kb58
|
| posted on 14/6/07 at 08:00 PM |
|
|
Shade tree mechanics, I need your stories!
I wasn't sure where to put this, so it's here.
I'm doing research for my next book, compiling stories of shade-tree mechanic disasters. I'm after true stories only, preferable about
yourself, though as long as it's in good nature, it can be about your buddies, too. No nasty or bad stories please, but ones that we can read
and laugh out loud.
Typical stories might include: draining oil onto the garage floor because you forgot to put the plug back in, strange noises from the car that, had
you paid attention, wouldn't have resulted in the wheels leaving company, spending hours debugging why the car won't start, only to find
that your buddy disconnected the ECU hours before, that sort of thing.
Either post the stories here, or send them to kiminicooper1@yahoo.com. I will, of course, include my own embarrassing stories. Be sure to include your
name so I can give you credit. My work is in searching far and wide for the best stories, which I expect will take several years. Posting stories here
should be considered permission for me to include them in the book, and I also reserve the right to make any necessary grammar corrections.
Thank you,
Kurt Bilinski
[Edited on 6/14/07 by kb58]
Mid-engine Locost - http://www.midlana.com
And the book - http://www.lulu.com/shop/kurt-bilinski/midlana/paperback/product-21330662.html
Kimini - a tube-frame, carbon shell, Honda Prelude VTEC mid-engine Mini: http://www.kimini.com
And its book -
http://www.lulu.com/shop/kurt-bilinski/kimini-how-to-design-and-build-a-mid-engine-sports-car-from-scratch/paperback/product-4858803.html
|
|
|
|
|
oadamo
|
| posted on 14/6/07 at 08:08 PM |
|
|
i spent 700 pound on a engine rebuild and i put the engine back in filled with oil toped up water. it had taken me all day to put the engine in sat in
the car started ok drove up the road gave it a caining everthing was ok. pulled back on my drive and the engine had started to knock i forgot to put
the oil filter on  oil everwhere all up the road on the drive.
it cost me a new set of big end bearing.
and a new drive pmsl. didnt get xxx for a hole month after that pmsl
adam
|
|
|
stevec
|
| posted on 14/6/07 at 08:19 PM |
|
|
I remember taking a driving school car for MOT a long time ago, we had to bring another car back with us.
So I drove and took a mate with me, this guy always wore massive wellington boots.
We approached a set of traffic lights and I pressed the brakes which were rock hard, at the same time there was a terrible scream, the harder I braked
the louder the scream became.
The idiot had his wellington under the duel control brake pedal, after changing our underwear, we laughed for a week.
Steve.
|
|
|
balidey
|
| posted on 14/6/07 at 08:22 PM |
|
|
This ones NOT me, but my father.
He had a knackered old citroen BX estate that needed a new rear wheel bearing because after 8 months he finally had enough of the rumbling. Into his
workshop, job took a couple of hours. Loaded all his tools back into the boot and reversed out. Trouble was the roller shutter door wasn't fully
up, the boot was open, the rear wiper got caught and two seconds later the rear window exploded. Took a couple more hours to clear all the glass away
and then a very expensive trip the following morning to have a new rear window put in. He never did get round to putting the rear wiper back in and he
sold the car (or may have scrapped it, can't remember) without the rear wiper.
Would have been cheaper to have paid a garage to have done the wheel bearings.
[Edited on 14/6/07 by balidey]
|
|
|
24vseven
|
| posted on 14/6/07 at 08:31 PM |
|
|
once while working as an aprentice for a dealership i had been given the task of repairing a small dent on the bonnet of a renault 19 (about the size
of a small coin)
i repaired the bonnet no problem went back to the boss pleased as punch he told me to take the car over to the bodyshop about 300 yards down the road
no worries i said jumped in set off a little quick half way ther bonnet flys up totaly wrecks the bonnet pushed the roof down and cracked the screen
why did it happen i forgot to take the roll of masking tape out i had been useing to stop the rubbing paper scratching the grill
oopss lol
oh yes then there was the time i snapped a driveshaft on a genuine swb audi quatro ( same as the group b rally car but the homogolatin version) that
cost £1500 just for the shaft
god knows how i kept my job let alone qualifed
|
|
|
sammy
|
| posted on 14/6/07 at 08:40 PM |
|
|
Years ago I had a Honda 250 Superdream with a puncture in the rear wheel. Took the tyre off myself using kitchen utensils as tyre levers (spoons
knives forks). After repairing the inner tube and much swearing later got everything back together.
