Just sat down last night to watch the box when the phone rang.
Some sub-continent , English sounding named guy who was ringing from a financial services company (PPI).
Using my usual technique of diverting them from their script I enquired about the company, where they were based (Worthing) and what the weather was
like.
Each time he reverted to the script I asked him a flanker.
This went on for a good five minutes before her uttered the immortal words.......
Before PPI, accident claims etc. I used to get numerous calls about investments, household protection, insurances etc.. But the best one was when I
was once asked by a lovely lady on the phone "How much do you earn, individually and combined with other household members?" Now I
don't mind giving out this information where necessary, such as the bank, mortgage etc., but there was no way I was handing that information out
over the phone. So I politely asked back "What size bra do you wear?" She told me that was a very personal question, and I responded
with "So is my income!" The line went dead very shortly after....
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity!
CC: Hello my name is Andrew (in a heavy Indian accent) I'm calling today about your computer...
Me: Ooohh Hello Andrew (in a very camp voice)
CC: I represent Windows and there is virus on your computer (same old scam)
Me: Andrew (camp voice) are you a 'Big' boy..
CC: Sorry?
Me: are you a Big Boy downstairs
CC: I'm calling about your computer
Me: are you wearing a thong?
line goes dead
Photo Archive
Building: A wish list bigger than my bank account.
posted on 31/8/13 at 09:24 AM
Guy from "Microsoft" phones telling me there is problem with my computer - I thank him and microsoft profusely as computer is very slow -
tell him to wait whilst it switches on, every five minutes pick up phone to thank him for waiting - after 15 minutes tell him that computer is on -
tells me to go to start menu - after long explanation and much apologies from me about how computer ignorant I am and many thanks for his help I find
start menu - then after about 10 minutes, again with apologies and thanks, with his guidance get to place where one must download his software to cure
problem when I tell him that I see a visitor at the front gate so must hang up but ask him to phone back in half an hours time.
Half hour later phone rings and I tell him to phone back in hour's time as visitor still here.
Hour later tell him wife switched off computer so must switch on again - go through whole process again, once again get near download stage when by
arrangement wife comes and loudly enough for him to hear tells me that (non existent) son says this is a scam and to hang up immediately, I ask him if
he heard wife and hang up.
