RazMan
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| posted on 17/5/06 at 03:02 PM |
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Rules for SWMBO's
We always hear "the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1 A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as cricket, the offside rule or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh
Cheers,
Raz
When thinking outside the box doesn't work any more, it's time to build a new box
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graememk
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| posted on 19/5/06 at 01:50 PM |
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it is so true, i'm going to print it out.
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iank
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| posted on 19/5/06 at 02:09 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by graememk
it is so true, i'm going to print it out.
Dead man walking...
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Marlon
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| posted on 20/5/06 at 05:42 PM |
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printed and stuck to the fridge door!
Band Anyone?
Linky to SWMBO 's band
Linky to Brother in laws band
MKoc 1081
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ned
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| posted on 20/5/06 at 06:38 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by RazMan
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes
typical example just 30 secs ago: swmbo is going out tonight and doesn't know whether to wear her new shoes she bought today (she has at least
40 pairs!) as one of her friends has also bought the exact same shoes.
My responses to her dilemma:
a.)wear them anyway it doesn't matter
b.)ring your friend and ask her if she's wearing hers tongiht
the response from swmbo:
well you're no help are you!
what more can you do.
Ned.
beware, I've got yellow skin
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Marlon
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| posted on 20/5/06 at 11:22 PM |
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typical woman 4 u! 
Band Anyone?
Linky to SWMBO 's band
Linky to Brother in laws band
MKoc 1081
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