but im going to bet 15 pence that every now and again one or two wont agree
but rather than make it public why not use the u2u facility
and now my thread has been bumped down
I started a thread recently,
http://locostbuilders.co.uk/viewthread.php?tid=114901&page=1
and on it, one of the contributors, Steve Hignett, made this remark about me
“Sorry if any of the above has caused offence, I've been celebrating (still having a job) all night, so might not have phrased everything
correctly (especially in regard to the OP's other ridiculous recent posts............) “
Now, as the OP (original poster) referred to, I take offence at that, and have made several requests to Steve to either demonstrate some
ridiculousness in one or more of my posts, or to withdraw the remark. So far, despite several visits to the forum, he has done neither. The remark
itself contains a reference to celebrating, and the context suggests that he may have been drunk at the time of the original remark. Fair enough,
aggression is a common reaction to alcohol, but should be put right at the first opportunity afterwards.
Now, I realise that in some forums this kind of thing is commonplace, but here it isn’t, and I think that is a good thing. What I really want to know
from the other forum users is how they feel about this sort of thing? Do they feel that this kind of bullying remark lowers the tone of the
Locostbuilders forum, and should be discouraged, or do they feel that it’s OK, and that people should be allowed to make this kind of remark about
other users without being challenged?
There are some who may feel that the whole thing is trivial, that it doesn’t matter, and that I am making a fuss about nothing. Feel free to say that,
if that is what you think. Bear in mind, though, that you were not the target, and that it easy to treat wrong done to others as trivial. See if you
feel the same way when someone does it to you.
I should make it clear that I don’t mind people disagreeing with me, and often find myself disagreeing, in my posts, with things that others have
said. In fact, in the first post of the thread, I invited disagreement. Disagreement is at the very heart of an active forum, and it is only by people
each supporting their own point of view that all the relevant material can be brought out for everybody to consider, but being rude about somebody
else is a step too far, for me, and I think most of the other users here would agree.
Please make your thoughts on this known, as I for one thing this is an important issue. If it appears that the consensus is that Steve’s remark is OK,
and should be allowed to go unchallenged and uncorrected, then I will accept that, and reply to him in kind. I expect it will descend into a slanging
match though. If on the other hand the consensus is that it does matter, and that we should all make an attempt to be polite to each other, then I
will accept that too, and having drawn attention to Steve’s remark, say no more about it (unless it happens again).
As far as I know, the "contributor" status only means you have donated to the site upkeep, not that you are connected with the forum or
subject section. Is that what you are referring to?
Just looked at the post you are referring to. If the reply had caused offence, I would have perhaps done a U2U and just asked if he could edit it. In
all honesty, I don't think your public replies "tracking" his activity help - again, it could have been done in private with a U2U.
Please take my comment as they are intended - my view on forum etiquette. I don't know either of you or have any connection with the posts in
question.
[Edited on 7/6/09 by slimtater]
quote:
Originally posted by slimtater
As far as I know, the "contributor" status only means you have donated to the site upkeep, not that you are connected with the forum or subject section.
To be honest, that wouldn't bother me in the least.
It's not offensive, vulgar, or NSFW. Neither is it racist, sexist, or an other significant ist I can think of.
Surely if someone is drunk then you give them a fair degree of latitude anyway?
(If not, then best avoid me in the pub at any meets)
To end - "Its just the internet. Its not real"
ho hum, back to work...............
I was always told that it costs nowt to be civil and generally try to be that way. The development of forums and banter betwen people who have never
met requires a further degree of caution and while it is fair to disagree with points of view personal criticism should be left out of it.
Once it gets down to tit for tat squabbling nobody comes out of it looking great and it is embarassing to read.
I haven't read the posts concerned but of the posts I have seen by Mr Hendeson there is usually a lot of common sense there and I can see why you
feel agrieved. I hope it gets sorted amicably "in a grown up sort of way", as I say to the kids at school!!
atb
Milke
ps feel free to disagree with me!
has this "calling out" for a mediocre comment been done before?
