scootz
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| posted on 7/6/08 at 10:36 AM |
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Visit from Jehova's Witnesses
Just had a visit from a pair of Jehovah's witnesses... a very pretty young lady and her cutie-pie little sister (big smile and missing teeth).
Clever marketing, or what?
I get so pissed off with adults using youngsters to 'sell' something to strangers. Obviously no-one gives a damn about their safety- this
is a rural setting and they're being told to wander from house to house talking to strangers... 
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MikeRJ
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| posted on 7/6/08 at 10:56 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by scootz
Just had a visit from a pair of Jehovah's witnesses... a very pretty young lady and her cutie-pie little sister (big smile and missing teeth).
Clever marketing, or what?
Yep, some years ago I got a call from a pair of absolute stunners who turned out to be Jehovahs Witnesses.
Very cynical marketing for a so called "religion", but I suspect it pulls a few blokes in. Wonder if they are on commission...
[Edited on 7/6/08 by MikeRJ]
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LBMEFM
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| posted on 7/6/08 at 11:09 AM |
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The only Jeho I have had call was a 45 year old man who looked as if he needed a bath (mind you he did have a pretty daughter with him come to think
of it). Useful though, turns out he was a window cleaner, so instead of pestering me, he now cleans my windows.
Barry
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worX
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| posted on 7/6/08 at 11:52 AM |
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I too have been visted by a pair of females! One roughly 55 - 60 years old and the other around 21 ish.
I was on the phone to Welderman at the time so I couldn't possibly let them in, no matter how much he told me too  (well one of them
anyway  )
Steve
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Fred W B
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| posted on 7/6/08 at 12:27 PM |
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An opening for my favourite joke....
What do you get if you cross a Hell's angle with a Jehova's Witness?........
Someone who knocks on your door and tells YOU to f**k off.
Cheers
Fred W B
r
You can do it quickly. You can do it cheap. You can do it right. – Pick any two.
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owelly
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| posted on 7/6/08 at 01:05 PM |
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I recall a vist from such folks several years ago. I was on my back, laid in oily gravel, trying to fit a new subframe mounting to my Minivan.
They waffled on for about 20 minutes whilst I got more piffed-off at my stupid car. Eventually I enquired "Am I bothering you?"
They both looked at each other and said "Not at all son"
So I said "Well feck off and stop bothering me!!"
http://www.ppcmag.co.uk
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eznfrank
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| posted on 7/6/08 at 02:16 PM |
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A woman came and knocked on my door with a big basket full of bread - bloody hovis witnesses.
Joking aside - my missus was brought up as a witness and her parents still are, as is my colleague at work, so know quite a bit about it and I just
think it's one of the most messed up religions going, only a scratch away from being a cult as far as I'm concerned. A load of weird
rules based on square pegs fitting round holes. Most sickening is their apparent treatement of molested children and protection of the molestor as
talked about in detail on silentlambs.org.
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dave1888
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| posted on 7/6/08 at 02:54 PM |
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I had two of them at my door last week asking if they could come in and watch me washing my hair......... they where jojoba witnesses
coats on.
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RK
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| posted on 7/6/08 at 03:01 PM |
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It's dangerous to talk too much about religion on a forum like this, because somebody is bound to get upset. I know they are brainwashed lambs,
but I think if you can get them on your side, as LB... did with the window washing, it works out for everyone; the JW will try to sell you constantly
on his religion and as such does a good job on the windows. Double points if they're pretty girls.Win, win. Especially if it gets the neighbours
talking!
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Volvorsport
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| posted on 7/6/08 at 03:05 PM |
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just tell em your a mormon .!
works for me .
only one time in swansea i was watching wales v engand , 3pm , nock on door (definitely not a welshman at that time) ,err sir can we interset you in
the name of god , no im a mormon , oh really ..... you get the story .
i missed 15 mins of the game before i said i needed to go get my pint of guiness !!
anyway , the thing that really bothers me about jehovahs is how can they believe all teh dead people are going to rise up ....
www.dbsmotorsport.co.uk
getting dirty under a bus
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scotty g
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| posted on 7/6/08 at 03:31 PM |
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We had one come and start work with us a few years back and we just saw it as a challenge.
it took us less than 6 months to have him binge drinking on the weekends, swearing like a pro and letching at women. Our work was done!
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Peteff
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| posted on 7/6/08 at 04:23 PM |
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There's a nest of them just down the street from us so their visitors try a few doors on the street now and then to try and get a response.
