Well not murder per se but I've been reading a lot of this and it's getting me thinking "how could I ruin someone's life"?

Now the disclaimer here is I'm not going to do any of this, it's just for fun and to see how twisted your minds are too

So here's the target:
I know his name, but not his middle name
I know where he lives, as in I could take you to his house
I know what he looks like, and what his wife looks like too
I know his wife's first name (if it has any bearing)
I know where he works, but it's a big place so I wouldn't be able to send anything or go there myself.
I don't know what he does for a job, or when.
I don't have a massive budget for anything elaborate, but I could probably burn a couple hundred quid on materials

I'm thinking things along the lines of "get him fired" or "arouse his missus's suspicions" but I'm sure we could go deeper

And finally, if any of you think I'm strange or I'm actually going to do any of this, read my disclaimer again and bear in mind I average 14.6 hours per shift so I don't have time to pull cunning stunts.

just shoot him in the face! that wont do him any good.

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Originally posted by daniel mason
just shoot him in the face! that wont do him any good.

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Originally posted by Miks15

quote:

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Originally posted by daniel mason
just shoot him in the face! that wont do him any good.

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That might just kill him, going against the not murder thing

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im not talikng shotgun. just a rifle thriugh the cheek bone. it will disfigure the guy,but not kill him.
from a nearby elevated location to avoid the cops!

[Edited on 6/5/11 by daniel mason]

acid attack, on his willy

if you know where he lives, what about putting 6" nails in front of his tyres so when he drives off to work he punctures the front two. hit his wallet!

After being made redundant a friend of mine stuffed a bag full of live mice through our bosses letterbox when he was off on his annual 3 week holiday in the hope that they'd breed and nest etc.., not life ruining but probably very annoying!

don't waste time arousing his missus's suspicions
just arouse his missus

i spent four years at RBS, every spare minute of every day i used to try and work out if there was a way to bring down the whole bank all on my own, using the PC we had to use. in the end, i didn't need to... they made a good go of it themselves.

set fire to bag of poo on his front door. ring the bell, when he comes out he'll naturally stamp on it.

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Originally posted by loggyboy
set fire to bag of poo on his front door. ring the bell, when he comes out he'll naturally stamp on it.

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If you can get hold of a skunk, let it do its thing all over his car or other propety. It is near impossible to remove the smell. Usually car written off.Just a thought.

Paket of maggots and old bacon through the letterbox on the 1st day of his holiday.

A freind of SWMBOs poured cress seads all over her ex's carpet then soaked it through, and left if for a fortnight.

Because I tinker with cars someone once asked me if I could blow a car up! Now IF I was that way inclined (I am not). Take a screwdriver and puncture a hole in the rubber hose connecting the fuel filler to the tank, connect a long piece of cable from the King lead or HT lead and poke it through the hole so it is touching the inside of the tank. Now I realise their are some flaws, rubber hose, access to HT leads etc but it could well do some damage to whoever tries to start that car. A pair of molegrips on a brake flexi would probably give someone a bad day. The risk of death to pedestrians, innocents, culprit or intended victims means you should never ever try this, seriously dont! I need to go to sleep earlier.
Joe

Perfect murder on the other hand is easy. Confined space (like the interior of a car) suddenly filled with nitrogen from a big old tank of liquid N2. Diplaces all the oxygen but nothing to show up on post mortem...

if you know where he lives, subscribe him to anything and everything you can find. Out on the high street and approached by someone ....... sign up. If you're really cruel, join a web site that allows you to do phone number look ups based on addresses. Then make up some flyers, post them in phone boxes (ok, i lived in london 15 years ago, phone boxes had flyers for women who would 'entertain' men - no idea if that is still advertised this way).

Remember, the royal mail are legally obliged to deliver all mail to an address

Although this is harrassment and illegal. You'd therefore be risking a trip to court and taking the punishment like a man. If he's pee'ing you off. Get him out of your life by complaining to someone higher up or changing jobs, life is too short

Silicon spray/grease on his windscreen seriosly difficult to remove and you would just get a slap on the wrists if caught by the constablary, not worth risking going to jail for anything more serious.

Send him begging letters from his ex mistress pleading not to end their affair, his Mrs would give him more grief than you ever could.

If you can get into his car stuff some kippers into the fresh air/heating ducts, or up the exhast pipe or stuff potatoes up the exhaust loads of them, car won' start, and if it does will probably wreck his exhaust or turn it into a powerful potatoe gun seriously annoying his neighbour parked behind him. The list is endless, just depends on how much he has pi**ed you off, did he get you fired or something?

[Edited on 14/5/11 by spiderman]

[Edited on 14/5/11 by spiderman]

[Edited on 15/5/11 by spiderman]

Send him a letter from the local sexual health clinic saying they're disappointed that he did not keep his appointment in January and that it would be advisable to return as soon as possible.

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Originally posted by daniel mason
just shoot him in the face! that wont do him any good.

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Do what my friend did when a customer refused to pay him for a perfectly good plastering job saying what you going too do, he still had the keys so popped back the next week when he knew she was at work, pulled back her carpets in 2 rooms and filled her floorboards full of cockroaches and cockroach eggs from net and loads of seeds too keep the smell down but the breeding up!

He said it was the best £1500 job he lost- id love to see her face


[Edited on 22/5/11 by Krismc]

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Originally posted by BenB
Perfect murder on the other hand is easy. Confined space (like the interior of a car) suddenly filled with nitrogen from a big old tank of liquid N2. Diplaces all the oxygen but nothing to show up on post mortem...

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Originally posted by Confused but excited.

quote:

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Originally posted by BenB
Perfect murder on the other hand is easy. Confined space (like the interior of a car) suddenly filled with nitrogen from a big old tank of liquid N2. Diplaces all the oxygen but nothing to show up on post mortem...

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All together.............Oh yes it will!

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simple if you have a little IT skill...

sit outside his house and brute force his wifi connection (make sure hes home)

using his wifi, fill his pc with kiddie pron.

start enough local rumors and 'no smoke without fire' theory and soon enough hes in a world of trouble.

to be honest I think its probably the worst thing you can do to someone.

edit: do i win an award if mines the most fucked up?

[Edited on 22/5/11 by MikeFellows]