--- Christmas Cake
Ingredients:
* 2 cups flour
* 1 stick butter
* 1 cup of water
* 1 tsp baking soda
* 1 cup of sugar
* 1 tsp salt
* 1 cup of brown sugar
* Lemon juice
* 4 large eggs
* Nuts
* 1 bottle tequila
* 2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the
tequila
again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and
drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in
a large
fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point
it's best
to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup... Just in
case. Turn
off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in
the
cup of dried fruit.
Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried
druit
gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the
tequila to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or
something. Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon juice and strain
your
nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you
can
find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to
fall
over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl
through
the window. Finish the tequila and wipe counter with the cat.
Bingle Jells!