Paddy was keen to get to work now that he'd arrived in Australia. He loved sport and he had a fair bit of building experience, so he headed for the MCG, hoping to sign on for the Commonwealth Games project.

He discovered that he needed to join the union before he could get onto the workforce, which he was willing to do, but the union boss was playing it tough.

"Paddy, before we let you on to the site, we need to check out whether you know the difference between a girder and a joist," he said.

"Well," replied Paddy, "Oi don't know what dat has to do wit' any buildin' work, but off de top 'o my head, Oi'd say dat Goethe wrote Faust, and Joyce wrote Ulysses!"

Reminds me of a story my builder told me. When at a job a few years back, an interior load bearing wall had been taken out, Beams fitted, all plastering completed etc, just needed passing off by building inspector. Apprentice was cleaning up whilst boss went out for some lunch. Inspector arrived early so apprentice explained what had been done including how a JCB had been fitted. Inspector made the apprentice smash a hole in the newly plastered wall so he could take a look. After a while he inspected further and said all was well. As he was leaving he told the Apprentice to tell his boss what the difference between a JCB and RSJ is!!!!!