clairetoo
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 posted on 20/1/11 at 04:55 PM |
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Being British.......
Being British . . .
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish
kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a
Japanese TV.
And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!
Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the
back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a
DIET coke.
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the
counters.
Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and
lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have
call waiting so we won ' t miss a call from someone we didn ' t want to
talk to in the first place.
Its cuz I is blond , innit
Claire xx
Will weld for food......
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loggyboy
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| posted on 20/1/11 at 05:12 PM |
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LOL
however, apart from the first sentence, the rest could be applied to pretty much any western country.
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speedyxjs
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| posted on 20/1/11 at 05:33 PM |
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How long can i resist the temptation to drop a V8 in?
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Strontium Dog
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| posted on 20/1/11 at 05:43 PM |
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Yep, that sounds about right. Lol!
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David Jenkins
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| posted on 20/1/11 at 06:54 PM |
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Pretty much on-target...
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balidey
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| posted on 20/1/11 at 07:41 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by clairetoo
Being British is about driving in a German car
Not something I aspire to, they are driven by knobs.
quote:
Originally posted by clairetoo
to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer
Err, not me as I have and want to keep my front teeth.
quote:
Originally posted by clairetoo
then travelling home
Advocating drink driving? Not likely.
quote:
Originally posted by clairetoo
grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish
kebab on the way
Indian food = Red slop, or yellow slop.... with rice. Would rather have good old (British) fish n chips.
quote:
Originally posted by clairetoo
to sit on Swedish furniture
Expensive, flimsy, bland Ikea ?
quote:
Originally posted by clairetoo
and watch American shows
Or stab my eyes out with a spoon? Oxymoron.... American Comedy.
quote:
Originally posted by clairetoo
on a Japanese TV.
If the far east hadn't shafted our manufacturing industry maybe we wouldn't be left with.... Japanese TV or no TV.
OK, so the original list was written to sound a bit funny and portray us as hating outsiders.... yet happily using their products which makes us seem
two faced. But in all honesty, I would rather.....
Get into my Lotus Elise, drive to the chippy (forget the pub as its full of chavs) and sod the TV as there's bugger all on anyway.
Dutch bears have terrible skin due to their clogged paws
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scootz
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| posted on 20/1/11 at 07:44 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by balidey
If the far east hadn't shafted our manufacturing industry...
I thought we did that ourselves in the 80's!
*COUGH*Maggie*COUGH*
It's Evolution Baby!
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Strontium Dog
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| posted on 20/1/11 at 08:11 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by scootz
quote:
Originally posted by balidey
If the far east hadn't shafted our manufacturing industry...
I thought we did that ourselves in the 80's!
*COUGH*Maggie*COUGH*
Evil incarnate, best not to mention her name three times I reckon!
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designer
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| posted on 20/1/11 at 08:45 PM |
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The Race
A British company and a Japanese company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Thames.
When the race took place the Japanese won by a mile.
The British company, discouraged by this loss, decided that the reason for this crushing defeat had to be found. A project team was set up to
investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate action. The project team concluded that the Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person
steering, whereas the British team had one person rowing and eight steering.
Senior management immediately hired a consultancy to do a study of the British team structure. Millions of pounds and several months later they
concluded that too many people were steering and not enough rowing.
In order to beat the Japanese the team structure was changed to four Steering Managers. three Senior Steering Managers, an Executive Steering Manager
and a Rower. A performance and appraisal system was set up to give the rower an incentive to work harder and to become a key performer.
In the next race the Japanese won by two miles.
As a result of another defeat the British company laid off the rower for poor performance, sold all the oars, cancelled all capital investment, halted
development of a new boat, gave high performance awards to the consultants and distributed the money saved to Senior Management.
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whitestu
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| posted on 20/1/11 at 09:11 PM |
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That would be funny if it wasn't true!
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Peteff
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| posted on 20/1/11 at 11:30 PM |
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My telly is Korean I don't have Murdoch's curse on it though even though he is only Australian.
[Edited on 20/1/11 by Peteff]
yours, Pete
I went into the RSPCA office the other day. It was so small you could hardly swing a cat in there.
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Simon
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| posted on 20/1/11 at 11:56 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by scootz
quote:
Originally posted by balidey
If the far east hadn't shafted our manufacturing industry...
I thought we did that ourselves in the 80's!