20 miles down the road the back was flat so pulled in to a garage and left it with them. Went back after half an hour and the guy showed me the
problem; he found a kitchen knife inside the tyre.
Told him I'd just bought the bike but I think my blushing gave me away!
Build diaries...
|
|
|
Catpuss
|
| posted on 14/6/07 at 09:37 PM |
|
|
I was installing the alarm on my old GS500. During the install I didn't disconnect the battery. The live lead dropped and hit the new chrome
exhaust system. The result was that the spark took off some of the chrome.
I decided that the best temporary bodge would be to put a bit of araldite over the burn mark to at least stop corrosion getting in.
I mixed up a bit of araldite using a stick then went over to apply it. Realising that I hadn't brought the small stick over I did a quick look
on the garage floor to find a match stick or the like to put a small blob of araldite on with. I found a small black looking stick so blobed a bit on
then went to apply it to the exhaust.
At this point I noticed the stick move in my hand and realised that in fact the small black stick was a slug.
I suspect that slug is now shunned by his mates for trying to aspire to being a snail.
|
|
|
kb58
|
| posted on 14/6/07 at 09:38 PM |
|
|
These are awesome. I'll add one of mine:
My old Datsun wouldn't start. Living on a hill I decided to take the lazy way out and bump start it. Got in, rolling along to build up speed,
popped the clutch, and the dang thing still wouldn't start. Got all the way to the bottom of the hill and came to a stop, wondering what I was
going to do next.
I finally figured it out - I never turned the ignition on, and now I was at the bottom of a hill.
[Edited on 6/14/07 by kb58]
Mid-engine Locost - http://www.midlana.com
And the book - http://www.lulu.com/shop/kurt-bilinski/midlana/paperback/product-21330662.html
Kimini - a tube-frame, carbon shell, Honda Prelude VTEC mid-engine Mini: http://www.kimini.com
And its book -
http://www.lulu.com/shop/kurt-bilinski/kimini-how-to-design-and-build-a-mid-engine-sports-car-from-scratch/paperback/product-4858803.html
|
|
|
davie h
|
| posted on 14/6/07 at 10:00 PM |
|
|
i have loads of stories of my time as a mechanic but the best has to be from a few years back. the new shape transit was not long out and one of the
guys in the company i worked for decide that he didnt need to check the engine oil and eventualy blew the engine up.
i had the job of replacing the engine and all went to plan and seemed an easy enough job until i tried to star the engine.the thing spun over fine
but it wasnt getting fuel so i checked the level in the tank, the fule lines filter and even swaped the fuel filter housing as the were prone to
giving up. i even set up a remote tank to see if it was drawing fuel it was, but i spent the best part of a day trying to get it started but nothing
not even a puff of smoke.
i decided to leave the van as tomorrow was another day and all that but after getting out of my overallls and getting washed i decided to give it one
more try and sat in the drivers seat and turned the key but still it wouldnt start. thats when i noticed the speedo needle jump every time the engine
spun over i realised that i had routed the wiring harness wrong and had plugged the wire for the speedosnsor on to the cranksensor and the cranksensor
was producing a small voltage making the needle jump.it took two seconds to swap the plugs and the van started on the first turn of the key. i felt
like a right numpty but hey i'm only human and we all make mistakes
|
|
|
martyn_16v
|
| posted on 14/6/07 at 10:04 PM |
|
|
I was changing a head on one of my old Golf's, I'd taken it over to my mum's to do it in her driveway. I started out by whipping off
the sump plug to drain the oil into a bowl, and then carried on with getting everything else off. By the time I'd finished up at the end of the
day I'd forgotten all about the bowl, so it spent the night under the car.
