- Signs you know you've grown up!
1. Your potted plants are alive. And you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to sleep. 5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator. 6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel. 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup. 8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7. 9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up". 10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo. 11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. 12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. 13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. 14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's. 15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. 16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6:00 PM. 17. Dinner and a movie - the whole date instead of the beginning of one. 18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3:00 a.m. would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach. 19. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits. 20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff". 21. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time. 22. "I just can't drink the way I used to", replaces "I'm never going drink that much again." 23. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. 24. You don't drink at home to save money before going to a bar. 25. You read this entire list looking for one sign that doesn't apply to you

Questions only dumb people would ask:
Questions only dumb people would ask: * How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign? * How do you get the "Keep off the Grass" sign on the grass? * How do you get off a non-stop flight? * How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink? * How do you throw away a garbage can? * How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? * How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? * If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman? * If a pig is sold to the pawn shop, is it considered a ham-hock? * If a turtle lost his shell, is he homeless,naked, or both? * If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs? * If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from? * If I save time, when do I get it back? * If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit? * If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers? * If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look like the way they do? * If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? * If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex? * If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi? * If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry? * If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? * If you jog backwards, will you gain weight? * If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back? * If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? * If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? * Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? * Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers? * Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower? * What do people in China call their good plates? * What do you call a bedroom with no bed in it? * What do you call a male ladybug? * What do you say if you're talking to God, and he sneezes? * What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours? * What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go? * What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? * What makes cheese so confidential that we actually need cheese shredders? * When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? * When cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses? * When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to? * Where are the germs that cause .good. breath? * Where do they get Spring water in the other 3 seasons? * Why are all blackboards called that when some of them are green? * Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"? * Why are they called "stands" when they.re made for sitting? * Why aren.t there ever any guilty bystanders? * Why do ballet dancers dance on their toes? Why doesn.t the company just hire taller dancers? * Why do people tell you when they are speechless? * Why do they give you a tape with a VCR to tell you how to use it? * Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? * Why do we need training bras? What can we teach them? * Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? * Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there? * Why do your feet smell and your nose runs? * Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic... shouldn't they already know you're coming? * Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice? * Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? * Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? * Why don't they just use fattest man in the world for a hockey goalie? * Why don.t you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? * Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist? * Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? * Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? * Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman.s chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him? * Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? * Dumb Question: If your scared half to death twice, what happens?Questions only dumb people would ask:

You need to get out more.lol.
hows the car coming on?