Peteff
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posted on 2/6/05 at 08:47 AM |
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Some silly stuff.
1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first
replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you but don't start anything."
4. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."
5. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
6. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
8. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?" "It's Not Unusual."
9. Two cows standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I
don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
10. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
11. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there any thing you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "Why?? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because
he's really heavy."
13. Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my
mom or my dad or maybe my older brother Calvin or my younger brother Ho-Chin. But I'm pretty sure it's Calvin.
14. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
15. I went to the butcher's the other day and bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the
steaks are too high."
16. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied,
"I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
17. I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.
18. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving that you can't have your kayak and heat
it as well.
19. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
20. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
yours, Pete
I went into the RSPCA office the other day. It was so small you could hardly swing a cat in there.
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flak monkey
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posted on 2/6/05 at 09:08 AM |
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So bad....yet still raise a
Sera
http://www.motosera.com
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Peteff
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posted on 2/6/05 at 10:24 AM |
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A little quiz as well
http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz/
Can you tell a geek from a serial killer?
yours, Pete
I went into the RSPCA office the other day. It was so small you could hardly swing a cat in there.
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omega 24 v6
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posted on 2/6/05 at 11:22 AM |
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5 out of ten for me so i've a 50/50 chance of getting killed by a computer repair man or woman
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flak monkey
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posted on 2/6/05 at 11:29 AM |
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7/10...
Sera
http://www.motosera.com
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scoobyis2cool
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posted on 2/6/05 at 12:02 PM |
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It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care...
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timf
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posted on 2/6/05 at 12:39 PM |
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9/10
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DarrenW
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posted on 2/6/05 at 12:44 PM |
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9 / 10
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chris.russell
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posted on 2/6/05 at 01:53 PM |
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only 6/10
Mines a pint
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locogeoff
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posted on 2/6/05 at 05:07 PM |
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7/10 and mistook softies for nutters better than the other way around, and not too far from reality
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