SAS v PARAS v POLICE (Oldie, but Goody)
The SAS, the Parachute Regiment and the Police decide to go on a survival weekend together to see who comes out on top.
After some basic exercises the trainer tells them that their next objective is to go down into the woods and catch a rabbit, eturning with it ready to
skin and
cook. Night falls.
First up - the SAS. They don infrared goggles, drop to the ground and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for 5 minutes, followed by
the unmistakable muffled "phut-phut" of their trademark silenced "double-tap". They emerge with a large rabbit shot cleanly
between the eyes.
"Excellent!" remarks the trainer.
Next up - the Para 's. They finish their cans of lager, smear themselves with camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge down into the woods,
screaming at the top of their lungs. For the next hour the woods ring with the sound of rifle and machine-gun fire, hand grenades, mortar bombs and
blood curdling war cries. Eventually they merge, carrying the charred remains of a rabbit.
"A bit messy, but you achieved the aim; well done", says the trainer.
Lastly, in go the Coppers, walking slowly, hands behind backs. For the next few hours, the silence is only broken by the occasional crackle of a
walkie-talkie "Sierra Lima Whisky Tango One, suspect headed straight for you..." etc.
After what seems an eternity, they emerge escorting a squirrel in handcuffs.
"What the hell do you think you are doing?" asks the incredulous trainer, "Take this squirrel back and get me a rabbit like I asked
you five hours ago!".
So back they go. Minutes pass. Minutes turn to hours, night drags on and turns to day. The next morning, the trainer and the other teams are awakened
by the police, holding the handcuffed squirrel, now covered in bruises, one eye nearly shut.
"Are you taking the p*ss!!??" asks the now seriously irate trainer.
The police team leader nudges the squirrel, who squeaks: "Alright, alright, I'm a f*cking rabbit!".
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