steve m
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| posted on 6/6/12 at 10:28 PM |
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Family life problem
So,
Im married, and have a Daughter Sarah, who lives just with her two kids, first is Reece, 11yr old and his Dad, see's him at least once a week,
and somtimes more, and Willow who is 2, and!
Willow is besoted with me, cant leave me alone, crys, a lot, as wants me round her house, rings me up (mum is there)
When i get round to her house, she is so happy, and so pleased to see me, spends all her time cuddling and kissing me, yet once i leave crys and
really wants me there
She calls me Dandad (Grandad) but my wife and i really believe, she has me down as her father, (i am not!!!) her father pissed off when he heard Sarah
was pregnant
I love Willow so much, and enjoy cuddling a lovley 2 yr old baby girl, but i am concerned that she has me "in her brain" as her father
What do i do????
why i am posting this on a car forum, i do not know !!!!!
Steve, (Dandad)
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maccmike
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| posted on 6/6/12 at 10:36 PM |
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just carry on, she'll soon understand family tiers and put grannies together, parents together, sisters and brothers etc. enjoy the bond
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Ben_Copeland
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| posted on 6/6/12 at 10:38 PM |
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She's only 2, she doesnt understand. When shes older, she will understand who grandad is and who her dad is or should be.
My son whos nearly 4 loves his grandparents and wants to sleep round theirs when we go visit (they are only 10 mins away), which he does most
times.
I dont see the need to do anything, especially if it means upsetting a 2 year old who already doesnt have a dad, why limit her grandad too?
Ben
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omega 24 v6
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| posted on 6/6/12 at 10:43 PM |
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Don't worry to much about it. It's nice to be needed and loved. i never thought I'd feel the way I do being the
"Grandpa" or as he says "Bampa".
it'll work itself out.
If it looks wrong it probably is wrong.
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steve m
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| posted on 6/6/12 at 10:45 PM |
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Thanks Guys
I appreciate your help!
Steve
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owelly
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| posted on 6/6/12 at 10:58 PM |
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Feed as many cuddles as she needs. Also consider how it could be making your daughter feel too so she'll need a hug or two.
My grandparents brought me up for most of my life but I always knew who my Mam was and I also knew where my dad wasn't.
Be there as much as you can. Good luck.
http://www.ppcmag.co.uk
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pekwah1
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| posted on 7/6/12 at 05:19 AM |
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Alright steve,
difficult situation i'm sure, if it helps at all i have two young kids (4 & 5) but they both live with their mum.
I used to see them every week but has changed to every fortnight now.
Anyway, i know it's not exactly the same but my two both love the gramps, and i may well have had similar things going on.
Give me a call sometime if you fancy a chat, may be able to help?!
Anyway, as a short answer i would try not to play to it, i.e. don't go running every time, i think this could lead to bad habits and as soon as
a kid gets want they want from crying, they usually just do it more! But don't avoid them, just try to not go running just to appease
them...
ANyway, give me a call sometime if u want a chat, or come round and have a beer!
all the best,
andy
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DavidW
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| posted on 7/6/12 at 07:01 AM |
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As others have pretty much said it doesn't matter who it is that loves them, just that they have lots of love. The fact the you're really
worrying about it means you care enough to be ideal for the job.
My kids have have grandparents and step grandparents all treated the same. I did wonder if it mattered but it I really don't think it does at
all.
When I look at the kids at the school where I'm a governor, there are very many nice normal children with what might be considered
unconventional families.
HTH
David
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scootz
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| posted on 7/6/12 at 08:00 AM |
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I also agree that she will work out in time who is who... it's not important right now!
She loves her Dandad and her Dandad loves her... that's all that matter! 
It's Evolution Baby!
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Daddylonglegs
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| posted on 7/6/12 at 08:28 AM |
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Pretty much agree with everyone else on here. There's too many kids who don't get enough love early on, and we know what they can turn out
like!
I'm also with pekwah1 though, try and temper the little one's needs with the possibility of developing bad habits as he says. It's
always difficult to find a happy medium but all will level out as she gets older I'm sure. Just enjoy the fact that she wants you around, my
first Grandchild is a star, and I can't wait for the other kids to 'produce' 
Good luck 'Dandad' 
It looks like the Midget is winning at the moment......
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blakep82
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| posted on 7/6/12 at 11:14 AM |
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my gf was 22 when her mum announced she was pregnant again... when baby was born, her mum and dad kinda went off the rails a bit, and was basically
down to my gf to look after the baby. when the baby was 2 or 3, started calling my gf 'mum'
but of course now shes older, she knows who's who. and if willow calls you grandad, that saves any awkward conversations with strangers,
she'll grow up to know who's who. don't worry too much, but just be the aweosme grandad you've always been to her
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ditchlewis
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| posted on 7/6/12 at 12:45 PM |
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she is very young and because she has no male figure living with her she has formed an attachement with you, enjoy it.
my eldest step son came home at christmas and told us his girlfriend was pregnant and was due in march. She has 2 other girls 2.5 years 1.5 years and
they were stopped seeing their dad because of his abusive nature. they have formed strong bonds with Jake (our eldest) and now with my wife and I.
we enjoy their company and we treat all three girls the same (our grand daughter and her two half sisters) and alwas will.
my own son who is 19 lives on his own and wont talk to me at all - dont know why and after 5 years not bothered why- BUT he has a good relationship
with his grand parents and gets what he needs from them so if that attachement works for him so be it. i always remember my grandad and at times felt
closer to him than i did my parents.
the feelings you have are natural so enjoy your relationship with your grand daughter and be that steadfast male role model she needs and remember
unlike your own kids you can hand them back when the nappy needs changing.
ditch
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TheGiantTribble
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| posted on 7/6/12 at 01:59 PM |
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How can I put this, it doesn't matter what she thinks (in her mind) your relationship is, what matters is your family, and you love each other
and care for each other, as too anything else as she gets older she'll gain understanding, which she will do better with people who can love and
give support around her.
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zilspeed
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| posted on 7/6/12 at 05:05 PM |
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Stability is all that matters.
Covention matters not a jot.
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steve m
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| posted on 7/6/12 at 06:51 PM |
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Thanks, guys, again i appreciate the positive vibes
It must be very hard for a kid to grow up with out a parent, or someone who cares
I also have a stepson, who is 37 this year ! who calls me dad, and we get on quite well, to the extent that when his real father contacted him when he
was about 17/18, stepson wasnt interested, and still is not, as i am his dad, but not his father
Thanks
Steve
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