Duct Tape

Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) – Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania,
after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large
motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers
“duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters,” according to police officials.
“Something just went wrong,” said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. “Something just went horribly,
horribly, wrong.”
The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, “growing tired of throwing fake blood and
shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats,” decided to protest the annual motorcycle club
event “in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats.”
“In fact,” said the organizer, “motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it
was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it…ergo, they should stop.”
According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960’s era Volkswagen van and began to pelt
the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting “you’re murderers” to
passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.
“They peed on me!!!” charged one activist. “They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me
‘La Trene’, and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!”
“I…I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket, and he…he didn’t even care. I called him
a murderer, and all he said was, ‘You can’t prove that.’ Next thing I know he forced me to ride on the back of his
motorcycle all day, and would not let me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman.”
Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were
allegedly held down while several bikers “farted on their heads.”
Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however,
organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed “surprise” at the allegations.
“That’s preposterous,” said one high-ranking member of the biker organizing committee. “We were having a party,
and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the
entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know,
just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally,
I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to
make them feel welcome.”
When confronted with the allegations of force-feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them
incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and ‘farting on their heads,’ the organizer declined to comment in
detail. “That’s just our secret handshake,” assured the organizer.

[Edited on 30/3/10 by sucksqueezebangblow]

LOL

I liked the force feeding them meat and farting on their heads bit!

Dressing up in a leather jump suit is a bit 'odd' to me but that is very funny

very funny story!

[rant mode on]
I did NOT love the 6 fair weather bikers out on Sunday who decided to make my little brothers life hell while I was taking him out driving (he's a learner).

Overtaking and undertaking with oncoming traffic on windy country lanes. Wouldn't have been fussed if it was me driving, but it's scary enough when you're not used to a car and the faster roads.

Next time it happens I'll be causing an accident, and we wont be the ones going home in an ambulance .
[/rant mode off]

quote:

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Originally posted by cd.thomson
very funny story!

[rant mode on]
I did NOT love the 6 fair weather bikers out on Sunday who decided to make my little brothers life hell while I was taking him out driving (he's a learner).

Overtaking and undertaking with oncoming traffic on windy country lanes. Wouldn't have been fussed if it was me driving, but it's scary enough when you're not used to a car and the faster roads.

Next time it happens I'll be causing an accident, and we wont be the ones going home in an ambulance .
[/rant mode off]

---

quote:

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Originally posted by cd.thomson
[rant mode on]
I did NOT love the 6 fair weather bikers out on Sunday who decided to make my little brothers life hell while I was taking him out driving (he's a learner).

Overtaking and undertaking with oncoming traffic on windy country lanes. Wouldn't have been fussed if it was me driving, but it's scary enough when you're not used to a car and the faster roads.

Next time it happens I'll be causing an accident, and we wont be the ones going home in an ambulance .
[/rant mode off]

---

Lol, thats brilliant....

While I suspect it's probably a made up internet story, I'll take it at face value.

They might have had a point if cows were killed for their skins, but the skins are a by product of the meat industry and would be incinerated or landfilled if not used to make clothes/upholstery.

So in reality its eco friendly to wear leather rather than plastic.

Given the reputation of some of the hells angels in the US they came out of it pretty unscathed.

Unsurprisingly, not real, funny though

quote:

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Originally posted by Staple balls
Unsurprisingly, not real, funny though

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quote:

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Originally posted by cd.thomson


[rant mode on]


Next time it happens I'll be causing an accident, and we wont be the ones going home in an ambulance .
[/rant mode off]

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quote:

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Originally posted by 02GF74
actually, people don't go home in an ambulance but to hospital.

pretty obvious the story is fake.

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quote:

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Originally posted by cd.thomson
Next time it happens I'll be causing an accident, and we wont be the ones going home in an ambulance .
[/rant mode off]

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quote:

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Originally posted by MikeRJ
Probably not a good idea to post that you are intending to cause an accident on a public forum...

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quote:

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Originally posted by cd.thomson

quote:

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Originally posted by MikeRJ
Probably not a good idea to post that you are intending to cause an accident on a public forum...

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Or my plans to drive a forklift truck loaded with terrorists into westminster

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Is it possible to cause an accident intentionally? I mean it's not an accident then..

Pedantics aside, I ride a scooter 15 miles each way to work nowadays, and the amount of times I've been unsure that the car driver has seen me is getting silly.. Having said that I nearly pulled out on a biker myself the other day..

Bikers should "know" that once they put that helmet on they're invisible, so doing daft riding like the above is, well it's their funeral... Especially when something like this happens

it is a shame it's fake but still very funny..........and yes you don't go home in an ambalance you go to a place where over worked, underpaid and under apricatated people try to put you back together again and i dont mean british airways..........