dave1888
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| posted on 13/4/05 at 09:54 PM |
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How would you resign
I am resigning from my job next week to go self employed but just can't decide how i should word the letter to the boss.
Should I go with A or B
A. Dear Ba' bag (Scrotum)
It is with much joy and happiness that i hereby tender my resignation in writing. I am fully aware that the timing of my departure is at the busiest
time for the company, But this all adds to my joy at seeing you struggle along.
or should i keep it simple
B. Dear Ba' bag
Im off.
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JoelP
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| posted on 13/4/05 at 10:02 PM |
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depends if they are in a position to shaft you at all!!! im being super polite until i get paid up, then i'll unleash a broadside at them about
incompetence!!!
trouble in my job, fitting for norwood interiors, is that the customer has been so badly lashed that they dont want to part with that snippet extra by
paying me, the abused fitter...
gotta be A though!
[Edited on 13/4/05 by JoelP]
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zilspeed
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| posted on 13/4/05 at 10:06 PM |
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I would go with a composite approach.
Keep him sweet, make sure the money is safely ensconced in you account - then write him a nice letter after the fact.
Dear Fannybaws etc..
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Avoneer
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| posted on 13/4/05 at 10:09 PM |
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Funny you mention this, I was gonna start a post on what to write in my notice once my confirmation lands for my new job.
I would go the nice and polite and apologetic route as it's not worth any future comebacks and you've nothing to gain by being nasty apart
from personal satisfaction.
What goes around comes around and if they have pissed you off, they'll get it back at some point.
Pat...
No trees were killed in the sending of this message.
However a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
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JoelP
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| posted on 13/4/05 at 10:13 PM |
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zilboys 'dear fannybaws' reminded me of the 'dear cretins' letter - i just googled it and was crying with laughter even though
ive read it before - seriously good for your health
trust me, google 'dear cretins' and read the first result - its classic!
Yours psycotically, Joel...
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Mark Allanson
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| posted on 13/4/05 at 10:13 PM |
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Don't burn any bridges if you don't have to. Your new main contact may be in the same masonic lodge as you present boss......
If you can keep you head, whilst all others around you are losing theirs, you are not fully aware of the situation
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viatron
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| posted on 13/4/05 at 10:47 PM |
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Might give you some Ideas!!
Actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers, USA, to his boss.
His boss apparently resigned very soon afterwards !
Dear Mr Baker,
As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few
very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors
have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel.
After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and
myself during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise
that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time. Asking me, a network
administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do
each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of
time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to
network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide
amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to
understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time. You will
never understand computers.
Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many
options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going
to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just
as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more
personality than you ever will.
You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for
fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may
have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have
responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their
talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of
managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats
and laughs at.
Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.
Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting
a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my
resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.
1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is
illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I
prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the
next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be
unable to do it on your own.
2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I
know every password you have used for the last five years. If you
decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favourites list", which I
conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files.
I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favourably
by the administration.
3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your
mothers b-day", you neglected to mention that you were going to
take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase
them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have
never seen such odd acts when you shuffle your ass with a ketchup
bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe
places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation.
(Try to use a spell check please, I hate having to correct your mistakes.)
Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation
on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all
of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the
public. Never fu** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know
what you do with all that free time!
Sincerely
Darryl Brewer
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tri
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| posted on 13/4/05 at 10:52 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by JoelP
zilboys 'dear fannybaws' reminded me of the 'dear cretins' letter - i just googled it and was crying with laughter even though
ive read it before - seriously good for your health
trust me, google 'dear cretins' and read the first result - its classic!