The next day after finishing the job and putting it all back together I pulled the bowl back out to empty it into a container. So there I am standing
emptying a bowl of oil through a funnel when a pair of feet break the surface of the oil in the bowl. I dropped it and ran up the driveway screaming
like a girl  Mum popped her head out of the door to see what was going on, she'd heard the scream and seen me shoot past the window white as a
sheet.
Turns out a mouse had decided to go for a swim in the open bowl of oil overnight and had drowned in it. Serves him right for getting in my car and
eating the boot lining 
|
|
|
speedyxjs
|
| posted on 15/6/07 at 06:53 AM |
|
|
Sounds like a great book
You must keep us updated on your progress on here 
How long can i resist the temptation to drop a V8 in?
|
|
|
02GF74
|
| posted on 15/6/07 at 08:09 AM |
|
|
NTDWM
waxoiled
cat see 5 th post down
|
|
|
David Jenkins
|
| posted on 15/6/07 at 08:26 AM |
|
|
Mine was only minor - but very messy!
As a auto-mechanical numpty I was learning about car bits as I built my Locost. One job was to strip down the rear axle and refurbish it.
After a bit of struggling I managed to find out how to get the half-shafts out, basically by putting an old wheel on and bashing it with a rubber
hammer. This worked really well and I was pleased that the first one came out will only a little struggle.
Then I realised that it's really a good idea to drain the oil out before stripping an axle... I ended up with filthy, very smelly axle oil all
over my shoes, and in a big puddle on the floor. The shoes went in the bin, and you can still see the oil-stain on the garage floor!
|
|
|
DarrenW
|
| posted on 15/6/07 at 11:14 AM |
|
|
This happened at my mates garage. It was on a main road to Scotland so passing holidaymakers were the norm. This Fiesta had been family owned since
new way down south. Never left the village and only done about 6000 miles in 8 years. The younger ones decided to use it for a family holiday (very
sensible types so no stories of hell raisers and abuse here). They had probs done 250 miles when they had to stop at the garage.
Basically it wouldnt run right, just wouldnt rev and had no power. Just to repeat it was immaculate and very low miles. Even the engine was spotless.
They checked basics first - all was OK. Checked carb - no problems. Only fair diagnosis was head trouble. Head was whipped off, no fault found. It was
all very frustrating and 2 days had passed. Anyway whilst up on the ramps one of the mechanics noticed the back box was all out of shape like it had
been puffed up. Car still not running right - they cracked off the exhaust flange just before the box - large expel of gasses and it ran as sweet as a
nut! The car had done so few miles on choke the the back box had got blocked solid with soot. The extended drive must have dislodged loads of crap.
New £35 exhaust box and all was well.
[Edited on 15/6/07 by DarrenW]
|
|
|
DarrenW
|
| posted on 15/6/07 at 11:16 AM |
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by David Jenkins
Mine was only minor - but very messy!
As a auto-mechanical numpty I was learning about car bits as I built my Locost. One job was to strip down the rear axle and refurbish it.
After a bit of struggling I managed to find out how to get the half-shafts out, basically by putting an old wheel on and bashing it with a rubber
hammer. This worked really well and I was pleased that the first one came out will only a little struggle.
Then I realised that it's really a good idea to drain the oil out before stripping an axle... I ended up with filthy, very smelly axle oil all
over my shoes, and in a big puddle on the floor. The shoes went in the bin, and you can still see the oil-stain on the garage floor!
he he he - ive done that
|
|
|
DarrenW
|
| posted on 15/6/07 at 11:39 AM |
|
|
So very true Mark. I always say making a mistake once is part of the learning curve. Doing it a second time is beyond clumsy.