I think when JoelP put in a reply saying that your repeating yourself and a review of when he had logged (which doesn't mean that he's
re-read the post by the way, making it a tad more ridiculous) was bordering on ridiculous itself said a lot.
Now that you have started an entirely new thread in the same vain, and potentially pushing someone else's important thread off the forum main
page is a bit off really.
As above, why didn't you ask him privately? Instead of trying to say it so publicly after you invited the criticism.
From the original thread "...so I won't bother with it too much."
So why continue this? That seems pretty ridiculous to me. As was the last time you carried on like this when someone disagreed with you. No doubt
there'll be another thread complaining about my opinion...
adrian
i dont know how many people there are on this forum
but im going to bet 15 pence that every now and again one or two wont agree
but rather than make it public why not use the u2u facility
and now my thread has been bumped down
Mark, having seen your posts in a number of threads I feel you don't react well to comments on the forum. I'm not going to go and quote
every single thread as this is a belief not a fact and more importantly I really can't be bothered.
In the thread your referring too one poster made a comment, instead of going "hmmm, mumble grumble" to yourself and ignoring it you keep
coming back to it. You make mountains out of mole hills. This being a prime example. If you hadn't retorted at all - then you wouldn't have
3 or 4 other posts on that thread and this whole thread wouldn't exist.
What always surprises me is you get into these arguments when you're running a business. This then reflects on your business - if this is an
attempt at keeping your business name clean then for me it doesn't work. It draws attention to you in the wrong light. What you want to be doing
is showing off the work you've done and get happy customers posting on here about how happy they are.
Right, i'm off for more headache pills and a lie down - if i've made a bad / dodgy / inappropriate / wrong / offensive or anything else
comment I'll apologise now. It wasn't intentional - I'm just trying to be helpful.
quote:
Originally posted by mr hendersonThere are some who may feel that the whole thing is trivial, that it doesn’t matter, and that I am making a fuss about nothing. Feel free to say that, if that is what you think.
More driving, less chit chat!
One question, have you sent him a u2u at all ?
I took someones post the wrong way once and u2u'd him, with my arse in my hands. He explained and I'd jumped to the wrong conclusion. I
apologised, all cool.
I may be reading in to this more than there is but, it seems odd you starting a thread having a dig at someone who also builds / finishes kits, albeit
(is that a word ?) he does it part time, where you appear to operate as a business.
People will clash, in real life or on forums, live with it, move on.
Steve was obvioulsy drunk (he even admitted it) so I wouldn't take his comments to heart.
As posted before, you seem to fly off the handle very quickly to peoples posts, maybe you should think back to all the times various people have
helped you out with "customers cars" or finding that part to complete a job.
It seems you owe more to this forum than just paying for "trader staus" - you would be the one having to celebrate you were still in a job
if nobody help you out with your business.
Shaun
All in my very humble opinion of course, but, you need to get out more if you take offence at that post.
Locostbuilders is probably the tamest forum on the 'net, if you posted in a lot of my other "haunts" you'd get much worse.
IMHO your posts "can" come across as condecending and a little pompous, not enough to cause offence, but enough to grate slightly.
This thread needs deleting
[Edited on 8/6/09 by UncleFista]
OK, so most people feel the remark was trivial. I can live with that, beng called ridiculous is something that has to happen to a person before they
can really decide whether it's trivial or not
As for the U2u suggestions....WHY?
The comment was public, why does the reply have to be private? That doesn't make sense.
Still, most of you seem to think name calling is no big deal, so I will indulge in it too when I feel the desire. Shame, though, I think forums are so
much better without that sort of thing
John
to the OP, and this might in inself be seen as 'beyond the pale', but what age are you?
I'm no spring chicken meself, but you seem to react in quite a 'victorian' fashion to this new-fangled internet thingy.
