Must be sung in a Glasgow accent. If you can't quite manage that, try a sort of Billy Connolly voice only much less luvvy

Sing along to the tune of bohemian rhapsody.........




********************

Is this the real life?
Or is it the methodone?
Stuck in the Gorbals, two bob fur the telephone?

Open yer wine, an' talk wi' a whine........like meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Um just a weeji,
Gie us yer Sunny D

Cos I'll chib yer pal,
Rip yer da,
Slash yer dug,
Ride yer ma!
Any way the Clydeflows, disnae really matter tae me......tae me.

Haw maw, just chibbed some bam
Buckie bottle tae the heid
Noo the stupit bustards deid!

Haw maw, um just oan parole
An noo I'm headin back tae Barlineeeee......

Haw Maw.......oohooh ooh
Never meant tae steal yer purse
But if I'm no fu' o' smack this time the morra'
Carry oot, carry oot!
An we'll go oot on the batter!

Too late...the bailiff's here
Sends shivers doon ma spine
Gubbed 10 jellies just in time

Goodbye all ma muckers, I've got tae go
Got to go and rip some stuff fae up the scheme

Haw Maw.......oohooh oooh I'm a jakey bam, I sometimes think I've never
been
washed at all

I see a little silhouetto of a bam
Adidas! Adidas! Can ye get us some Kappa? Thunderbird, White Lightning,
Very
very Frightening, me!

Twenty Mayfair? (Twenty Mayfair!)
Twenty Mayfair? (Twenty Mayfair and some skins!) Magnifico oh oh oh oh!

I'm just a fat boy, nae body loves me
He's just a fat boy fae a fat family!
Spare us a pound for a wee cup o' tea?

Get stuck in, skanky slob, will ye get a job?
No way.........NO I will not get a job Get a job!
No way........
NO I will not get a job Get a job........willnae get a job Get
job........willnae get a job no no no no no.....

Oh gonorrheoea!
Gonnorrhoea!
Gonnorhoea and the clap!

Then doon the pub, has the barman put aside For me?
For me,
For meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

So you hink ye can slash me an pish in ma eye?
So ye hink ye can chib me an leave me tae die?

Haw baw bag!
Can't dae this tae me bawbag!
Just wait till I'm oot
Just wait till I'm right oot ma nut!!

Disnae really matter, anyone can see
Disnae really matter.....
Disnae really matter.....
Tae meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee............
eeeeeeeeee............eeeeeeeeee!!!

quote:

---

Originally posted by zilspeed

Buckie bottle tae the heid

---

its sadly very true all ya hear off the bams as ya walk by them in school is " got some buckie and almost got stabed" you would think they would learn not to play with knifes

Strange what all that rain does to the west coasters.

Mango

Your new Avatar......

Spacebats !!

(the fast show - John Thomson)

We can't get Buckfast down here. We can read about it and wish though.
http://www.buckfast.org.uk/TONIC.HTM
This is my favourite bit " a finished product round and mature to the most discerning of tastes." Really conjures up pictures of Rab C. doesn't it

Fast Show again, I'm a alien.

[Edited on 5/5/05 by Peteff]