Many of you will be aware of my little spat with a mistaken road rage driver where I stupidly booted the wrong car...only to find he was a high up
manager for a client where I work.
Well I apologised on the spot and agreed to pay to get his nearly new car fixed and quite right too. Now due to my cars distinctive paint scheme he
realised where I worked and instead of exchanging details simply said he would tell my boss and drove off.
However this was not on work time but despite this he preceded to slate me off to all the managers in my company which tbh I feel was quite vindictive
and only intended harm my position at work, fortunately it's unlikely I will loose my job over this but it certainly has harmed my standing in
the company. Had I lost my job this would have been seriously bad for my family.
Now I'm sure there will be plenty of you who will be ha ha you got what you deserve stupid don't be such a nutter next time...
But to put this in context I kicked a car bumper with my shoe... And the guy takes advantage of his position and tries to get me sacked... vindictive
it certainly seems that way.
Just thought I'd get that off my chest..
Already had to sell the family tourer caravan to have money to pay for it...
It might have just been a kick on a bumper, but the fact you stopped your car and got out with what could only have been taken as potentially violent
action was probably enough, not the damage itself.
To be fair, if someone had done that to me and I was an innocent party, I'd probably have also complained to the employer if I happened to be
going to the same place.
It's unfortunate for you, but every action has a consequence, hopefully a lesson learned
Point taken...
I wouldn't have done what he did had the tables been turned though
I thought the idea of "camo" was to blend in!!! Not get noticed. Sorry but I agree with the above, every action has a consequence.
I don't disagree, I damaged his car I pay to get it fixed simple as that, bumped a few cars in my time always made sure they were sorted when it
was my fault.
What's annoying to me it that he took it way further than getting his car sorted and went out his way to harm me through my work just because he
could. He knew right from the start it wasn't directed at him and I'd mistaken the car. Why take it so much further? Like I said seems
vindictive.
Oh and the camo works very well in the right environment, lights on in the wooded countryside...
[Edited on 15/8/17 by Mr Whippy]
quote:
Originally posted by Mr Whippy
Many of you will be aware of my little spat with a mistaken road rage driver where I stupidly booted the wrong car...only to find he was a high up manager for a client where I work.
Well I apologised on the spot and agreed to pay to get his nearly new car fixed and quite right too. Now due to my cars distinctive paint scheme he realised where I worked and instead of exchanging details simply said he would tell my boss and drove off.
However this was not on work time but despite this he preceded to slate me off to all the managers in my company which tbh I feel was quite vindictive and only intended harm my position at work, fortunately it's unlikely I will loose my job over this but it certainly has harmed my standing in the company. Had I lost my job this would have been seriously bad for my family.
Now I'm sure there will be plenty of you who will be ha ha you got what you deserve stupid don't be such a nutter next time...
But to put this in context I kicked a car bumper with my shoe... And the guy takes advantage of his position and tries to get me sacked... vindictive it certainly seems that way.
For me, it's not about the damage to his car. It's not about the mistaken identity. It's about the fact that you lost your rag and
resorted to violence. As a manager, if someone reported one of my employees to me for doing such a thing, in work time or not, to a client, co-worker,
manager, member of the public, etc. they would be getting a bollocking. That person would lose a lot of credibility and an 'enhancement' in
within the company would be in jeopardy. If someone is willing to react to something like that out in public, I wouldn't want them working for
me.
You should be thankful the bloke didn't call the police as things would be a lot worse.
I hope it makes you (and others too!) think before you start a fight!
I hear you...
Funnily enough most folk at work were more suprised than anything as I'm one of the most layed back and calm people there is...I doubt many have
even seen me mildly annoyed at anything
But given the right circumstances anyone can be pushed to do anything, I think two world wars have shown that, doesn't matter how saintly you
think you are.
As Angel says though forgive and forget...it'll be an amusing story for the grandkids one day
Another thing worth thinking about....it was probably mentioned in your initial post: What if the bloke in the other car had jumped out with his mates
and given you a proper kicking? They obviously feared for their lives which is why they retaliated so a judge would struggle to blame them.
If I was the bloke, and I had my kids in the car, there's every chance I would have lost my cool too so I can see where you're coming from
(nobody's perfect). I guess we'll all learn.
I think you should be counting yourself lucky he hasn't gone to the Police tbh?
I've got to say I agree with last post he could have got the police involved and you could have ended up with a criminal record road rage / violence and criminal damage doesn't go down very well with the police and courts these days .
Anger Managment
[Edited on 16/8/17 by shindha]
tbh I'm in awe of all these people who apparently never get angry or lash out, the world would surely be a much better place if we had a lot more of you
Nice sarcasm, I think it's obvious that most of us will lose our cool at some point, but personally if/when that happens I will also generally take responsibility for my own actions and not try to make excuses for it.... again hopefully a lesson learned, realise you did something wrong and face up to it
It's hard to say whether or not the bloke is being vindictive but if I was in your position I would be thinking I got away pretty lightly.
I could be completely wrong but perhaps the original incident and your feeling now that he is being vindictive both point to something in the way you
reaction a situation.
Hope it all blows over.
Stu
I think the take away point here is its not the physical damage to property that's the issue but the psychological damage, an innocent person
feared being attacked in the street, these are scary situations. You reacted, without thinking, showing a potentially violent and uncontrolled
behaviour, and the effect that has on others is first fear and then anger. The natural response is to want the person to be punished in someway that
makes that person feel the fear that they have caused. Like others have said I think you got off lightly, instead of bad mouthing you he could have
persued legal action, there was after all damage caused with intent.
