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Being British.......
clairetoo - 20/1/11 at 04:55 PM

Being British . . .

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish
kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a
Japanese TV.
And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!
Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the
back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a
DIET coke.
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the
counters.
Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and
lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have
call waiting so we won ' t miss a call from someone we didn ' t want to
talk to in the first place.

loggyboy - 20/1/11 at 05:12 PM

LOL

however, apart from the first sentence, the rest could be applied to pretty much any western country.

speedyxjs - 20/1/11 at 05:33 PM

Strontium Dog - 20/1/11 at 05:43 PM

Yep, that sounds about right. Lol!

David Jenkins - 20/1/11 at 06:54 PM

Pretty much on-target...

balidey - 20/1/11 at 07:41 PM

quote:
Originally posted by clairetoo
Being British is about driving in a German car

Not something I aspire to, they are driven by knobs.

quote:
Originally posted by clairetoo
to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer


Err, not me as I have and want to keep my front teeth.

quote:
Originally posted by clairetoo
then travelling home


Advocating drink driving? Not likely.

quote:
Originally posted by clairetoo
grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish
kebab on the way


Indian food = Red slop, or yellow slop.... with rice. Would rather have good old (British) fish n chips.

quote:
Originally posted by clairetoo
to sit on Swedish furniture


Expensive, flimsy, bland Ikea ?

quote:
Originally posted by clairetoo
and watch American shows


Or stab my eyes out with a spoon? Oxymoron.... American Comedy.

quote:
Originally posted by clairetoo
on a Japanese TV.


If the far east hadn't shafted our manufacturing industry maybe we wouldn't be left with.... Japanese TV or no TV.

OK, so the original list was written to sound a bit funny and portray us as hating outsiders.... yet happily using their products which makes us seem two faced. But in all honesty, I would rather.....

Get into my Lotus Elise, drive to the chippy (forget the pub as its full of chavs) and sod the TV as there's bugger all on anyway.

scootz - 20/1/11 at 07:44 PM

quote:
Originally posted by balidey
If the far east hadn't shafted our manufacturing industry...


I thought we did that ourselves in the 80's!

*COUGH*Maggie*COUGH*

Strontium Dog - 20/1/11 at 08:11 PM

quote:
Originally posted by scootz
quote:
Originally posted by balidey
If the far east hadn't shafted our manufacturing industry...


I thought we did that ourselves in the 80's!

*COUGH*Maggie*COUGH*




Evil incarnate, best not to mention her name three times I reckon!

designer - 20/1/11 at 08:45 PM

The Race


A British company and a Japanese company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Thames.

When the race took place the Japanese won by a mile.

The British company, discouraged by this loss, decided that the reason for this crushing defeat had to be found. A project team was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate action. The project team concluded that the Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering, whereas the British team had one person rowing and eight steering.

Senior management immediately hired a consultancy to do a study of the British team structure. Millions of pounds and several months later they concluded that too many people were steering and not enough rowing.

In order to beat the Japanese the team structure was changed to four Steering Managers. three Senior Steering Managers, an Executive Steering Manager and a Rower. A performance and appraisal system was set up to give the rower an incentive to work harder and to become a key performer.

In the next race the Japanese won by two miles.

As a result of another defeat the British company laid off the rower for poor performance, sold all the oars, cancelled all capital investment, halted development of a new boat, gave high performance awards to the consultants and distributed the money saved to Senior Management.

whitestu - 20/1/11 at 09:11 PM

That would be funny if it wasn't true!

Peteff - 20/1/11 at 11:30 PM

My telly is Korean I don't have Murdoch's curse on it though even though he is only Australian.

[Edited on 20/1/11 by Peteff]

Simon - 20/1/11 at 11:56 PM

quote:
Originally posted by scootz
quote:
Originally posted by balidey
If the far east hadn't shafted our manufacturing industry...


I thought we did that ourselves in the 80's!

*COUGH*Maggie*COUGH*


Well that's crap. Think you'll find it was a mix of unions and bad management. I'm sure I mentioned before, an uncle of mine worked for a big bakery in Liverpool. The union pulled them out on strike. Management shut the factory. No jobs whatsoever left. People need to understand that there is a finite amount of money in most businesses and most of the profits (like most of the risks) go to those that have the biggest interest - the shareholder or business owners (who after all, started the business with their own money and skill). As I heard on the radio today, someone was being showed around on their first day at work and was told "If you can't manage on the money, don't worry, we'll find someone who can".

