I don't need a bad accident story
to bail me out of being ugly! [Edited on 11/10/05 by _Aero_]
A schoolmate once told me he was riding his moped when a flatbed truck overtook him, one of the hooks that you tie ropes to caught him by the collar, hoicked him off, and dropped him on the road in front of his moped.......which promptly ran him over. He was an ugly b@st@rd so it may have been true
This guy jumped from the Empire State building with no parachute and lived... now that's a tall story! I don't need a bad accident story
to bail me out of being ugly!
[Edited on 11/10/05 by _Aero_]
i was there when he did it........
Hey Aero, your name anything to do with Jean Michelle Jarre?
During a very long stint on an exhibition stand, I was numbly staring at one of my cars which was on display and I was idly dreaming of getting out of
there and going for a pint, when an oaf appeared beside me and started a remarkable tale.
He thought I was admiring the car and proceeded to tell me he had driven that exact car during its testing and proceeded to rhyme off all the good and
bad aspects and how it performed etc.
I played the dumb fool (not difficult, I know), hanging on his every word until he described the gear change as being air shifted. I said I thought it
was an electronic shifter, but he arogantly pointed to the buttons and reasured me it was an air shifter and stated he loved the feel of it.
I couldn't bite my tongue any longer, so I took the master switch key out of my pocket and powered the thing up.
He realised he'd been caught out and sheepishly dissapeared into the small crowd that had gathered around to listen to him.
my mate once assured me that his C reg golf had a 'turbo on third gear'. I assured him it did not.
I was told you could build a car for £250 and i belived it !!!!!!
quote:
I was told you could build a car for £250 and i belived it !!!!!!
i was going to do the £250 one, i think the book should be re written inc inflation. . . . build your own car and tell the wife it cost £250 ?
A friend of a friend who is a bike mechanic seems to be a compusive liar.............. i have many many tall stories i have heard form him ....too
many for here but here are two of the most unbeleivable!
Whilst at a bike show, he ( on his Suzuki SV650) had it dyno'd (this is true as backed up by the guy he is telling the story in front of), he
then went on to say that it was dyno'd at 175 bhp at the rear wheel
(the guy with hi is now puling strange 'bullshit' faces!)
He then said that the guy who was runing the dyno was a Suzuki dealer and asked how come it was sooooo powerfull, the reply was that he had dome
extensive head work himself and made a custom exhaust.
Again more intese bullshit faces from our mutual friend!
The best bit though is that when he arrived home from the show, a couple of days later a wooden bike crate arrived at his house with a not attached
asking him to send his bike in it to the Suzuki factory in Japan for extensive testing and examination becasue the Suzuki engineers and race mechanics
would like to take a peek at it as it was more powerfull than their factory prepared race version!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All the time he was telling this story infront of a guy who was with him all the time at the show!
The second story was how he bought a Yamaha XJ1300 (true) and how after it was 'run in' it now did 65mph in 3rd at 5000 rpm as opposed to
ony managing 50 mph in 3rd at 5000 rpm before it was 'run in'!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Many many more too including one about how he has no circulation below the knee in one leg after a bike accident and needs an amputation and prothetic
leg - still playing sport 18 months on though on the same leg he was born with!
I have a friend who tells me that the MX5 is the best handling sportscar on the road...
I cant help but
i was told the robin hood 2b is a good car by a sales man.
when speaking to a kit car manufacture about why your car failed the sva.
"never heard of that one before"
regards
Andrew
Myself last night... when I said that I think my car will be finished for next summer!!
Once worked with a guy in the Army who reckoned that before he joined up he was a race engineer for Jaguar (he was only 22 and had been in the army 2
years!) He went on and told me that he had driven at 175mph on the M25 with a trailer with a race car on it!
Same guy in a pub in north yorkshire - talking to a local - local says "do you know Peterlee?" - colleague replies "Yeah - know him
well......"
quote:
Originally posted by DaveFJ
Myself last night... when I said that I think my car will be finished for next summer!!
about three or four years ago, i had a bit of a dabble in motorcross, a guy i used to ride with, decided he'd try the new kawasaki as his current yamaha wasn't up to scratch he reckoned. him and his brother then proceeded to take the whole injection system out to put it on carbs from an older bike.he attended a race meeting that following sunday, then told me as he got home he had these little japanese men on the phone asking him why his bike was so fast!!!! so i said how did you know they were little if they were on the phone!!! what a loser!!!!
I once heard that a kit manufacturer had managed to build a Seven style car that weighed in at less than 400kgs....
