How not to defend a speeding ticket
A motorcycle officer stops a man for running a red light. The guy is a
real jerk and comes running back to the motor officer. The violator
demands to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo! So the
officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist
instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual
orientation, etc., in rather explicit terms. The officer, being a
professional, takes it all in stride.
The tirade goes on without the cop saying anything. When he gets done
with writing the citation he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of
the narrative portion of the citation. He then hands it to the
violator for his signature.
The guy signs the cite angrily, tearing the paper, and when presented
his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for.
The officer then removes his mirror sunglasses, get in the middle of
the guys face and say, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember
you're an Ars*hole!"
Three months later they are in court. The violator has such a bad
record he's about to lose his license and has hired an attorney to
represent him. On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man
run the red light. Under cross examination the defense attorney asks:
"Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the citation you issued my
client?"
Officer responds: "Yes sir, this is the defendants copy, his signature
and mine, same number at the top. "
Attorney: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this
citation you don't normally make?"
Officer: "Yes sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is
an 'AH', underlined.
Attorney: "What does the AH stand for, officer?"
Officer: "'Aggressive" and 'Hostile', Sir"
Attorney: "'Aggressive' and 'Hostile'"
Officer: "Yes Sir."
Attorney: "Officer,,, are you sure it doesn't stand for Ars*hole?"
Officer: "Well Sir, you know your client better than I do!"
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Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
Anonymous
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