*COUGH*Maggie*COUGH*
Well that's crap. Think you'll find it was a mix of unions and bad management. I'm sure I mentioned before, an uncle of mine worked
for a big bakery in Liverpool. The union pulled them out on strike. Management shut the factory. No jobs whatsoever left. People need to understand
that there is a finite amount of money in most businesses and most of the profits (like most of the risks) go to those that have the biggest interest
- the shareholder or business owners (who after all, started the business with their own money and skill). As I heard on the radio today, someone was
being showed around on their first day at work and was told "If you can't manage on the money, don't worry, we'll find someone
who can".
Maggie may have closed the pits, but bear in mind these were state run and part of the civil service effectively, therefore subsidized by private
sector and as happens in a free market, if the government can get it cheaper from abroad, surely it is duty bound to do so. After all, I bet you
bought a chinese toaster for a tenner rather than a UK made one for fifty quid. If you are so critical of Maggie doing that, why don't I hear
you whining that Gordo and Bliar did nothing to save MG Rover. And don't come up with the EU wouldn't allow it.
And while we're at it, who taxed my pension! Which I now won't bother with, cos Gordo nicked it.
ATB
Simon
[Edited on 20/1/11 by Simon]
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marcjagman
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| posted on 21/1/11 at 12:06 AM |
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That's all well and good, and mostly true on all counts, but I'm English not British, there is a bit of difference.
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Madinventions
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| posted on 21/1/11 at 12:59 AM |
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Blokes in sheds tinkering with oily car parts? Sounds English enough to me.
Mojo build diary: http://www.madinventions.co.uk
Solo music project: Syrrenfor http://www.reverbnation.com/syrrenfor
View my band website:
http://www.shadowlight.org.uk
http://www.eastangliankitcars.co.uk/
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whitestu
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| posted on 21/1/11 at 08:15 AM |
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quote:
Maggie may have closed the pits, but bear in mind these were state run and part of the civil service effectively, therefore subsidized by private
sector and as happens in a free market, if the government can get it cheaper from abroad, surely it is duty bound to do so.
If you believe that then you don't have a good understanding of the miners strike. Maggie's actions were nothing to do with economics.
Stu
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mcerd1
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| posted on 21/1/11 at 09:16 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by scootz
quote:
Originally posted by balidey
If the far east hadn't shafted our manufacturing industry...
I thought we did that ourselves in the 80's!
I recon we started down that path in the 40's and by the 70's it was already too late to do much about it 
(never mind 'her who shall not be named' )
[Edited on 21/1/2011 by mcerd1]
-
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Ninehigh
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| posted on 21/1/11 at 09:52 AM |
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What's a pension?
I would buy the £50 British toaster, provided it is of a better build quality than the chinese version. I'd happily pay double what most items
are going for now on the basis that they actually last a long time and don't break within a year.
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scootz
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| posted on 21/1/11 at 10:17 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Simon
quote:
Originally posted by scootz
quote:
Originally posted by balidey
If the far east hadn't shafted our manufacturing industry...
I thought we did that ourselves in the 80's!
*COUGH*Maggie*COUGH*
After all, I bet you bought a chinese toaster for a tenner rather than a UK made one for fifty quid...
Hmmm.... try searching the words 'scootz' 'china' and 'chinese' on this site. You might find you're just a
little bit wrong!
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pewe
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| posted on 21/1/11 at 12:50 PM |
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Whitestu ^^ it had everything to do with economics.
If you are old enough to remember it Thatcher set out to break the Unions (I still have a newspaper cutting from
1978 predicting that one of the Nationalised industries would be an in-coming Tory governments target to break the Unions
and more interestingly predicting, correctly, how they would go about it).
Why? Because there was virtual anarchy created by the Unions in many industries - coal, car, engineering in general etc. etc.
Longbridge (BMC) spent more time out on strike in the late 60's, early 70's than they did actually working.
Even when they were working their level of production and quality of product was pitiful.
I worked on a day job (8.00-4.00) with a guy who also worked full-time on the night-shift at Longbridge.
How? Because they clocked on, did an hours work, kipped down for 6 hours, breakfast, then an hour's work, go home & were paid
for a full shift thanks to their Union.
Management were too weak, incapable, ineffective and generally lilly-livered to halt that cycle so it took someone like Thatcher to break it.
