DarrenW
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| posted on 22/8/05 at 10:23 AM |
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New Monday quiz
Quiz 1
A man goes to the cinema with his son. They both leave after the film and on the way home are in a terrible car accident. The father is killed
outright and his son is rushed into hospital with serious injuries. At the hospital it is decided that the son needs urgent operation. The surgeon
takes one look at him and says "I cant operate on this boy as it is my son!". How can this be?
Quiz 2
A snail has aspirations of being a climber. It starts to climb a wall one day and it takes him all day to ascend 4 feet. He falls asleep and slips
down 3 feet. In short he manages to do 1 foot in one day. How many days would it take for him to reach the summit of the 10foot wall?
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scoobyis2cool
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| posted on 22/8/05 at 11:02 AM |
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1) The surgeon is his mother.
2) 7 days.
Do i get a prize? 
Pete
It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care...
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Hellfire
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| posted on 22/8/05 at 11:03 AM |
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Quiz 1
The son's surgeon is his mother - bu88er misses the prize!!! 
[Edited on 22-8-05 by Hellfire]
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scoobyis2cool
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| posted on 22/8/05 at 11:06 AM |
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Too slow
Pete
It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care...
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Snuggs
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| posted on 22/8/05 at 12:44 PM |
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If it takes 10 men 2 days to dig a hole then how long will it take 5 men to dig half a hole ?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.topcashback.co.uk/ref/snuggstcb
Spider pig, spider pig, does whatever a spider pig does.
I doubt therefore I may be.
Luposlipophobia : Fear of being chased by wolves around a freshly waxed kitchen floor, while wearing only socks on your feet.
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!
http://www.venganza.org
http://www.jesusandmo.net/
http://www.snuggs.co.uk
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ned
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| posted on 22/8/05 at 01:06 PM |
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2 days?
beware, I've got yellow skin
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scoobyis2cool
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| posted on 22/8/05 at 01:12 PM |
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No such thing as half a hole 
Pete
It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care...
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Scotty
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| posted on 22/8/05 at 01:28 PM |
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The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a "professional" ...
Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult.
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an
overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, "Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator"? (Wrong Answer) Correct Answer: Open the
refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your
previous actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory.
OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true bilities.
4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it ?
Correct Answer: You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
PLEASE NOTE! All comments made by this person are to be considered "Tongue in Cheek" and are not meant to be taken seriously in any way - so there!
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scoobyis2cool
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| posted on 22/8/05 at 01:31 PM |
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Very funny!
Pete
It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care...
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Scotty
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| posted on 22/8/05 at 01:38 PM |
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MATHS TEST FOR SECONDARY SCHOOLS IN THE NORTH:
NAME _________________________
NICK-NAME ____________________
GANG NAME ____________________
1. Deco has 0.5 kilos of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Vinno for 300 quid and 90 grams to Tomo for 90 quid a gram, what is the street value of the
rest of his hold?
2. Anto pimps 3 brassers. If the price is 40 quid a royde, how many roydes per day must each brasser perform to support Vinno's 500 quid a day
crack habit?
3. Whacker wants to cut the kilo of cocaine he bought for 7,000 quid, to make a 20% profit. How many grams of strychnine will he need?
4. Christy got 6 years for murder. He also got 350,000 for the hit. If his common law wife spends 33,100 per month, how much money will be left when
he gets out?
Extra Credit Bonus: How much more time will Christy get for killing the slapper that spent his money?
5. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square meters and the average letter is 1 square meter, how many letters can be sprayed with eight fluid
ounce cans of spray paint with 20% extra paint free?
6. Liamo steals Eamo's skateboard. As Liamo skates away at a speed of 35mph, Eamo loads his brother's armalite. If it takes Eamo 20
seconds to load the gun, how far will Liamo have travelled when he gets whacked?
MATHS TEST FOR SECONDARY SCHOOLS IN THE SOUTH:
NAME ___________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
___________________
(if longer, please continue on separate sheet)
SCHOOL____________________
DADDY'S COMPANY___________
1. Julian smashes up the old man's car, causing x amount of damage and killing three people. The old man asks his local TD to intervene in the
court system, then forges his insurance claim and receives a payment of y. The difference between x and y is three times the life insurance
settlement for the three dead people. What kind of car is Julian driving now?
2. Chloe's personal shopper decides to substitute generic and own-brand products for the designer goods favoured by her employer. In the course
of a month she saves the price of a return ticket to Fiji and Chloe doesn't even notice the difference. Is she thick or what?
3. Roly fancies the arse off a certain number of tarts, but he only has enough Rohypnol left to render 33.3% unconscious. If he has 14 Rohypnol, how
is he ever going to shag the other two-thirds?
4. If Savannah throws up four times a day for a week she can fit a size 8 Versace. If she only throws up three times a day for two weeks, she has to
make do with a size 10 Dolce et Gabbana. How much does liposuction cost?
5. Alexander is unsure about his sexuality. Three days a week he fancies women. On the other days he fancies men, ducks and vacuum cleaners. However
he only has access to the Hoover every third week. When does his Sunday Independent column start?
PLEASE NOTE! All comments made by this person are to be considered "Tongue in Cheek" and are not meant to be taken seriously in any way - so there!
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