iank
|
 posted on 13/9/07 at 10:47 PM |
|
|
How to get banned from shopping with SWMBO
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany
her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and
preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was
like most women--she loved to browse.
One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton:
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion
in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban
both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed
below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute
intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's
restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
"Code 3 in Housewares - get on it right away."
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's
on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from
the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying
and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror
while he picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked
the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming
the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look"
by using different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed
a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least,
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
Regards,
Wal-Mart
--
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
Anonymous
|
|
|
|
|
Confused but excited.
|
| posted on 13/9/07 at 11:35 PM |
|
|
"10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked
the clerk where the antidepressants were. "
SOLID GOLD! 
Tell them about the bent treacle edges!
|
|
|
AndyH
|
| posted on 19/9/07 at 07:55 PM |
|
|
15. A killer, cant stop laffin.
|
|
|
Mark H
|
| posted on 27/9/07 at 02:47 PM |
|
|
Reminds me of my 10 yr old son whilst on a trip to Ikea (we were buying bedroom furniture).
To relieve his boredom, he hid in a wardrobe for about 10 minutes. A couple opened the door to look inside the wardrobe.
He calmly walked out, said thanks and left. They jumped out of their skin and we were peeing ourselves.
Kids...!
Mark Harrison and
Q986 KCP back from the dead...
|
|
|
02GF74
|
| posted on 28/9/07 at 01:37 PM |
|
|
funny it may be, or at least when seen for the first not the fifteenth time but sadly none of it is ture.
just like that mars thing, exploding donut tin and other urban myths - there is a webstie with these and much more.
|
|
|
JoelP
|
| posted on 28/9/07 at 04:07 PM |
|
|
of course its not true, it would be ridiculous to assume any of that stuff happened. Round here, we would call it a 'gag'.  or maybe a
joke!
|
|
|
