r1_pete
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| posted on 17/12/08 at 02:46 PM |
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Even Santa has bad days
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the
Pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven
knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all
the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over
the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me
to stick it?'
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
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dmac
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| posted on 17/12/08 at 08:51 PM |
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Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and it was shortly before Christmas when the FAA examiner
arrived.
In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in
order.
The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He check the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolf's nose. He painstakingly reviewed
Santa's weight and balance calculations for sled's enormous payload.
Finally, they were ready for the checkride. Santa got in and fastened his seatbelt and shoulder harness and checked the compass. Then the examiner
hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.
"What's that for?" asked Santa incredulously.
The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."
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clairetoo
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| posted on 17/12/08 at 09:12 PM |
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Its cuz I is blond , innit
Claire xx
Will weld for food......
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