paul the 6th
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| posted on 15/8/08 at 12:07 AM |
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I'm opening my heart up to the LCB (a tiny bit)
Relocating - who's done it and how did you cope?
In may I moved from my home town in west yorkshire to York to continue my relationship with the missus. She moved down from middlesbrough to be with
me last year in november. She never really settled and struggled being so far away from home. She had plans in place to start work at leeds university
as a research assistant but the professor guy was a bit rubbish and it never really came together.
We moved to york to reduce the distance between her & her family, and also because she successfully gained a place on a PhD (at york university
starting this october), and because I felt I was ready for a change of scenery & to broaden the mind etc...
This is the tricky bit - I've not really "integrated" into the local area at all since I don't 'have' anything in
york. I'm self employed so even if I moved my office from west yorkshire, I still wouldn't have any work colleagues as such, I'm not
in any form of education i.e. university, and I don't have any family over here. I've had a few friends over for weekends and been back
home for nights out etc, but it's a pretty lonely lifestyle I'm leading lately.
I was wondering if anyone might have any advice from their own experience of relocating. Also, I've been considering getting into some
volunteer/charity work around york as a way of getting out & about, and also to meet like minded people. Could anyone offer any advice about this
sort of thing?
Any advice/ideas etc is properly appreciated
p.s. I love her a lot so there's no point in saying "get rid" or "move home" etc... just looking for others'
experiences on how they adapted and started new lives/found ways of making new friends in a new area
thanks in advance, paul w
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907
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| posted on 15/8/08 at 06:27 AM |
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Hi,
Getting to know the neighbours might be a good first step.
Mine are among my very best friends.
You never know, while your sitting watching Top Gear/ F1/ Olympics, he/they might be doing the same.
Ask them round for a cuppa.
I work with people that don't even know the names of their neighbours. Sad 
ATB
Paul G
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paul the 6th
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| posted on 15/8/08 at 11:51 AM |
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Next door: andy is a self employed gardener, his wife works for national rail in york and their daughter went to uni in warwickshire and has just got
back = she's a little bit nutty from speaking to her for about 2 minutes lol...
There are a few in york but I've not even ordered my welder yet (should be in the next few weeks!). As soon as I've ordered that
I'll be an official builder but money has a been a bit tight. Met up with RichardK at a local autojumble and he seemed like a good guy - even
invited me round to have a look at his car & let me have some scrap metal = top guy 
we live on the end of a culdesac so no neighbours other side lol. Im doing a bit of research into volunteer work today and I've already for the
number for york rowing club from the gym (since I've always loved rowing).
It's good to know there's others who've been through the same and you're not the only one when life feels a bit odd. Thanks
for the replies guys
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DavidW
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| posted on 17/8/08 at 07:58 PM |
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It might not be much help but when I had to move around a bit for work, joining the local rugby club helped to make friends.
David
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Confused but excited.
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| posted on 17/8/08 at 08:18 PM |
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We moved here ten years ago and didn't know a soul.
The trick is not to assume people are stand offish because they don't speak to you first. They might be thinking the same a bout you.
So make a point of speaking to your nieghbours. As stated previously, seek out like minded people, rowing club etc.
We made some really good friends here, even though my Welsh is still crap.
I am so glad that we made the effort, as I lost my soul mate of 37 years last month ,after a short but vicious fight against kidney cancer that
metastasised to her bones and brain.
I would have been totally f*cked if it hadn't been for some very good friends ( I am 100 miles away from family).
So make the effort dude.
It's well worth it.
Tell them about the bent treacle edges!
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RK
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| posted on 18/8/08 at 02:09 AM |
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Ignore the world and get to work in the garage.
I have nothing to complain about by most people's standards (good business, decent health, wife who is always up for a good game of golf, inlaws
that feed us regularly, $1.25/litre fuel), but we moved several THOUSAND Kms from my home and most people in my neighbourhood speak a different
language (French). I am homesick beyond description after 9 1/2 years. I am saving to move home, but houses are not coming down in price, and the
other half isn't really into it.
My hatred for this awful place must come through to people, so watch for that: people want to be around happy, harmless, dimmer-than-they-are
people.
I truly believe after a certain age you can't meet new people like you used to, but I sincerely wish you the best of luck.
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TimC
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| posted on 18/8/08 at 01:45 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by DavidW
It might not be much help but when I had to move around a bit for work, joining the local rugby club helped to make friends.
David
I concur - made some good mates at the Rugby club - in fact my only mates in Cardiff apart from a few chaps I've met on here.
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pbura
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| posted on 18/8/08 at 03:22 PM |
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You seem to be a young fellow yet (20s?) so this is still a good time to make friends. In fact, I have made new friends through every stage of life
except for the past few years, because of focus on business and caring for elderly parents.
I suggest explaining to new acquaintances that you are new in town, looking to become more involved locally, and asking "What's good to
do?" This opens a conversation without necessarily obligating them. You may receive some invitations to events, clubs, etc., as a result.
Also, tag along occasionally to your wife's work-related events as that may result in invitations to private social functions.
The best friendships are formed in times of need, so be a helper when you can and don't be shy about asking for assistance when you need it.
Good luck!
Pete
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