who against better advice got married. He turned out to be a real ar$e wipe. He even made quite nasty
allegations against me in order to try and sully the waters and discredit her. He paid no maintenance and tried to keep the house although he was
earning circa £100pa. Whilst she had nothing and a child to keep as well as being expected to do all the travelling to transfer the child for his time
with her. Generally a smellier piece of dog poo you would never meet. On one occasion even his OWN legal team were heard to describe him as an
AR$EHOLE.
After about six years it looks like it is now over, she is expected to get a good maintenance setllement, the house will be sold and his share is
likely to be used to cover HER legal bill. He is also likely to get clobbered by the law for divulging information from the family law courts to
the news papers as well (these proceedings when relating to a minor are sealed and may NOT be disclosed to another party out side of the proceeedings.
My neice has even beaten the offending National Newspaper on this one without any legal assistance, ie single handed she won against their team of
baristers and lawyers. [dlaiy mial] )
Basically the hole that he is currently descending into is getting to be satisfyingly DEEP.
When I think it is deep enough I shall probably come across it accidentally and being a good person I shall have to back fill it to stop others
falling in it. Whatever rubish is in the bottom will just get burried.
Write an appropriate message in 3 foot high letters on his front lawn in Weedol - works a treat after a few weeks ....... so I'm told
Tear up s**t loads of newspaper and throw ut all over his car, house and garden when its raining and they will go all soggy and will be a pain to get
rid of. Also egg and flour
nuke him from orbit... its the only way to be sure.
Legal option - CSA, 15% of his earnings taken, job done.
Naughty option. Get a great big bucket (15L+) with a lid. For the next 2-3 months use it as a toilet, stiring every so often. When it's nice and
ripe and gooey take the bucket to the nice chaps house and either pour it into the air vents of his car or through his letter box.
get a bottle of acetylene and pipe it through his front door, when your confident his hall is full of gas, shove some wire wool through the letterbox,
and connect it to a car battery, via a good length of 2 core wire. Then stand well back.
Not actually tried this on such a scale, so if you do decide to give it a go, perhaps you could post the results.
the frozen shaving foam is definately the best one by far
1.if you have a pic make posters up saying child sex beast keep him away from your kids post it outside every school in town
2.get some big guys go into his local saying there looking for him as hes a sex beast and hes going to get off with it in court as not enouth proof as
your daughter is 15.if hes in the pub kick the poo out him there will be no witneses as hes a sex beast it works 100%.just shout sex beast as you
kick the crap out of him.
(not saying i have done it )
remember not to do it yoursef as the police will see from your hands you have gave someone a slap.
am i being thick?
What will happen to the shaving foam when it thaws out?
a white goo?
quote:
Originally posted by DorsetStrider
How about joining every gay website you can find using HIS email address?
! lol
I may or may not know someone who asked a bunch of travellers to tarmac his drive. Only it wasn't his drive.....if you see what I mean......
quote:
Originally posted by Mike Page
Good revenge is to go round there with a balaclava on and beat the living crap out of him. Make sure you have a good alibi.
However, this is technically illegal.
I like the shaving foam, very sneaky whilst being satisfyingly technical.
Basically, the frozen foam doesn't rapidly expand. As it warms up however, it will do so. And then go flipping everywhere and be a right sod to
get out. Just think how much it expands in your hand when using little bits. Then think how much is in a big budget supermarket bottle.
www.westlothiancruise.co.uk
join the forum slag them of leave his phone number presto annoying calls.
any freebies as said should annoy him, house phone number if you got that then double glazing kitchens etc. Bear in mind hes more likely to guess who
it is.
He will more likely change his phone number and email address after a whileso anything that can be sent to the house would go on for a while.
Expanding foam thru the letterbox.
[Edited on 27/6/2007 by dave1888]
You could always leave his name, address, mobile number and email address on our Guestbook... eventually the web-spiders will hunt it down.
Course - I won't see it, and leave it on!
Steve
A can of expanding polyurethane foam with the valve jammed open accidentally dropped under the front of his car?
What a lot of evil devious people you are I realy don't want to cross you lot!!!! Thanks very much for taking the time to respond it
makes very interesting reading. I showed my wifes sister some of your ideas and it made her smile,something she doesn't do much just now.
Please feel free to add more ideas.
Thanks again
Ronnie
ps. dave1888 how did you find out about West Lothian cruise?
Just wait until the arse has gone to work then fill its front door keyhole with superglue.
Don't do the back doors. That way if he is a lazy sod he'll end up just using the back door, never get the front one done, and occasionally
forget and try the front door (eventully breaking the key off in the lock).
Apparently a bicycle pump full of water injected into front wheels gives the impression that there is something wrong with the tyres. The vicitm them
gets them tested, of course they are not flat. Gets them balanced, which turns out to be an experience then eventually finds out they have to come off
and go back on again.
Assuming of course that some cluess tyre fitting company doesn't hit him for a new set of front tyres.
Wait until he goes away for a his summer hols. Pour a gallon of mixed blood and offal (easily obtained from an abatoir) through his letter box, making
sure it goes well up the hallway. Best done under cover of darkness. Leave for a few days and then go back and put the maggots in.
When he comes home it will be to a scene from Hellraiser. Trust me it would make Freddy Kruger puke !
PS put a little 'Vick' on your top lip when you do it.
[Edited on 1/7/07 by Confused but excited.]
quote:
Originally posted by billynomates
get a bottle of acetylene and pipe it through his front door, when your confident his hall is full of gas, shove some wire wool through the letterbox, and connect it to a car battery, via a good length of 2 core wire. Then stand well back.
Not actually tried this on such a scale, so if you do decide to give it a go, perhaps you could post the results.
http://applicationform.armyjobs.mod.uk/?Gender=&ProfileID=&Age=
Might hep straighten him out? This was done to a mate of mine at uni, and they came round to interview him at home Scared him no end! Just make
sure you're careful with the contact details!
Racing seat foam! If its got air it keeps on expanding till its massive! Mix some up, pour it through his letter box at night, when he comes down in
the morning he wont have a floor to walk on. Absolute bitch (well almost impossible) to get out of carpets too!
[Edited on 1/7/2007 by greggors84]