The better half dragged me off shopping yesterday.
That's second only to painting and decorating on my hate list.
She was looking for a frock to wear to a summer party.
I really blotted the copy-book when she appeared in a fitted number and interrupted my thoughts about building a cold-air box for the inlet tract.
I guess that's why my response went down like a wet f*rt.
She - " What do you think of this one?" (about the tenth one).
Me - "Well it does look a bit like a boa consrictor trying to consume a horse".
Funnily enough that was the end of the shopping trip.
She did ask.....
Cheers, Pewe10

Good job you weren't looking the other way going "Nice backend on that one"

In situations like this, it's nearly always better to lie. You know you've lied, she knows you've lied but at least she never knows what you really think. It's one of those few occasions when honesty really isn't the best policy. I admire your bravery though. By the way, did you type this from your hospital bed

quote:

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Originally posted by pewe
Q -" What do you think of this one?"
Ans - "Well it does look a bit like a boa consrictor trying to consume a horse".

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Don't worry, there's always another bus. Now you know for next time.

first and last time I ever went clothes shopping with the missus she went straight to the bra fitting section, honestly wtf?! having to sit there like a leery perv while all these young shop girls joked asking if I needed a fitting

Bad move...! Always say 'lovely dear.... What do you think?'

And never pause, and look her up and down before you respond!

oh dear.......hope you can cook.

The repercussions of that comment will take months or even years to go away.My daughter learnt those skills at five years old and at 27 i get reminded of how cruel i was to her...supposedly

But sometimes the dangerous retort is too tempting not to use. One anniversary I was out with my wife...

Me: Are you wearing perfume?
Her: Yes, "Contradiction"
Me: As in, how can something so expensive smell so cheap?

I ran giggling like a loon

just say, as our relationship is based on honesty, I must say you look well fat in that...

quote:

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Originally posted by Mr Whippy
just say, as our relationship is based on honesty, I must say you look well fat in that...

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The correct answer was: "yes. Thats lovely. Lets go home."

quote:

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Originally posted by owelly
The correct answer was: "yes. Thats lovely. Lets go home."

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"Agreed. And if you want extra brownie points, drop in a "That looks great! You may need to get some new shoes and a bag to go with it though?!" Guarenteed to get you a brew and some garage time if nothing else. "

and another 4 days of wasted foot work of shopping

I ALLWAYS avoid any comment, as even a Thats ok" will be asked with "why dont you like the other one?"

Plus any argument in my house with my wife, ends with me saying, "and you allways have to have the last word"

and she says, "no i dont"

i walk out at that point, its so much easier!

Nothing wrong with that, its a very clever comment.

Make up sex more exciting and dangerous!!


Of and for future reference may i suggest other comments?

" its a great dress, it almost hides your fat rolls!"

"shrink wrapped clotging is soo technically impressive!"

Funny reading all your comments
As you all know I traded up and got a new one after kicking the other one to touch.

I go shopping for clothes all the time with the new girl and she complains I out shop her
My girl threw out all my clothes and took me shopping for stuff that fits. I now have a wardrobe with
proper fitting clothes and I look and feel a million dollars better.

We have some local difficulties with a former obese couch dweller but it will all work out.

Shopping well thats not a problem as is garage time ect

Sorry to see you all suffer but I know why divorces are so expensive!

Its because its worth it

quote:

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Originally posted by pewe
The better half dragged me off shopping yesterday.
That's second only to painting and decorating on my hate list.
She was looking for a frock to wear to a summer party.
I really blotted the copy-book when she appeared in a fitted number and interrupted my thoughts about building a cold-air box for the inlet tract.
I guess that's why my response went down like a wet f*rt.
She - " What do you think of this one?" (about the tenth one).
Me - "Well it does look a bit like a boa consrictor trying to consume a horse".
Funnily enough that was the end of the shopping trip.
She did ask.....
Cheers, Pewe10

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pmsl, it makes me laugh reading this stuff .If you can't be honest with your other half then why the hell are you with them ,oh that's right , you're pussy whipped.

When she opens the curtain and says does my bum look big in this don't say, " It does a bit love but it is only a small changing room " No sense of humour sometimes

These days I tend to say what I think, as whatever I say will be wrong and If I say nothing that will be wrong as well

Wife staring sadly at herself in mirror.

She - " I look so tired, old and fat "
( He - silence )
She - " Well say something to cheer me up "

He " At least your eyesight's still in good nick "