Dead Duck joke
>A woman brought a very limp duck in to a veterinary surgeon. As she lay
>her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened
>to the bird's chest.
>
>After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so
>sorry, your duck has passed away."
>
>The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"
>
>"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.
>
>"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any
>testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
>
>The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned
>a few moments later with a black Labrador retriever. As the duck's
>owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
>front paws on the examination table, and sniffed the duck from top to
>bottom.
>
>He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
>
>The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments
>later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at
>the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its
>head,
>meowed softly, and strolled out of the room.
>
>The vet looked at the woman and said,
>"I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100 percent
>certifiably, a dead duck."
>
>Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
>produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still
>in shock, took the bill. "£150?" she cried, "£150 just to tell me my duck
>is dead?!"
>
>The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill
>would have been £20, but with the Lab report and the Cat scan, it's now
>£150."
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