Try using the "wrong hand" to brush your teeth as well. When I injured my shoulder I had to
do everything left handed and learnt to cope quite adequately, at first everything was a challenge though.
After hurting my right arm, (I,m left handed) and thinking how the heck am I going to wipe ones bottom I realised I always use my right hand, lucky then but what does everyone else do ?
You're married and still wipe your own? Try using the "wrong hand" to brush your teeth as well. When I injured my shoulder I had to
do everything left handed and learnt to cope quite adequately, at first everything was a challenge though.
You didn't ask the crucial "front to back" or "back to front" technique.
FWIW, I don't wipe my bum as I don't poop. Apparently it's just me and Her Majesty who don't!
quote:
Originally posted by scootz
You didn't ask the crucial "front to back" or "back to front" technique.
FWIW, I don't wipe my bum as I don't poop. Apparently it's just me and Her Majesty who don't!
Is that why he was called Rimmer? 
Eh? There's no option for using toilet paper instead of using a hand
(the old ones are the best!)
As a clean freak, I was most upset with the facilities in my first office in the rural Balkans. A hole in the floor, no bog-roll, and an old soft
drinks bottle that was filled with tap water.
No soap and the bottle had finger-smudges round it!
There was no mistaking when Scotty-boy needed to go as he was seen walking up the corridor with his own loo-roll and bar of soap! The locals thought
I was very odd
you've missed off "drag yourself across the carpet" 
A relative of mine recently broke BOTH arms after falling down a flight of stairs, resulting in both arms in plaster. Its a good job his wife loved
him.
Get a Bidet!
Then when your hand / arm gets better you can use the Bidet to wash you feet. Its a lot easier than ballancing on one leg with your foot in the
sink
You mean you dont employ a 'Groom of the Stool'
Last time I was In Tokyo,I went to see sumo wrestling ,I asked the question ,how does the big guy reach his bottm to give it a wipe, answer was they
have an assistant to do that.
Not a job I would like.
Denis.
This is just too off topic - please delete!
Have you got a dog ?
What No Key hole surgery!
Depends what you eat, you can get away without 'needing' to wipe.
In Africa they just use leaves in a longdrop toilet
Like to see the buggers use the nettle leaves you get here
quote:
Originally posted by balidey
Depends what you eat, you can get away without 'needing' to wipe.
quote:
Originally posted by scootz
quote:
Originally posted by balidey
Depends what you eat, you can get away without 'needing' to wipe.
I guess that whoever does your laundry would disagree!
Out in Mongolia, the local goat herders use fist sized stones/pebbles
apparently it's wise to spend a few minutes looking on the ground for a rounded one rather than one with sharp edges
Bit of 38mm water hose shoved up the er... required apperture, nothing touches the sides (of you), job done, no need to wash.
Pop the 'used' water hose in the dishwasher*, jobs a goodun, ready for next time.
* N.B. A parts washer makes a suitable alternative
quote:
Originally posted by norfolkluego
Bit of 38mm water hose shoved up the er... required apperture, nothing touches the sides (of you), job done, no need to wash.
Theres also the Japanese way (Or at least how we call it in Mexico)
Grab paper cone, remove and save tip (bottom), Insert finger through small hole, clean surface, grab cone with other hand (oops, method not suitable
for single handed use) squeeze fecal matter off finger, dispose of soiled cone, use cone tip to clean nail crevices....
Done... (in Gordons Ramsay´s accent)
Uuuuurrrggghhhhh!
Hmmm - far less proportion of juvenile dont bother votes than I expected 
.
quote:
Originally posted by norfolkluego
Bit of 38mm water hose shoved up the er... required apperture, nothing touches the sides (of you), job done, no need to wash.
Pop the 'used' water hose in the dishwasher*, jobs a goodun, ready for next time.
* N.B. A parts washer makes a suitable alternative
I know nothing/have no experience about/of it but I think it's wrong/right to use the Cone but have used a stone before and it works quite well.
Apologies to the original author for the plagiarism in this reply.
quote:
Originally posted by scootz
Informative Link
quote:
Originally posted by JoelP
quote:
Originally posted by scootz
Informative Link
ha ha, ive never tried so hard not to laugh, for fear of the missus asking what i was looking at