This isnt the same as a 'proper letter' insulting you. This is a chatty 'off the cuff' remark which I think is best looked at as
sarky banter.
Anyway, another 30 minutes and I'm leaving work. Hope I havent caused offense, but if I have.... then you need to get a thicker skin/out more.
quote:
Originally posted by mr henderson
Still, most of you seem to think name calling is no big deal, so I will indulge in it too when I feel the desire. Shame, though, I think forums are so much better without that sort of thing
John
quote:
Originally posted by Jumpy Guy
to the OP, and this might in inself be seen as 'beyond the pale', but what age are you?
I'm no spring chicken meself, but you seem to react in quite a 'victorian' fashion to this new-fangled internet thingy.
This isnt the same as a 'proper letter' insulting you. This is a chatty 'off the cuff' remark which I think is best looked at as sarky banter.
Anyway, another 30 minutes and I'm leaving work. Hope I havent caused offense, but if I have.... then you need to get a thicker skin/out more.
John, you're missing the point completely.
I congratulate my team in public and bollock them in private. If we do something well I name the individual, if we do something badly it was "my
team" and therefore "me" that got it wrong as far as the world will see. I do not drag them through the mud kicking and screaming for
all the world to see - it looks bad on me, them and mostly everyone else remembers what a complete cock of a boss I am & will try not to work on
my projects.
If you disagree with someone's post, have a private chat with them about it. No one else on here wants to see your out pourings of righteous
indignation. If the person is decent and they didn't mean to cause offence they'll post an apology / clarification. If they didn't it
will be forgotten about in about 5 minutes anyway ..... all this does is make sure everyone remembers that you get upset about a comment &
don't let it go.
I would normally agree with the previous poster saying "please delete this post" but as you seem keen to have everything written down and in
the public eye, perhaps it should remain visible for people to use to form opinions on me, you and every other poster on here.
quote:
Originally posted by mr henderson
As for the U2u suggestions....WHY?
The comment was public, why does the reply have to be private? That doesn't make sense.
John
quote:
Originally posted by fesycresy
Perhaps he didn't re-visit the thread ? Perhaps he never saw your comments ?
Jings, you could start a riot in a phonebox.
Would it help if you called me a name, in a cathartic way?
I dont mind. Honest.
If people thought that I was a self-important, bumptious tw*t, then hey ho.
As a Registered Trader you are doing your business no good at all by threads like this.
I don't use this forum much but looking through some older posts it does seem that you feel the need to post a reply or correct someone at every
chance.
I've seen this before on many forums, by which a member gains trader status and then feels a need to post a reply on every thread, not for any
real reason other than to promote their busness.
Take a look at other Manufacturers or Traders on here, Mnr, Mac 1, Mk, Tad etc, none of the above feel a need to reply on posts unless the question is
aimed towards them.
Don't take this as me saying you should stop reply post's or even using the site, but it may be more suitable to choose which threads you
contribute too in relation to your business.
Someone has mentioned it above though that you and Mr Hignett have similar business interest's, so maybe you challenging him like this on a
public forum is more about saying who's got the biggest love length 
[Edited on 7/6/09 by Garage Clearout]
Personal digs on a public forum are petty and upsetting. I feel you will get no closure here Mr Henderson and your determination to air the conflict
is probably now doing you, rather than your verbal opponent, more harm than good if some comments are to be believed.
This particular dissagreement probably needs dropping as unresolvable. But no one should resort to nasty passive-agressive attacks on others on any
forum. I have been on the receiving end of a couple of nasty remarks - and it is very unpleasant. The first time a u2ud and got no reply. Now I just
ignore rudeness by others whilst really disliking it.
This is one of the best forums around. Lets keep it that way. A bit of respect for others costs nothing.
quote:
Originally posted by Garage Clearout
I don't use this forum much but looking through some older posts it does seem that you feel the need to post a reply or correct someone at every chance.
