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Hamsters can be very versatile nsfw or anywhere else
mangogrooveworkshop - 7/9/09 at 03:24 PM

http://www.break.com/usercontent/2007/4/News-Coverage-Of-Two-Gay-Men-And-Thier-Hamster-Tro-279619.html


Hamsters can be very versatile

Two guys from LA have now found quite another use for their hamster: (a true story from the LA Times)

"When I look back, the biggest mistake was to light the match. But I just wanted to get back my hamster," Eric Tomszewski explained to the amused doctors of the Salt Lake City Hospital, department for seriuos burns. Tomaszewski and his gay partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnom wre delivered here for first aid after a very special intimate session, during which some things went very wrong.
"I did shove a paper tube up his ass, and then I let Raggot, our hamster, crawl into that tube", he explained. "As usual, Kiki screamed 'Armageddon', which was the sign that he had enough. I tried to get back Raggot, but he didn't want to come back out, so I did light a match and peered into the tube, because I thought the light would attract him."
During a press conference which was quickly called together, a representant of the hospital described what happened next. "The match set a gas bubble in the inside of the tube aflame which made a flame shot out from the tube, burning Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and face. Also, the fur and the whiskers of the hamster catched fire and caused in turn the incension of another, much bigger gas bubble further down the tube. This again did shoot the hamster from the tube like a cannon ball."
Tomaszewski did suffer 2nd degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the hamster, while Farnom suffered first and second degree burns on his anus and at the end of his intestines.

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The most disturbing facts from this story:

"I did shove a paper tube up his ass." Good start.

"As usual, Kiki screamed 'Armageddon'. " - Sounds like they do this frequently

"...do I did light a match and peered into the tube." - Oh please, that would be like using a telescope to look right into hell! I'd rather look straight into the sun using binoculars.

The poor hamster (which quite apparently had a very low self esteem) is fired from that guy's ass like Rocky the flying squirrel!

To get a broken nose from a hamster that is fired from someone else's ass. I can only guess, but I'd say that the hamster wasn't quite new anymore after that trip to Kikki's "Tunnel of Love"

Guys that have huge vulcan-like gas bubbles in them.

"First and second degree burns on his anus." Doesn't that make the itching and the other inconveniences of hemorrhoids feel like a welcome relaxation? How can you still visit the porcellaine god with such burns? Also, the smell of "burned anus" is certainly one of the 5 most terrible smells on the earth

Guys who call themselves "Kiki", which is apparently polynesian slang for "braindead morons who stuff rodents up their ass."

Hospitals who especially hold a press conference for such a thing

Guys who do this and then even *admit* that they did it! Sorry, but I'd rather come up with a fairy tale of some wandering pyromanic analsex horde of pygmees which broke into my house and then anally raped me with a piece of red-hot charcoal before I'd confess the truth. Call me anything you want, but I really can't imagine telling the doctor, "You know, we have this hamster called Raggot, and then we took a paper tube ..." Much less still I could imagine even doing *anything* that goes even remotely into the direction of what these guys did!

Read more: http://www.driverheaven.net/off-topic-forum/13250-hamsters-can-very-versatile.html#ixzz0QR0AMaRy

[Edited on 7-9-09 by mangogrooveworkshop]

[Edited on 9-9-09 by mangogrooveworkshop]


mookaloid - 7/9/09 at 03:28 PM

OMG


iank - 7/9/09 at 03:29 PM

Snopes says...... false.
It was a gerbil originally though

http://www.snopes.com/risque/homosex/gerbil.asp


Davey D - 7/9/09 at 03:33 PM

Haha.. how can anybody seriously beleive a story like that is true


BenB - 7/9/09 at 03:39 PM

That is so not true. Bowel gas is slightly flammable but not enough to cause a problem in terms of turning a hamster into a cannon ball. Also the Hamster would be unlikely to go far up the tube... etc etc.

Also, when it say "a true story from the LA times" you know it's false because no-one would say a story was true unless it wasn't


CRAIGR - 7/9/09 at 03:43 PM

Don't read listen rofl



http://www.transbuddha.com/mediaHolder.php?id=372

[Edited on 7/9/09 by CRAIGR]


mangogrooveworkshop - 9/9/09 at 12:33 AM

quote:
Originally posted by CRAIGR
Don't read listen rofl



http://www.transbuddha.com/mediaHolder.php?id=372

[Edited on 7/9/09 by CRAIGR]


Turn up the speakers and listen to the reporter trying to report on it