mangogrooveworkshop
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| posted on 5/10/09 at 10:26 PM |
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English: The Men's Guide To Female
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I've got my period
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it
Was that the baby?= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important
All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I
need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?
The Answer To "What's Wrong?"
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Everything = My PMS is acting up
Nothing, really = It's just that you're such a pain the butt
I don't want to talk about it = Go away, I'm still building up steam
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A1
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| posted on 6/10/09 at 12:24 AM |
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quality!
yet so very accurate....
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Staple balls
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| posted on 6/10/09 at 12:25 AM |
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LBMEFM
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| posted on 6/10/09 at 06:11 AM |
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You have met my wife then
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speedyxjs
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| posted on 6/10/09 at 06:17 AM |
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How long can i resist the temptation to drop a V8 in?
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GrumpyOne
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| posted on 6/10/09 at 07:51 AM |
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Some of my wife’s favourite ones.
What would you like for dinner tonight – It better be takeaway as I’m not cooking anything.
I’ll just take your car today – There is no fuel in mine and I can’t be bothered filling it up.
Do you have any change – Just empty your wallet in to my purse.
What would you like to watch on TV – I’m watching some girly crap so sod off.
It’s just a pity we can’t – This is my favourite one as it covers everything, “It’s just a pity we can’t afford a new (something) or do (something).
If I don’t suggest a way that we could then I usually get it in the neck later for being mean or boring, or both.
Don't you just love them
My wife is very understanding, she understands that if I am in the garage I am not in the house annoying her.
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stevec
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| posted on 6/10/09 at 08:46 AM |
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What about the wedding day.
I do = I do not give head anymore.
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TimC
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| posted on 6/10/09 at 11:45 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by speedyxjs
Speedy, aren't you 17 and 'sans' girlfriend?
You have much to learn Padawan!
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