I was in Tesco's buying a large bag of Winalot for my Labrador
Retriever and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I
had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital
last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and
IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Winalot nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by
now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned, and was that why I was in
the hospital.


I said
no....................................................................
.......
I'd been sitting in the street licking my
balls and a car hit me.

F**KING BRILLIANT! LMAO.
I had to wait for the tears to dry up to type this.