I heard someone say that a Caterham wasn't a kit car!
quote:
Originally posted by flak monkey
I have a friend who tells me that the MX5 is the best handling sportscar on the road...
quote:
I once heard that a kit manufacturer had managed to build a Seven style car that weighed in at less than 400kgs....
call me synical ( spelling ) quote:
Originally posted by marc n
quote:
I once heard that a kit manufacturer had managed to build a Seven style car that weighed in at less than 400kgs....
is there any connection to this and the current mk situation
[Edited on 12/10/05 by marc n]
quote:
Originally posted by Jon Ison
A schoolmate once told me he was riding his moped when a flatbed truck overtook him, one of the hooks that you tie ropes to caught him by the collar, hoicked him off, and dropped him on the road in front of his moped.......which promptly ran him over. He was an ugly b@st@rd so it may have been true
I once heard a guy a knew telling someone he had just had a new powerband installed on his moto-x bike.
chris,i heard it was on a caravan door step
My mate once told me he passed his driving test. He came roun mine and took me for a spin his his company car. I found it strange as he drove like
someone that had never had a lesson.
I later discovered he had been done for driving a car on a provisional with no one in the passenger seat. (This came from his mum). He go banned for
6 months. Shortly after this he got made "redundant" from where he worked. I later discovered they sacked him for pretending he had a
driving licence and driving a company car like this!!!
He now rides a motorbike. I reckon its because he darent have any driving lessons incase anyone finds out.
[Edited on 12/10/05 by Danozeman]
I was told by my girlfriend, now my wife, that once we were married the sex would still be wild. 
Welcome to my world
I was told by a Halfords employee that only the expensive alloy wheels had offsets, and the sub £400 a set ones had no offsets at all, and thats why they were so cheap
Love the story from halfords, sounds about right!
I used to work with a lad who was into his cars the same as me so we used to chat about them alot, me only being 15 and him being 19 he used to feed
me some tales about his cars, i was always dubious of them though. Then a few years later i saw him at a car show with his 'modded' punto he
had just bought. He was telling me how he had just spent thousands on TVs in his headrests, but wasnt allowed to fit them because he need a seperate
TV licence for them and couldnt afford it for all 4. I just played along with some 'oh right' and 'i see'.
Then a few years later i see him working as a porter at the hospital where my mum works. I started chatting to him about cars again as it was the only
thing we had in common, i asked him what he was driving these days as i had seen him in a 106 diesel. He said his new car had just gone into the
garage to be tuned, so he had a little run about, fair enough i thought. Then he started telling me how they were taking the standard 2.0l V6 (???)
out of his civic typeR and putting some 3l twin turbo or something in it. I just played along and didnt question him, mainly because he was harmless
really, just a compulsive bullsh!tter, could have been funny to embarras him though.
I then told him how i was building a kit car, then i think it grasped him that i knew what i was talking about so he didnt tell me any more tall
tales.
the one i love too and I'm sure you get it regularly........
story goes your telling someone your "looking out for xxxxx" to complete your build........
often the reply goes "why didnt you tell me last week? I just threw one of those out"
I was told by a guy he travelled from Edinburgh to Lochgoilhead in half an hour in his Porsche a distance of about 100 miles? and some very tight
twisty roads.
I was also told by my g/friend now wife that sex would be better after marriage
We had an appretice at work who reckoned his Pug 106 would do a standing 1/4 in 7 seconds....
And one of my mates apparently has a 3 litre V6 in a Nova....yeah right. (he wont show us under the bonnet)
quote:
Originally posted by marc n
quote:
I once heard that a kit manufacturer had managed to build a Seven style car that weighed in at less than 400kgs....
is there any connection to this and the current mk situation
[Edited on 12/10/05 by marc n]
quote:
Originally posted by Mark Allanson
I was told by a Halfords employee that only the expensive alloy wheels had offsets, and the sub £400 a set ones had no offsets at all, and thats why they were so cheap
the chassis tubes are filled with helium
We had a teacher at school whose nickname were Bullshit Len - his favourite tale was that during the war (which one was not clear), he came face to
face with two Germans, but only had one bullit left.
He threw his bayonet into the ground, fired his last shot at the blade, split the bullit and got them both!!
Another one, was a guy I thumbed a lift from (in a Mk1 Granda? 2.5 V6 with badly slipping clutch). Said it did 0-60 in 3.5 sec.
Needless to say I nodded politely - I least I was getting a free lift
ATB
Simon
Over the years (and i'm only 33) i have lost count of the amount of people who claim to have served in the SAS, they always seem to be carrying substantial beer bellies, all part of the training i guess!!!!!!!!!!!
Well when I was is the SAS you had to drink at least 14 pints a day, it was one of the rules, honest.
Remind me I have to stop making stuff up somebody.
A Chap that I know had his new company car delivered. A nice new BMW 316. He tried to convince me that it was a V6. Even when I opened the bonnet
& counted out the spark plugs 1, 2, 3, 4, no more. He still wouldn't have it, cos the dealer had told him it was a V6.
Reminds me of a friend who went to look at a petrol Peugeot 306 - couldn't see the plugs (new deep in head apparantly) - dealer said new petrol
engines didn't need them
Dealer since closed down!!
ATB
Simon
Someone I knew told me his car didn't need spark plugs as it had fuel injection. I couldn't explain to him that the fuel needs igniting so I left him to it, ignorance is bliss.