Their latest tactic is to tell you that they are Jehovas' Witnesses as soon as you answer the door, which they never used to do, so as soon as
they announced "Hello we're Jehovas' Witnesses" I just said, "has there been an accident then, I didn't see
anything" and shut the door.
yours, Pete
I went into the RSPCA office the other day. It was so small you could hardly swing a cat in there.
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BenB
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| posted on 7/6/08 at 04:41 PM |
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I had a little conversation with a Jehova's witness the other day. I foolishly sat down on the only unoccupied seat on the train (other people
where standing). Shortly afterwards I found out why people where standing....
He discovered I'd had a bad day....
JW: "Good evening Sir"
me: "Evening"
JW: "Are you having a good day?"
me: "I was, yes" (I lied....)
JW: "Do you believe in God?"
me: "I believe in something, I wouldn't call it God, and I'm pretty certain it isn't your God"
JW: "There is only one God"
me: "That's what all religeons say, if they're wrong about that, what else are they wrong about?"
JW: "But God speaks to people so he must be real"
me: "Some of my patients have conversations with Elvis but I don't think he's alive or the son of God. Then again, a lot of people
think that's he is alive despite having a really quite high profile burial... And quite how he squeezed into those jump-suits in his last show
at Vegas was quite a miracle"
JW: "But you've got to believe!!"
me: "Yes, I suppose you have to believe because if you try to rationalise it there's no evidence God exists".
JW: "You have to be on the right path. It's like driving- you have to take the right road"
me: "What happens if I prefer taking the train though?"
JW: "You'll still end up in the wrong place. It's like heading for Luton and ending up in Paris"
me: "So if I become a believer, I'll end up in Luton all the time, whereas if I don't believe I'll end up in lots of rather
more interesting places, and what's more why would I want to go to Luton every day for the rest of my life"
JW: "But maybe God wants you to go to Luton"
me: "When then I'm f@cked because this train doesn't go to Luton, it goes to Richmond"
JW: "You have to find your own way, but there's only one right road"
me: "What about if I fly to Paris, then fly back to London and take the Thameslink to Luton?".
JW: "I think you're getting confused"
me: "Is accomodation included on the trip to Paris?"
JW: "We're getting off the point...."
me: "I sometimes hear voices telling me which is the right road to take"
JW: "Really? It must be God"
me: "See, we must have different Gods. Your's is called Jehovah, mine is apparantly called TomTom"
JW: "God is not a SatNav"
me: "No, there's evidence that a SatNav exists, it's a hell of a lot more use when you're in trouble and if I want to change
it to a Garmin I don't get disowned by half my community, labelled a "sinner" and possibly burned at the stake. What's more I
don't get people hassling me on the train home from work trying to get me to switch from one SatNav to another"
Luckily (for him) my stop arrived and I got off
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Hellfire
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| posted on 7/6/08 at 04:53 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by dave1888
I had two of them at my door last week asking if they could come in and watch me washing my hair......... they where jojoba witnesses
coats on.
You dirty git - you could at leaast invite them in before "having them".... 
Steve
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FOZ500
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| posted on 7/6/08 at 05:06 PM |
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Me being a The Big Bang Theory man I had a couple of them come round and knocked on the door so I invited them in “Try it. It really freaks them out”
because I was a bit pissed and we were having a bbq in the garden with my mates and family.
Only one problem my brother in law is a Minster of the Baptist church a very down to earth bloke. We call him Ned Flanders
I think within 2 hours THEY were converted or pissed.
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graememk
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| posted on 7/6/08 at 05:16 PM |
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I was brought up as a catholic and went to a very strict catholic school.
Although I had religious education every day we were taught to lead an honest life to help others and treat others as I wish to be treated
And to be honest that’s what everyone on here does by helping each other out, if it wasn’t for the help of others on this site my car would of never
passed sva
I was taught that the Christian religion was a way of teaching illiterate people 2000 years ago, right from wrong by teaching them stories.
Although, Jesus was Jewish ? and lived in a muslin country and is mentioned in the karan as a martyr.
Personally I think the Christian Bible is a English interpretation of the Karan.
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David Jenkins
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| posted on 7/6/08 at 05:29 PM |
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I used to work with a woman who was a Jehovah's Witness - a pleasant lady who didn't push her religious views at work. When I spoke to
her about it some of their ideas made sense: for example, Christmas and Easter are pagan festivals that were modified by the romans when christianity
came along (Christmas was the mid-winter festival, Easter used to be Eostre - IIRC) so they don't support them. When I asked whether
Jehovah's Witness kids missed out at Christmas, she said that they have REALLY good birthdays as compensation!
