A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday.'

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, 'Sure. I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.'

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. 'I mean, what in the world is this?'

(you're gonna love this)

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone.'


(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........)

Groan. LMAO anyway.
Cheers mate, you have no idea how much I needed to smile right now.
Cheered me up, even if only for a while.

ohh gawd thats dire

quote:

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Originally posted by Mr Whippy
ohh gawd thats dire

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There's 30 seconds of my life I'll never get back...



Pete

almost as old as the octopus with the mouthstache.

The French composer Emile Pardon was walking along one day when suddenly he was attacked by his neighbour's cat which clawed half his face to ribbons.

As Doctor Miller was stitching him up, M Pardon was explaining that the attack was very strange as he had always found the cat to be very friendly. Suddenly Pardon froze and the doctor turned round to see a cat with bloody paws staring in at the window. Turning to his oatient, he said ------


"Pardon m' boy, is that the cat you knew that chewed you ? "

I'll get my coat shall I ?

quote:

---

Originally posted by Macbeast
The French composer Emile Pardon was walking along one day when suddenly he was attacked by his neighbour's cat which clawed half his face to ribbons.

As Doctor Miller was stitching him up, M Pardon was explaining that the attack was very strange as he had always found the cat to be very friendly. Suddenly Pardon froze and the doctor turned round to see a cat with bloody paws staring in at the window. Turning to his oatient, he said ------


"Pardon m' boy, is that the cat you knew that chewed you ? "

I'll get my coat shall I ?

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Not QUITE as bad as mine, but a very close second methinks