MakeEverything
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| posted on 19/5/10 at 07:17 PM |
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Funny, you lot. Im sitting here giggling like a school boy about the "Slow burner"!!! - especially as our umbrellas all fire open at the
push of a button!!
Ive sellotaped the mouthpiece of the phone so that they think the phone is nackered.
Also, used to send Net Send messaged like "Im watching you..." and "System Error. Please delete some of your pornographic material.
An error message has been sent."
Had hours of fun with that, but finding everyones correct IP address at Deutsche Bank was challenging! 
My last day as an apprentice, the guys on site screwed my toolbox to the floor with 6" screws and painted all of my tools blue!! Not much fun
in the office though.
How about dipping all of their pen nibs in olive oil? They will never work again!!
[Edited on 19-5-10 by MakeEverything]
Kindest Regards,
Richard.
...You can make it foolProof, but youll never make it Idiot Proof!...
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SteveWalker
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| posted on 19/5/10 at 07:31 PM |
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One guy left his car keys around and came back to find that the guys from the shopfloor had used his sunroof to fill the car to the top with
polystyrene packing beads!
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ChrisW
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| posted on 19/5/10 at 08:48 PM |
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Years ago, you could do an escape code trick to change the message on the one-line screen on HP printers. Used to do that at college loads...
'Insert 10p' then sit back and watch a dumb teacher looking for the coin slot.
Another one (not that I've dared try it): buy one of those fake dog turds. Put it on the floor every day at every opportunity near
someone's desk, then pretend it's absolutely hilarious when they spot it. Go really over the top, immature, point and laugh stuff. Fart
spray works well too.
After a week of this, people will get fed up with it and start just picking it up and putting it back on your desk without even acknoweldging the
joke, or muttering about how immature you are. At that point, switch to a real dog turd collected from the pavement
Another one from college. We all used to have metal flip top tins for pens, pencils, etc. One electronics lesson I soldered a mate's one shut.
That upset him! 
Chris
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Vindi_andy
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| posted on 19/5/10 at 09:00 PM |
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we have a remote control rat that we hide under desks and get the newbies just as they pull out the chair.
Mate of mine sent an email on my behalf now my surname is laws and he put my initial as K but didnt put a full stop so the woman who got the email
asked for for Mr Klaws to which the reply was " sorry he only works 25th december"
To say she was not happy is an understatement
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coozer
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| posted on 19/5/10 at 09:02 PM |
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Make a note with TOSSER! written on it in big fonts then stick it in the Startup.
Then watch the next morning when they start up the pc
1972 V8 Jago
1980 Z750
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David Jenkins
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| posted on 19/5/10 at 09:28 PM |
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These things are fun...
Linky
Makes a little noise - hardly audible - at random intervals. Stick it under a desk, or on top of the ceiling tiles, and drive people nuts!
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l0rd
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| posted on 19/5/10 at 09:46 PM |
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Stick a bolt under the chair where the hydraulic button for the height adjuster is.
Every time the sit on the chair it goes down and as soon as they stand up it goes back up.
Has made me laugh several times.
Get a wireless keyboard / mouse and stick it to the the poor person computer. When he uses his, you can start typing or moving the cursor as well and
look at him go mad.
Has done that several times.
Never stopped laughing.
Also, pressing the shift button at the same time
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Liam
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| posted on 19/5/10 at 10:00 PM |
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Sometimes only full-scale* warfare will do...
Clicky
* well, USB-scale
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Ninehigh
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| posted on 20/5/10 at 12:44 AM |
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Best one I ever wanted to do was the "long wait"
You know where your boss sends you for a long wait, only instead of being a mug you go for a looooonnng lunch
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SteveWalker
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| posted on 20/5/10 at 07:13 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Ninehigh
Best one I ever wanted to do was the "long wait"
You know where your boss sends you for a long wait, only instead of being a mug you go for a looooonnng lunch
Back in the days when my wife was a ward sister, she sent students off to ask on other wards to borrow a "case of endometriosis"
(gynaelogical condition) or a "Bowmans capsule" (part of the kidney) and would then spend some time phoning from ward to ward telling them
to get the student to wait and then send them on to the next one. It generally only came to an end when one of the other nurses asked the student, in
a long suffering way, "did Tric McGuinness send you?"
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coozer
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| posted on 21/5/10 at 07:34 AM |
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There's plenty of green apprentice jokes...
"Go get me a bucket of steam from the stores"
"Go get me a tin of tartan paint from the stores"
A long stand for the gearbox....
Early in my life working at the NCB learning welding....
Steel toe caps 'warmed' up under the bench with the cutting torch.. and my particular favourite.... steel toes caps welded together/to the
bench while the student was behind his mask up top...
1972 V8 Jago
1980 Z750
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iank
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| posted on 21/5/10 at 07:45 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by coozer
There's plenty of green apprentice jokes...
"Go get me a bucket of steam from the stores"
"Go get me a tin of tartan paint from the stores"
A long stand for the gearbox....
Early in my life working at the NCB learning welding....
Steel toe caps 'warmed' up under the bench with the cutting torch.. and my particular favourite.... steel toes caps welded together/to the
bench while the student was behind his mask up top...
Bag of sparks for the grinder
Long weight
Long stand
Glass hammer
Left-handed paint roller
Left-handed/Right-handed/hard punch
--
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
Anonymous
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David Jenkins
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| posted on 21/5/10 at 07:59 AM |
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My sister-in-law is left-handed - one Christmas we bought her some left-handed scissors and a left-handed ruler (yes, they do exist).
Both were appreciated and are stll in regular use!
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Ninehigh
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| posted on 21/5/10 at 08:15 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by iank
quote:
Originally posted by coozer
There's plenty of green apprentice jokes...
"Go get me a bucket of steam from the stores"
"Go get me a tin of tartan paint from the stores"
A long stand for the gearbox....
Early in my life working at the NCB learning welding....
Steel toe caps 'warmed' up under the bench with the cutting torch.. and my particular favourite.... steel toes caps welded together/to the
bench while the student was behind his mask up top...
Bag of sparks for the grinder
Long weight
Long stand
Glass hammer
Left-handed paint roller
Left-handed/Right-handed/hard punch
Reminds me of Dom Joly going to a builder's yard for some Soggy Chimps, a 6ft barstud, a 2 by 4 by 3 by 6 by 1, and getting funny with them when
they told him he was being wound up
Would link you the clip but channel 4 has blocked it...
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Ninehigh
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| posted on 1/6/10 at 08:56 PM |
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I've found a corker, use the autocorrect function on Word.
Replace something simple like "coffee" with "c*ck" or similar
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