Some great stories here.
|
|
|
Marcus
|
| posted on 15/6/07 at 12:41 PM |
|
|
I was nearing the end of the Locost build and hadn't fitted the carb to the engine yet. the hole in the inlet manifold was plugged with a rag to
stop debris getting in. When I finally came to start the car, it fired first time but then died and wouldn't go again. There was a spark, fuel
was there, then I remembered the rag - bugger. It was nowhere to be seen!
Took the head off and found the rag wrapped round 2 valves in 2 seperate ports and bits in the exhaust manifold!
I was very lucky that no valves were bent and the engine survived!
Marcus
Because kits are for girls!!
|
|
|
Peteff
|
| posted on 15/6/07 at 12:57 PM |
|
|
I was gas welding a sill on a Granada for a mate and he was sat inside "fire watching". I'd given him a squirt bottle and a wet rag
to damp down. Fifteen minutes later I smell burning so I ask if he's alright and got a grunt in return so I carried on. I could still smell it
so I asked again and got another grunt so I carried on again. Nearly finished I thought I'd come out for a breather and he's sat in the
passenger seat with black smoke all round him and his feet stuck to the floor with the melted anti vibration pad fast asleep, so I asked him if
he's still ok and he grunted again without even opening his eyes. So I took the spray bottle off him and woke him up with it.
yours, Pete
I went into the RSPCA office the other day. It was so small you could hardly swing a cat in there.
|
|
|
kb58
|
| posted on 15/6/07 at 01:39 PM |
|
|
Here's one that happened to an ex-coworker.
He'd borrowed a motorhome from a buddy for the weekend. Returning it on Sunday, he wanted to dump the holding tank (full of crap, literally). So
he manuevers the RV into place, with the outlet directly over the drain. Knowing this could be kinda discusting, he puts on overalls, the one-piece
type with the zipper up the front (wondering where this is going?)
So he opens the hatch to the drain valve, looking around to figure what to turn. He sees a valve that looks like the right one, one that he has to
reach in to get to. Unfortunately he hadn't quite zipped up the overalls all the way. It all came together in a slow-motion train wreck. He, on
his knees leaning in to open the valve, his overalls slightly open, and the drain pointing, yes, directly into his open overalls.
He opens the valve and <whoosh> the stuff starts shooting out of the drain - directly into his overalls. He completely goes nuts and tries to
back away and/or stand up, but his overalls catch on the outlet flange. So there he was, filling up like a balloon. By the time he stands up, his
pantlegs are puffed way out (because he sensibly had tucked his pantlegs into his boots - just in case. It was quite the site, and all true.
Mid-engine Locost - http://www.midlana.com
And the book - http://www.lulu.com/shop/kurt-bilinski/midlana/paperback/product-21330662.html
Kimini - a tube-frame, carbon shell, Honda Prelude VTEC mid-engine Mini: http://www.kimini.com
And its book -
http://www.lulu.com/shop/kurt-bilinski/kimini-how-to-design-and-build-a-mid-engine-sports-car-from-scratch/paperback/product-4858803.html
|
|
|
chockymonster
|
| posted on 15/6/07 at 01:58 PM |
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by kb58
Here's one that happened to an ex-coworker.
He'd borrowed a motorhome from a buddy for the weekend. Returning it on Sunday, he wanted to dump the holding tank (full of crap, literally). So
he manuevers the RV into place, with the outlet directly over the drain. Knowing this could be kinda discusting, he puts on overalls, the one-piece
type with the zipper up the front (wondering where this is going?)
So he opens the hatch to the drain valve, looking around to figure what to turn. He sees a valve that looks like the right one, one that he has to
reach in to get to. Unfortunately he hadn't quite zipped up the overalls all the way. It all came together in a slow-motion train wreck. He, on
his knees leaning in to open the valve, his overalls slightly open, and the drain pointing, yes, directly into his open overalls.