Yours psycotically, Joel...
lol that was so worth the unhappyness of him just for that laugh
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stephen_gusterson
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| posted on 13/4/05 at 11:03 PM |
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keep it simple and polite.
in a 30 year working career ive found my path cross with others ive worked with in the past.
i was made redundant end of last year, and got a much better job with people i had worked with 8 years before, but at a different company. i always
got on well with them, but you need as many options as poss in situations like that.
when i resigned 8 years ago, i kept it simple by just saying that i felt the company was fooked, and that there wasnt any point in asking me to stay,
i was off. that was about as agressive as i think i could make it with out going overboard.
you may also need a reference in the future.
atb
steve
[Edited on 13/4/05 by stephen_gusterson]
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DorsetStrider
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| posted on 13/4/05 at 11:13 PM |
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this is an actual copy of my resignation email from september.
Dear Emma,
It is with great satisfaction that I have to inform you I will not be returning to work after my holiday on monday. I would like to extend my thanks
to yourself and the rest of the team as working with you all has been a great pleasure.
To the upper management to I wish to express my thanks for the excellent training I have received here in how not to run a company. I'm sure
that their total disregard for staff relations will prove to be a shining example to me in the future.
Yours
James
well it made me smile at the time, and as has already been said it is illegal to refuse to provide a reference or to provide a bad
reference.......what can they do?
Who the f**K tightened this up!
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chunkielad
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| posted on 13/4/05 at 11:39 PM |
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They can refuse to give one - they don't HAVE to do it.
They can also be average in their praise.
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ChrisW
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| posted on 13/4/05 at 11:42 PM |
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A good friend of mine resigned from his job last year. He was working on a job in some London shop which was being refitted. He started by drilling
through the gas and water pipes just after the stop cocks, then parked the work van on a yellow line and left, refusing to tell the boss where it was.
I believe the van was eventually located a fortnight later in some London borough's car pound with £500 worth of fines to pay, and then of
course, someone had to turn the has & water on.
So, let that be a lesson to all managers! Don't wee your employees off!
Chris
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stephen_gusterson
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| posted on 14/4/05 at 12:08 AM |
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what may be illegal and what may be enforceable are two different things.
if they didnt give you a reference, would you have the time and money to put it thro court?
also, they could give the new employer a copy of your letter..... your own words may just condem you!
atb
steve
quote:
Originally posted by DorsetStrider
this is an actual copy of my resignation email from september.
Dear Emma,
It is with great satisfaction that I have to inform you I will not be returning to work after my holiday on monday. I would like to extend my thanks
to yourself and the rest of the team as working with you all has been a great pleasure.
To the upper management to I wish to express my thanks for the excellent training I have received here in how not to run a company. I'm sure
that their total disregard for staff relations will prove to be a shining example to me in the future.
Yours
James
well it made me smile at the time, and as has already been said it is illegal to refuse to provide a reference or to provide a bad
reference.......what can they do?
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David Jenkins
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| posted on 14/4/05 at 07:28 AM |
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It is also worth remembering that your new employer's HR department, if they're any good, may well ring your old company for 'a
quick chat' and to confirm that you have the experience you claim. This is especially true when the bosses know each other outside work!
If you don't believe me - it's happened to me... fortunately I left the old company on good terms...
Just write and say that you are giving notice as required by your contract and will leave on such-and-such a day. No more, and no less.
rgds (and enjoy your new job)
David
[Edited on 14/4/05 by David Jenkins]
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Snuggs
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| posted on 14/4/05 at 07:59 AM |
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Write your resignation on something large or perishable. eg old tractor tyre or a dead fish.
Then see if the can file it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.topcashback.co.uk/ref/snuggstcb
Spider pig, spider pig, does whatever a spider pig does.
I doubt therefore I may be.
Luposlipophobia : Fear of being chased by wolves around a freshly waxed kitchen floor, while wearing only socks on your feet.
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!
http://www.venganza.org
http://www.jesusandmo.net/
http://www.snuggs.co.uk
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locoboy
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| posted on 14/4/05 at 08:04 AM |
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I handed my notice in a week last Tuesday and was nice and polite about it even though if i had said waht was really on my mind i may not have been
so.
