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Choose your pet wisely...

..Remember that over time ----- owners begin to look like their pets... ;o)

or...

Lose weight quickly by eating raw pork or rancid tuna. The subsequent food poisoning/diarrhea will enable you to lose 12 pounds in only 2 days.

or...

Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road.

lol

the golden oldie...

Never eat yellow snow

off my wife and kids:

i gotta tip for you. yeah, really. look, right here on the end of my shoe. and you're gonna get it if you look at my daughter again.

Never attempt to fasten your shoe laces in a revolving supermarket door.

If we keep it up this could become one of the longest running threads. You've started something now Mangogroove.