Anyway, I hate all organised religion - so many wars and mass murders have been perpetrated in the name of organised religion...
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eznfrank
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| posted on 7/6/08 at 05:55 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by David Jenkins
I used to work with a woman who was a Jehovah's Witness - a pleasant lady who didn't push her religious views at work. When I spoke to
her about it some of their ideas made sense: for example, Christmas and Easter are pagan festivals that were modified by the romans when christianity
came along (Christmas was the mid-winter festival, Easter used to be Eostre - IIRC) so they don't support them. When I asked whether
Jehovah's Witness kids missed out at Christmas, she said that they have REALLY good birthdays as compensation!
Anyway, I hate all organised religion - so many wars and mass murders have been perpetrated in the name of organised religion...
Not sure if you're joking or not but witnesses don't celebrate birthdays? Funny, strictly speaking they shouldn't even use the days
of the week either as they have pagan origins!!
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Paul TigerB6
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| posted on 7/6/08 at 06:19 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Volvorsport
just tell em your a mormon .!
Was gonna post the same - they have maps and colour code them depending on the response you give. Talk to them and show any interest and next time you
get one of their "elders" to try and brainwash you properly. Tell em you are a mormon and you get blacklisted so never bothered again if
they mark their map properly
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zetec7
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| posted on 7/6/08 at 06:23 PM |
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I used to get JW's walking down my long, country driveway to knock on my door (usually, about 6:00 a.m. on Saturdays and Sundays), until I put
up a sign on my fence by the road. The sign says "My dogs can make it from the front door to the gate in 3.5 seconds. Can you?" That,
plus the barking of my Doberman and my Alsatian, seems to have put an end to their uninvited & semi-nocturnal visits...
Now, if I could just figure a way to make this work for phone solicitors...
http://www.freewebs.com/zetec7/
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David Jenkins
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| posted on 7/6/08 at 06:36 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by eznfrank
Not sure if you're joking or not but witnesses don't celebrate birthdays? Funny, strictly speaking they shouldn't even use the days
of the week either as they have pagan origins!!
It's far too easy to tear all these religious beliefs to shreds - it doesn't take too much logic. Sad, really.
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Peteff
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| posted on 7/6/08 at 10:37 PM |
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Watch Calum Gilhooly deal with them. The video quality is crap but listen to the dialogue.
Absolutely at its' best.
yours, Pete
I went into the RSPCA office the other day. It was so small you could hardly swing a cat in there.
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RK
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| posted on 8/6/08 at 02:12 AM |
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To get rid of the phone people just say: "No thank you, and never call here again". It actually works. Until your wife decides that
getting the paper delivered is actually a good idea, then it starts all over again.
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Ferg
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| posted on 8/6/08 at 06:55 AM |
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We have some sort of 'area co-ordinator' next door. When he moved in I made it clear I wasn't interested, but I had a knock on the
door one dark night and there's a local brickie I know standing there:
Me: "Hello Les."
Jehovah' Brickie: "Oh, hello Ferg"
Me: "What can I do for you?"
JB: "Oh, I'm just handing these out." (Offers The Watchtower)
Me: "Sorry Les, I respect people's right to their beliefs, but I'm a blood donor and the idea that people would let their children
die rather than have a transfusion just sickens me."
JB: "Yeah, some people do take it a bit too seriously."
LOL!!!!
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andybod
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| posted on 8/6/08 at 08:01 AM |
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mmmm i'll prepare to be stoned interesting thread this one, my wife and i were brought up as jw's and most of our family are, we were
both baptised into the religion a few years ago and married as witnesses about two years after we got married my wife decided she wanted a break from
the religion and we decided to stop going to the meetings and havn't been back . from my personal experiance as a witness you find some people
can be a bit fanatical trying to preach at every oppotunity my grandmother was like that and it used to p*ss me off a bit my belief was that if
somebody was intersted then they would ask, as for knocking on peoples door's then this is part of the religion and not the only religion to do
this i didn't enjoy knocking on peoples doors but did it and most people were polite and if not interested used to say so as for two ladies
preaching on there own this is very unusual you will normally find there out in group's and other members of the group will be close by . since
we have stopped practising the religion we have found a few members have been funny with us but most are geniune people and still treat us as friends
when we see them we still don't celebrate christmas or birthday's etc but we do frequently buy each other presents and make quite a big
thing of our wedding anniversary . i'll now prepare myself for a public stoning no women or chidren allowed
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