donut
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 posted on 9/4/05 at 12:31 PM |
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Thank you for shopping at ASDA
One day in line at the works cafe, Bob says to Trev behind him
My elbow hurts like hell, I suppose Id better see a doctor
Listen, dont waste your time down at the surgery Trev replies, there is a diagnostic computer at ASDA. Just give it a urine sample and the
computer will tell you what is wrong, and what to do about it. It takes 10 seconds and costs a fiver, much quicker than the doctor
So Bob collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to ASDA. He deposits five pounds, the computer lights up, takes the sample, and 10 seconds
later a print out appears
You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
******THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT ASDA******
That evening whilst think how wonderful modern technoligy is Bob wondered if the computer could be fooled
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masterbated into the mixture for good measure,
Bob hurried back to ASDA, eager to find out what the result would be
Puts in his fiver, deposits the sample and waits.
The computer prints the following
1. Your tap water is too hard , get a water softner
2. Your dog has ring worm , bathe him in anti fungal shampoo
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit , get her into rehab
4. your wife is pregnant , twins, not yours , get a lawyer,
5. And if you dont stop playing with your self, your elbow will never get better
.
******THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT ASDA******
Andy
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/andywest1/
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Deckman001
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| posted on 9/4/05 at 12:39 PM |
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You've got too much time on your hands matey !! 
Jason
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JoelP
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| posted on 9/4/05 at 09:57 PM |
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great joke though...
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donut
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| posted on 9/4/05 at 10:27 PM |
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Jason- That's what happens when you have nothing to build!!
Andy
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/andywest1/
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