Bad Day At Work?
>
>
> you have to read the whole story to get the full effect of
it....and
> smile This is even funnier when you realize it's real! The next
time
>you
>have a bad day at work, think of this guy. Rob is a commercial
saturation
>diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs
>on offshore drilling rigs.
>
> Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to a
rad io
>station 103.2 on the FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was
sponsoring
>a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
>
> Hi Sue:
>
> Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I
had
>a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at
work,
>so
>I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's
>not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I
first
>must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my
office
>lies
>at the b ottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet
suit
and
>this time of year the water is quite cool! So to keep warm we have a
>diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
equipment
>sucks the water out of the sea and heats it to a delightful
temperature.
It
>then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped
to
>the air
>hose.
> Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several
times
>with no complaints. What I do when I get the bottom and start working
is
>take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods
my
>whole
>suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
>Everything was going well until all of the sudden, my butt started to
>itch. Of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a
>few
>seconds my butt started to burn I pulled the hose out from my back,
but
the
>damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot
water
>machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now,
since
I
>don't
>have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.
However,
>the
>crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I
thought
>was
>an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my
>butt.
> I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
communicator. His
>instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
>other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I
aborted
>the dive.
> I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression
stops
>totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to
>begin my chamber dry. When I arrived at the surface I was wearing
nothing
>but
>my brass helmet.
> As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
>running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub
it on
>my
>butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but
I
>couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
> So next time you're having a bad day at work, think about
how
much
>worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
> Now repeat to yourself, I love my job, I love my job, I love my
job.

That is never true... but it is undeniably funny!