Maybe mindfulness could help you to keep your anger in check and to learn to respond to your own and others actions rather than to react in haste. It
has certainly worked for me.
HTH
There does seem to be a lot of calm rational thinking types on here. You lot should try have a laptop power cable catch a spinning pro-shaft, the
laptop whizzing past your head, the flailing mouse bonking your nose and then exiting through the garage window. Then the neighbour saying 'that
was silly' from over fence. See if you remain calm.
Anyway.....
I go to a lot of meetings and if I was going to a meeting and a irate bloke leaped from his car, booted my car in a rage, damaged it and thoroughly
scared me I probably wouldn't hesitate to mention it to the people I was meeting if the bloke worked there.
quote:
Originally posted by owelly
As a manager, if someone reported one of my employees to me for doing such a thing, in work time or not, to a client, co-worker, manager, member of the public, etc. they would be getting a bollocking. That person would lose a lot of credibility and an 'enhancement' in within the company would be in jeopardy. If someone is willing to react to something like that out in public, I wouldn't want them working for me.
I hope it makes you (and others too!) think before you start a fight!
I stand by what I said and I guess a few of the guys employed by my company have hairy arses but that has very little to do with inappropriate behaviour. They can have a grumble between each other but threatening behaviour? Actual physical damage? Losing control enough to jump out of their car and attack someone?! That's not acceptable.
At the end of the day, the 3rd party to the OP here just happened to be a client of the company he works for.
Yes, this incident occurred outside of work itself, but was during commute.
Did the 3rd person have any right to mention it to the company that the OP works for when he realised he works there?
Yes i believe he did. Also having been a manager of various different teams in my time, i would also want to be aware of things like this.
At the end of the day, if the OP hadn't have gotten out of his car and 'attacked' the 3rd party, there wouldn't have been any
complaint.
There has been a comment that people all go off the rails and handle things maybe not in the best way.
Well i will put it to you that the 3rd party here has maybe also flown off the rails, but then if it's ok for you to do that and kick someones
car, i think we also need to allow someone else to fly off about that and complain to people when he 'shouldn't' (even though i think
he has that right).
I think Mr whippy has fully admitted he should never have done what he did and knows it was wrong. So all the condescending posts of "you're
in the wrong" and "need anger management" aren't really required.
He f**ked up. Knows it. Apologised and offered to put it right. In my mind that would have where it would have ended if it was me you had done it
to.The guy is milking it as he knows he has you by the balls which in my view is vindictive and unnecessary. If the guy was that outraged he would
have called the police. By not doing so he's using a the opportunity to squeeze you for it. I dread to think what the repair bill he's going
to throw out at you.
quote:
Originally posted by sdh2903
I think Mr whippy has fully admitted he should never have done what he did and knows it was wrong. So all the condescending posts of "you're in the wrong" and "need anger management" aren't really required.
He f**ked up. Knows it. Apologised and offered to put it right. In my mind that would have where it would have ended if it was me you had done it to.The guy is milking it as he knows he has you by the balls which in my view is vindictive and unnecessary. If the guy was that outraged he would have called the police. By not doing so he's using a the opportunity to squeeze you for it. I dread to think what the repair bill he's going to throw out at you.
quote:
Originally posted by sdh2903
I think Mr whippy has fully admitted he should never have done what he did and knows it was wrong. So all the condescending posts of "you're in the wrong" and "need anger management" aren't really required.
He f**ked up. Knows it. Apologised and offered to put it right. In my mind that would have where it would have ended if it was me you had done it to.The guy is milking it as he knows he has you by the balls which in my view is vindictive and unnecessary. If the guy was that outraged he would have called the police. By not doing so he's using a the opportunity to squeeze you for it. I dread to think what the repair bill he's going to throw out at you.
And how do we know he actually tried to get him sacked rather than just having a moan at his employer?
No I suppose we don't.
We also don't know exactly what the third party has told Mr Whippy's employer of the events either do we?
IMO it's either serious enough for the third party to involve the Police, or it isn't. As stated, the third party appears to have accepted
the apology and repair of the damage - so end of issue, right?
[Edited on 16/8/17 by nobby_the_sheep]
And that is just what someone has written on an Internet forum... do we know what was actually said between 3rd party and the bosses? Was he really trying to get him sacked? Doesn't matter anyway really because he wasn't sacked, again can't complain on his reaction with OPs reaction of being followed
If any one, was to leap out of their car and kick my car, no matter what or how, I would make their life painful
plus as ive now got rid of the black Bmw, my conscience is clear
I agree with all that has been said but I think best thing to do is right it off as a huge cock up on your part and accept this, your not getting the sack for it and once it is all forgotten about you may look back and think lucky escape there as this could have been a lot worse.
quote:
Originally posted by owelly
For me, it's not about the damage to his car. It's not about the mistaken identity. It's about the fact that you lost your rag and resorted to violence. As a manager, if someone reported one of my employees to me for doing such a thing, in work time or not, to a client, co-worker, manager, member of the public, etc. they would be getting a bollocking. That person would lose a lot of credibility and an 'enhancement' in within the company would be in jeopardy. If someone is willing to react to something like that out in public, I wouldn't want them working for me.
You should be thankful the bloke didn't call the police as things would be a lot worse.
I hope it makes you (and others too!) think before you start a fight!
He may not have been the one you thought he was at first... but he tried to cost you your job! give his car another kick!
On a serious note, id agree with the rest, write it off as a lesson learnt!