The inevitability was that the Japanese/Chinese could take our markets because British industry had rested on its laurels too long.
Thatcher gave British manufacturing a wake-up call, albeit too late for most.
Who's fault was it? The likes of Red Robbo, Arthur Scargill and other Communists/Marxists (call them what you like they were all as Red as they
come)
who in those days actively and cynically strove to bring down the capitalist system.
Sits back and waits for the on-slaught.......
Cheers, Pewe 
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blakep82
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| posted on 21/1/11 at 12:58 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by balidey
I would rather.....
Get into my Lotus Elise
malaysian then...
________________________
IVA manual link http://www.businesslink.gov.uk/bdotg/action/detail?type=RESOURCES&itemId=1081997083
don't write OT on a new thread title, you're creating the topic, everything you write is very much ON topic!
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balidey
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| posted on 21/1/11 at 01:03 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by blakep82
quote:
Originally posted by balidey
I would rather.....
Get into my Lotus Elise
malaysian then...
Damn. Nearly made me choke on my Danish Bacon sandwich
Dutch bears have terrible skin due to their clogged paws
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blakep82
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| posted on 21/1/11 at 01:12 PM |
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with british HP sauce, or american ketchup?
what am i saying, they're both Heinz now aren't they?
________________________
IVA manual link http://www.businesslink.gov.uk/bdotg/action/detail?type=RESOURCES&itemId=1081997083
don't write OT on a new thread title, you're creating the topic, everything you write is very much ON topic!
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flange nut
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| posted on 21/1/11 at 01:15 PM |
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HP sauce is now manufactured in the Netherlands.
Geoff
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whitestu
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| posted on 21/1/11 at 09:09 PM |
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quote:
Whitestu ^^ it had everything to do with economics.
If you are old enough to remember it Thatcher set out to break the Unions (I still have a newspaper cutting from
1978 predicting that one of the Nationalised industries would be an in-coming Tory governments target to break the Unions
and more interestingly predicting, correctly, how they would go about it).
Why? Because there was virtual anarchy created by the Unions in many industries - coal, car, engineering in general etc. etc.
Longbridge (BMC) spent more time out on strike in the late 60's, early 70's than they did actually working.
Even when they were working their level of production and quality of product was pitiful.
I worked on a day job (8.00-4.00) with a guy who also worked full-time on the night-shift at Longbridge.
How? Because they clocked on, did an hours work, kipped down for 6 hours, breakfast, then an hour's work, go home & were paid
for a full shift thanks to their Union.
Management were too weak, incapable, ineffective and generally lilly-livered to halt that cycle so it took someone like Thatcher to break it.
The inevitability was that the Japanese/Chinese could take our markets because British industry had rested on its laurels too long.
Thatcher gave British manufacturing a wake-up call, albeit too late for most.
Who's fault was it? The likes of Red Robbo, Arthur Scargill and other Communists/Marxists (call them what you like they were all as Red as they
come)
who in those days actively and cynically strove to bring down the capitalist system.
Sits back and waits for the on-slaught.......
Cheers, Pewe
I don't disagree with a lotof what you have said, but what was needed was some proper management that got the workers onside, not the closing of
places that were highly profitable because the PM didn't like the politics of the union leaders [neither did most of the people who worked
there]. The Thatcher government were so unbelivably short sighted it beggars belief. The marginalisation of the unions could have been done in a way
that didn't destroy the industries operated in.
I used to work in the mining industry in a pit that produced low cost quality coal [cheaper than imported coal if you took the subsidy the companies
importing to the UK received]. It was closed solely beacuse Thatcher wanted rid of the miners
Stu
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pewe
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| posted on 23/1/11 at 04:06 PM |
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Whitestu ^^, similarly I don't disagree with you on Thatcher being short-sighted. In her singular drive to rid industry of viperous union
leadership
she lost sight of the fact that there were decent, hard-working people who would become casualties of her action.
Management were also guilty of being complicit in that they didn't have the balls or will to stand up to A Scargill and his cohorts.
Benefit of hind-sight says it could have been handled better all round but something had to halt the drift towards anarchy.
Interestingly enough TV programme today mentioned a WW2 bunker at Naezing, Essex which they were in the process of
re-opening during the Miners' Strike as they feared Civil War!
Cheers, Pewe
PS Sorry for the hi-jack Clairetoo.
[Edited on 24/1/11 by pewe]
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