Confused but excited.
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| posted on 25/7/09 at 09:12 AM |
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A reflection of Britain:
A reflection of Britain:
1. Teaching Maths In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?
2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 80% of the price.
What is his profit?
3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80.
How much was his profit?
4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Maths In 2005
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the Preservation of our
woodlands. Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.
6. Teaching Maths In 2009
A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the felling
licence. He is also fined a £100 as his Chainsaw is 2.0in in breach of Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut
something. He has used the Chainsaw for over 20 years without incident, however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is
therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal.
His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he
is such an easy target. When he is released he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them
off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in jail the Gypsies cut down the
rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash.
They also have a leaving BBQ of squirrel and pheasant and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting. The forester on
release is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for
environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor. Your
assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20 profit by hard
work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state
for the rest of his life?
7. Teaching Maths In 2010
A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a
derivative of securitised debt related to sub- prime mortgages in Alabama and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million
pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses.
The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry however, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations
and he is forced to scrap it. Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. They undercut everyone on
price for haulage and send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English
and it is easier to deport them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the UK with different names and fresh
girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to
pay
£1,500 registration fees as a gang master.
The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonuses are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the
difference on expenses and allowances.
You do the maths.
[Edited on 25/7/09 by Confused but excited.]
Tell them about the bent treacle edges!
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donut
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| posted on 25/7/09 at 10:41 AM |
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At least it saves our forests!! 
Andy
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/andywest1/
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omega0684
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| posted on 25/7/09 at 10:58 AM |
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i think that proves how the government have got it so wrong and illustrates how far off the straight and narrow this country really is
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eccsmk
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| posted on 25/7/09 at 02:04 PM |
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absolutely brilliant
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Land Locked
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| posted on 26/7/09 at 05:08 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by omega0684
i think that proves how the government have got it so wrong and illustrates how far off the straight and narrow this country really is
Not just one country, but the whole world! That is even valid here in backwards 3rd world Sarf Efrika.
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t.j.
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| posted on 26/7/09 at 06:14 AM |
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Please feel free to correct my bad English, i'm still learning. Your Dutch is awfull! :-)
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Badger_McLetcher
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| posted on 26/7/09 at 11:00 PM |
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Hehe that's a goodun. Unfortunately accurate but still lol.
If disfunction is a function, then I must be some kind of genius.
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