Maggie may have closed the pits, but bear in mind these were state run and part of the civil service effectively, therefore subsidized by private sector and as happens in a free market, if the government can get it cheaper from abroad, surely it is duty bound to do so. After all, I bet you bought a chinese toaster for a tenner rather than a UK made one for fifty quid. If you are so critical of Maggie doing that, why don't I hear you whining that Gordo and Bliar did nothing to save MG Rover. And don't come up with the EU wouldn't allow it.

And while we're at it, who taxed my pension! Which I now won't bother with, cos Gordo nicked it.

ATB

Simon

[Edited on 20/1/11 by Simon]

marcjagman - 21/1/11 at 12:06 AM

That's all well and good, and mostly true on all counts, but I'm English not British, there is a bit of difference.

Madinventions - 21/1/11 at 12:59 AM

Blokes in sheds tinkering with oily car parts? Sounds English enough to me.

whitestu - 21/1/11 at 08:15 AM

quote:

Maggie may have closed the pits, but bear in mind these were state run and part of the civil service effectively, therefore subsidized by private sector and as happens in a free market, if the government can get it cheaper from abroad, surely it is duty bound to do so.


If you believe that then you don't have a good understanding of the miners strike. Maggie's actions were nothing to do with economics.

Stu

mcerd1 - 21/1/11 at 09:16 AM

quote:
Originally posted by scootz
quote:
Originally posted by balidey
If the far east hadn't shafted our manufacturing industry...
I thought we did that ourselves in the 80's!

I recon we started down that path in the 40's and by the 70's it was already too late to do much about it

(never mind 'her who shall not be named' )



[Edited on 21/1/2011 by mcerd1]

Ninehigh - 21/1/11 at 09:52 AM

What's a pension?

I would buy the £50 British toaster, provided it is of a better build quality than the chinese version. I'd happily pay double what most items are going for now on the basis that they actually last a long time and don't break within a year.

scootz - 21/1/11 at 10:17 AM

quote:
Originally posted by Simon
quote:
Originally posted by scootz
quote:
Originally posted by balidey
If the far east hadn't shafted our manufacturing industry...


I thought we did that ourselves in the 80's!

*COUGH*Maggie*COUGH*


After all, I bet you bought a chinese toaster for a tenner rather than a UK made one for fifty quid...


Hmmm.... try searching the words 'scootz' 'china' and 'chinese' on this site. You might find you're just a little bit wrong!

pewe - 21/1/11 at 12:50 PM

Whitestu ^^ it had everything to do with economics.
If you are old enough to remember it Thatcher set out to break the Unions (I still have a newspaper cutting from
1978 predicting that one of the Nationalised industries would be an in-coming Tory governments target to break the Unions
and more interestingly predicting, correctly, how they would go about it).
Why? Because there was virtual anarchy created by the Unions in many industries - coal, car, engineering in general etc. etc.
Longbridge (BMC) spent more time out on strike in the late 60's, early 70's than they did actually working.
Even when they were working their level of production and quality of product was pitiful.
I worked on a day job (8.00-4.00) with a guy who also worked full-time on the night-shift at Longbridge.
How? Because they clocked on, did an hours work, kipped down for 6 hours, breakfast, then an hour's work, go home & were paid
for a full shift thanks to their Union.
Management were too weak, incapable, ineffective and generally lilly-livered to halt that cycle so it took someone like Thatcher to break it.
The inevitability was that the Japanese/Chinese could take our markets because British industry had rested on its laurels too long.
Thatcher gave British manufacturing a wake-up call, albeit too late for most.
Who's fault was it? The likes of Red Robbo, Arthur Scargill and other Communists/Marxists (call them what you like they were all as Red as they come)
who in those days actively and cynically strove to bring down the capitalist system.

Sits back and waits for the on-slaught.......

Cheers, Pewe

blakep82 - 21/1/11 at 12:58 PM

quote:
Originally posted by balidey
I would rather.....

Get into my Lotus Elise


malaysian then...

balidey - 21/1/11 at 01:03 PM

quote:
Originally posted by blakep82
quote:
Originally posted by balidey
I would rather.....