It pays not to burn ANY bridges where potential sources for locost building funds are concerned
My new line of work is nothing whatsoever to do with my current one, but there may be opeertunities in my new job to source some business via contacts
at my current place, so it pays to keep them onside and it may just make me look extrap proficient at me new place too
EDIT:
But then again with glaring typos like above im just going to look like a twat!
[Edited on 14/4/05 by locoboy]
[Edited on 18/4/05 by locoboy]
ATB
Locoboy
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MikeR
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| posted on 14/4/05 at 08:06 AM |
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or do what i did when i was p*ssed off with work one day for a joke....
got a post it note. Wrote in the top corner the date and then wrote,
Dear Steve, I resign.
followed by my signature.
Steve decided to have a laugh and take it to HR. No one will now admit that they didn't think it was a joke ...... cause i almost lost my job as
the wheels where put in motion  ) have to admit me and my boss where laughing our heads off !
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tks
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| posted on 14/4/05 at 09:18 AM |
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yeah i agree
i agree,
its better to leave in a good shape and take the dirty things with you,
if you want to should you can anyway do it when you want. but once you have donit you cant turn it back.
with other words keep as many roads open.
You never now and its gonna surprise you how small the world is.
If you want to do it nasty then you could also do it with your mouth..
at least there is then no evidence and its his word to yours...
TKS
The above comments are always meant to be from the above persons perspective.
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rthurbin
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| posted on 14/4/05 at 10:51 AM |
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http://www.i-resign.com
Whenever I need inspiration about resigning I have a look at http://www.i-resign.com
It has some very funny resignation letters and also gives you an excellent template for a serious one.
--
Regards,
Richard.
richard@thurbin.demon.co.uk
http://www.thurbin.demon.co.uk/blog
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Stuart Ainslie
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| posted on 14/4/05 at 11:25 AM |
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As the industry I have worked in for the last 18 years (Railway rolling stock) is very incestuous and everybody either knows you or your boss, I tend
to keep it very professional regardless of my real opinions.
You never know who your next boss may be...
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swood
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| posted on 14/4/05 at 11:43 AM |
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Resigning
Agree with most replies - don't burn bridges, as you get older you eventualy learn that no matter how clever you are - or think you are, at the
end of the day its not what you know but who who you know that s important.
When you're up to your ass in alligators you tend to forget the initial objective was to drain the swamp !.
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MikeP
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| posted on 14/4/05 at 01:36 PM |
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I look at it this way: if I hate the place, why would I want to complain or otherwise help them realize what idiots they are? Letting them continue
on without a clue something is wrong is way sweeter.
As for revenge, the best by far is doing better for yourself. Think about it, what gets your goat more - nasty words from someone you hate that you
toss in the bin, or seeing someone you dislike do well for themselves and much better than you?
Don't waste a second burning bridges, leave on good terms and use the energy to get on with your own life.
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MikeR
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| posted on 14/4/05 at 05:36 PM |
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or what about this .....
I left my current employer a number of years ago for lots of reasons. Didn't make a big song and dance, just quietly left....
three months later things hadn't worked out and they gave me my job back. Only intended staying short term and i'm still with them 6 years
later!
you never know when you might need someone!
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DEAN C.
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| posted on 14/4/05 at 08:07 PM |
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I think you should hedge your bets and keep it simple.
I resigned from my job april 2004 and went to work for another company for six months.This was because my manager and company had not given me the
backing and resources to keep a very busy workshop running.Even though I was really pissed off with the company(not the job) I left on good terms.They
did try to keep me but too little too late.
Not long after I left ,the manager left finding things falling apart around him .
After a couple of approaches from the same company I eventually agreed to go back and sort things out with the added advantage of a lot more money
than I had been paid before,four months later I have had another pay rise and I am running the depot.
I have now just about got things running to a decent standard with many more improvements to come,sometimes it pays to stand your ground but dont burn
your bridges.
Once I've finished a project why do I start another?
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zilspeed
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| posted on 14/4/05 at 08:34 PM |
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Well Said - quality post 
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