I've seen this before on many forums, by which a member gains trader status and then feels a need to post a reply on every thread, not for any real reason other than to promote their busness.
quote:
Originally posted by Garage Clearout
Someone has mentioned it above though that you and Mr Hignett have similar business interest's, so maybe you challenging him like this on a public forum is more about saying who's got the biggest love length
quote:
Originally posted by mr henderson
Still, most of you seem to think name calling is no big deal, so I will indulge in it too when I feel the desire.
John
Just to let you know, Steve hasn't really built cars for anyone else since he got married last year and lost his job the day he got back from his
honeymoon.
He'll only build for others now if he really wants too!
Didn't want to continue this argument cos I had my say above, but thought I'd just clear up that fact!
quote:
Originally posted by Garage Clearout
Someone has mentioned it above though that you and Mr Hignett have similar business interest's, so maybe you challenging him like this on a public forum is more about saying who's got the biggest love length
[Edited on 7/6/09 by Garage Clearout]
Isn't this all about people's opinions and the right to air them. Opinions do not have to be fact based and cannot always be substantiated
(if it is necessary to substantiate an opinion??).
If the biggest insult I'd received on a forum was that some of my forum posts were ridiculous, I'd be quite happy.
I have to admit that some of my posts on here are completely unhelpful and I've been known to take the odd, good-humoured, pop at someone at some
time. No one has ever complained to me about any of the content and I think that this has a lot to do with the way that things are written.
I've said it before John, I find you to be a complete and utter enigma!
On one hand you come across as extremely knowledgeable and helpful to fellow LCB members.
But on the other hand though, you can be unecessarily prickly!
The problem with forums is that it's hard to convey personality in a type-written format. What could be intended as a bit of banter, can often be
consttrued as a 'dig'.
You have previously made anti-Scottish remarks on here, and you have also posted links to content which could be considered homophobic.
Perhaps if I met Mr H in person, I would get 'it'. But I just can't suss you out and therefore am never quite sure what to expect on a
Mr H thread.
For what it's worth, I think you have over-reacted to the posting inquestion. I also think this particular thread reflects badly on Mr H the LCB
member as it's dragging out a non-event.
All in my opinion and only offered because you invited comment!
Despite you constantly trying to justify your inability to accept other peoples comments on this forum, you drag this debate on, The comments in the
original thread are fine, and it appears that what was said seems only to a be a reflection on what some other members were thinking.
Whether or not you and the other member have similar business interest's or not, it appears to be you that is constantly dragging this matter
on.
The more this thread continues the more it reflects badly on you, and not the other member.
It's your choice but i would have deleted this thread 2 pages ago to protect your dignity.
As previously suggested, take two large chill pills and relax.
So someone says your posts are "ridiculous".
So what?
No one takes this sort of remark seriously, only you.
I doubt if anyone actually cares about this sort of casual knockabout. It is only an internet forum.
How would you deal with a disgruntled customer. Ask for a public apology??
And whilst we're on the subject of forum etiquette I echo a previous post. This seemingly un-necessary thread has pushed someone elses thread
off the front page. Do you intend to publicly apologise to them?
Do your business a favour. Spend more time finishing kits and less time getting needlessly upset.
Take nothing on the net seriously. Water...ducks back...sticks..stones..etc.
I don't need anyone on the net to tell me how "ridiculous" I am.
I have a wife to do that. And friends. And workmates.
Hang on.... everybody says it.
Geoff.
im sure its threads like this steve might think are ridiculous. You do nit pick. I have also seen a post you started on another forum that was indeed
ridicuous, and 23 pages of people seemed to think so too.
I dont think you're a bad bloke, quite the contrary in fact, but you do come across pompous and condesending at times, to use words mentioned
above. I wont post exhaustive examples because it is an impression ive formed from reading pretty much every post you've made here; but one
example that springs to mind would be the thread about using capital letters, for instance. Pompous and unnecessary.