Scotty
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| posted on 11/11/05 at 08:50 AM |
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Exam Question
The following is an actual question given on University of Liverpool Chemistry finals. The answer by one student was so "profound" that
the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some
variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not
a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my freshman year that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and
take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic and has already
frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct...leaving only
Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being - which explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".
[Edited on 11/11/05 by Scotty]
PLEASE NOTE! All comments made by this person are to be considered "Tongue in Cheek" and are not meant to be taken seriously in any way - so there!
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flak monkey
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| posted on 11/11/05 at 08:56 AM |
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Sera
http://www.motosera.com
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donut
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| posted on 11/11/05 at 10:34 AM |
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I would have written
'There is no Hell'
And if i failed that question i would get the examiner to prove that there is!
Andy
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/andywest1/
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omega 24 v6
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| posted on 11/11/05 at 12:39 PM |
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That is fecking brilliant just psml and now I'm going to forward it to all my mates who will equally ptsl.
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Hellfire
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| posted on 11/11/05 at 03:01 PM |
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Simply CLASS - no other word for it IMHO!!!
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geoff shep
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| posted on 15/11/05 at 08:53 PM |
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Snopes
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