you at 80 miles per hour, sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it
on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating." Not
looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear,
you know that this car doesn't have cruise control." As the officer
writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls,
"Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar
detector went off when it did." As the officer makes out the second
ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife
and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your
mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing
your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine." The driver says,
"Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you
pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your
seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving." And
as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns
to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE... SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband
always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
" Only when he's been drinking."