He opens the valve and <whoosh> the stuff starts shooting out of the drain - directly into his overalls. He completely goes nuts and tries to
back away and/or stand up, but his overalls catch on the outlet flange. So there he was, filling up like a balloon. By the time he stands up, his
pantlegs are puffed way out (because he sensibly had tucked his pantlegs into his boots - just in case. It was quite the site, and all true.
FPMSL!!!!!
Reminds me of a group of guys on a sailing trip that we met on the hamble.
They'd gone out for a curry and pissup and during the middle of the night needed to use the boat heads. All was fine until the morning when
someone tried to use them again and the pump lever went solid and wouldn't move.
The toilet in question is vacuum operated so they took the face plate off the toilet to expose the diaphragm, the "expert" then picked up
a screwdriver and for some unknown reason decided to prod the diaphragm.
A brief pop later and the entire cabin of the boat was pebbledashed apart from a perfect silhouette of the expert!
PLEASE NOTE - Responses on Forum Threads may contain Sarcasm and may not be suitable for the hard of Thinking.
|
|
|
MikeRJ
|
| posted on 15/6/07 at 03:17 PM |
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by DarrenW The car had done so few miles on choke the the back box had got blocked solid with soot. The extended drive
must have dislodged loads of crap. New £35 exhaust box and all was well.
Had the exact same problem on a Mk2 Fiesta that had been layed up in a garage for a couple of years. It would start and run for a few seconds and
then cut out with fuel being spat back out of the carb. Took quite a while to figure out it was the exhaust as it looked virtualy new from the
outside.
Must be a common problem with them though, as the wife had a 1.1 Mk3 Fiesta when I met her, and it was the most gutless thing I had ever driven (The
Mk2 would run rings around it). Replaced the exhaust prior to MOT as it was starting to get a a bit tatty and it must have literaly doubled the power
(to 20bhp ).
|
|
|
Browser
|
| posted on 16/6/07 at 08:04 AM |
|
|
Three for you that I can remember off the top of my head.
- Swapping the wheels, front to rear, to equalise the wear on tyres, on my 1980 Talbot Solara SX (it was cheap, OK!), mum calls me and mates in for
lunch. Driving the car around the next week, rumbling/knocking from wheels gets worse and worse. Finally have to call out a rescue truck and the
driver notices the missign wheel bolts from when we'd got all of the nuts in by hand, gone for lunch and forgotten to tighten them again!
- Refilling the engine of one car after an oil change, wondering why nothign's showing on the dipstick then checking the drain pan and finding
it nearly overflowing due to the non-re-insertion of the sump drain plug.
- Struggling all night to get a recalcitrant Fiat Strada Super 85 to fire up (very weak spark from the points). After several hours father comes
home, looks for 10 seconds and says "Your LT leads damn near frayed through, look!" and indeed it was. 5 minutes with wire stripper and
crimp and hey presto, up she fires!
|
|
|
car builder
|
| posted on 16/6/07 at 07:02 PM |
|
|
when i was working at a audi dealership one of the lads stripped a 2.5tdi to replace the cambelt, this is about a 3+ hour job, he put it all back
togeather only to realise he had put the old belt back on.
the first TT we had in for a service i forgot to put the oil filter on? nice big pool of oil on the floor?
i had a TT in for a vibration when driving so being the fully trained professional iam i took it for a spin before looking underneath. 80mph and yes
there was a vibration so put it on the ramp and found the track rod end close to falling off? very close call, could have been very nasty.
iam sure there are more as i was there for 8 years, will have a think
|
|
|
Alan B
|
| posted on 16/6/07 at 10:24 PM |
|
|
Surprised the old Reliant (or other 3 wheeler) and car pit/ramps scenario hasn't come yet....
|
|
|
Wadders
|
| posted on 17/6/07 at 06:32 AM |
|
|
My daft mate was doing routine maintenance on his bike, (big jap 4) and manged to drop a small bolt into the oily reccesses of the crankcase.
So he has a brainwave and decides to fish for it with a magnet tied to a bit of string. 
You can guess the outcome
Al.
|
|
|
