Two friends are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly one of them throws up all over himself.
"Oh, no. Now my wife will kill me!"
His friend says, "Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty pound note in your shirt pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and
gave you twenty pounds for the dry cleaning bill."
So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker.
Eventually the first one stumbles home and his wife starts to give him a bad time.
"You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God,
you're disgusting!"
Speaking very carefully so as not to slur his words, he says,
"Nowainaminit, I can e'splain everythin! Itsh snot wha you think. I only hada cupla drrrinks. But thiss other guy got ssick on me...he had
one too many, and he juss koudin hold hizz drinkkk. He said he was very sorry an' gave me £20 in my shirt pocket for the cleaning bill!"
His wife looks in the shirt pocket and says, "But there's two twentys. That's £40"
"Oh, yeah... I almos' fergot.........he shhit in my pants too"
Ooops
Class!