A woman came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman.

With superhuman strength borne of fury, she dragged her husband down the stairs to the garage and put his manhood in a vice. She then secured it tightly and removed the handle.

Next she picked up a hacksaw.

The husband terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to cut it off are you?"

The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, said, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."

Heard this before as a redhead joke (my missus is a redhead). Here's another one:


Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly.

“Becky my darling,” he whispered.

“Hush my love,” she said. "Rest, don’t talk."

He was insistent. “Becky,” he said in his tired voice, “I have something that I must confess.”

“There’s nothing to confess,” replied the weeping Becky, everything’s all right, go to sleep.”

“No, no, I must die in peace, Becky I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend and your mother!”

“I know, my sweet one,” whispered Becky, “relax and let the poison work.”

[Edited on 17/8/05 by pbura]