Get into my Lotus Elise


malaysian then...


Damn. Nearly made me choke on my Danish Bacon sandwich

blakep82 - 21/1/11 at 01:12 PM

with british HP sauce, or american ketchup?
what am i saying, they're both Heinz now aren't they?

flange nut - 21/1/11 at 01:15 PM

HP sauce is now manufactured in the Netherlands.

Geoff

whitestu - 21/1/11 at 09:09 PM

quote:

Whitestu ^^ it had everything to do with economics.
If you are old enough to remember it Thatcher set out to break the Unions (I still have a newspaper cutting from
1978 predicting that one of the Nationalised industries would be an in-coming Tory governments target to break the Unions
and more interestingly predicting, correctly, how they would go about it).
Why? Because there was virtual anarchy created by the Unions in many industries - coal, car, engineering in general etc. etc.
Longbridge (BMC) spent more time out on strike in the late 60's, early 70's than they did actually working.
Even when they were working their level of production and quality of product was pitiful.
I worked on a day job (8.00-4.00) with a guy who also worked full-time on the night-shift at Longbridge.
How? Because they clocked on, did an hours work, kipped down for 6 hours, breakfast, then an hour's work, go home & were paid
for a full shift thanks to their Union.
Management were too weak, incapable, ineffective and generally lilly-livered to halt that cycle so it took someone like Thatcher to break it.
The inevitability was that the Japanese/Chinese could take our markets because British industry had rested on its laurels too long.
Thatcher gave British manufacturing a wake-up call, albeit too late for most.
Who's fault was it? The likes of Red Robbo, Arthur Scargill and other Communists/Marxists (call them what you like they were all as Red as they come)
who in those days actively and cynically strove to bring down the capitalist system.

Sits back and waits for the on-slaught.......

Cheers, Pewe



I don't disagree with a lotof what you have said, but what was needed was some proper management that got the workers onside, not the closing of places that were highly profitable because the PM didn't like the politics of the union leaders [neither did most of the people who worked there]. The Thatcher government were so unbelivably short sighted it beggars belief. The marginalisation of the unions could have been done in a way that didn't destroy the industries operated in.

I used to work in the mining industry in a pit that produced low cost quality coal [cheaper than imported coal if you took the subsidy the companies importing to the UK received]. It was closed solely beacuse Thatcher wanted rid of the miners

Stu

pewe - 23/1/11 at 04:06 PM

Whitestu ^^, similarly I don't disagree with you on Thatcher being short-sighted. In her singular drive to rid industry of viperous union leadership
she lost sight of the fact that there were decent, hard-working people who would become casualties of her action.
Management were also guilty of being complicit in that they didn't have the balls or will to stand up to A Scargill and his cohorts.
Benefit of hind-sight says it could have been handled better all round but something had to halt the drift towards anarchy.
Interestingly enough TV programme today mentioned a WW2 bunker at Naezing, Essex which they were in the process of
re-opening during the Miners' Strike as they feared Civil War!
Cheers, Pewe
PS Sorry for the hi-jack Clairetoo.

[Edited on 24/1/11 by pewe]

Confused but excited. - 23/1/11 at 04:21 PM

Margaret Thatcher did absolute wonders for a small island economy.











Unfortunately, that small island was Japan.

[Edited on 23/1/11 by Confused but excited.]

Peteff - 24/1/11 at 11:31 PM

You complain that people here do nothing about what the government foists on us unlike the French. The unions are the only organisations that ever stood up for working people and the miners openly confronted the government and yet you blame the people who backed them saying that they were reds. If the unions had not been formed you would still be working 90 hour weeks with no holidays and no benefits if you were off sick or injured. Even if you have never been in a union you have benefited from their influence if you are in employment. Get your head out of the sand, if you get up in the morning and go out to work no matter what it is, to the present government you are working class and their main source of income. Privatised industries like mining, steel and power have all now got to support shareholders and most of their profit comes from sourcing material from abroad and selling it on at a profit, not producing it here any more.

scootz - 25/1/11 at 10:28 AM

quote:
Originally posted by Confused but excited.
Margaret Thatcher did absolute wonders for a small island economy.











Unfortunately, that small island was Japan.