DarrenW
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| posted on 19/6/13 at 11:31 AM |
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Beijing Hotel Translation
A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious. She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels
depressed. Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English……….
Getting There:
Our representative will make you wait at the airport.. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing
water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He
always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.
The hotel:
This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in
the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are
not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with themself.
The Restaurant:
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with
you.
Your Room:
Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding
obscenity! You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.
Bed
Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of
her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.
Above all:
When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it."
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02GF74
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| posted on 19/6/13 at 08:31 PM |
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sorry but I don't believe that is genuine - what, perfect grammar and spelling but just incorrect words used for maximum amusement?
you've been had.
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whitestu
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| posted on 19/6/13 at 09:12 PM |
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quote:
sorry but I don't believe that is genuine - what, perfect grammar and spelling but just incorrect words used for maximum amusement? you've
been had.
Pity - I quite like the sound of it!
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iank
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| posted on 19/6/13 at 09:43 PM |
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It's certainly all over the web.
Having been to Beijing I've seen translations not a million miles from those on signs myself.
e.g.
 
Description
--
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
Anonymous
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snapper
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| posted on 20/6/13 at 05:48 AM |
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True or not that is priceless
I eat to survive
I drink to forget
I breath to pi55 my ex wife off (and now my ex partner)
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snapper
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| posted on 20/6/13 at 01:25 PM |
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I thought I would add instructions to guests from the Grand Hotel Pristina (Kosovo) where I stayed in 2004 in the post conflict reconstruction phase
shortly after the atrocities.
The relevant paragraphs say.....
They should not take food in their rooms, inflammable materials or explosives, dirty things or things with unpleasant smells.
In the end we request that our guests should be kind enough to inform Management on telephone number 999 if they have any complaints about their room
or the behaviour of serving staff.
I eat to survive
I drink to forget
I breath to pi55 my ex wife off (and now my ex partner)
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DarrenW
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| posted on 24/6/13 at 07:03 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by 02GF74
sorry but I don't believe that is genuine - what, perfect grammar and spelling but just incorrect words used for maximum amusement?
you've been had.
It was just a joke email I received. Defo not genuine, just amusing.
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