I changed jobs last year for almost the perfect job. I say almost because it was 60+ miles away without much WFH flexibility. It was quite stressful but I got to design and work on the cutting edge of medical device technology. A real eye opener and totally amazing. . . until I got made redundant due to a downturn in work.

I am trying to not take it personally and back myself but it has rattled me, I think. There are positives to take, I get to see my young children a lot more and basically be a house husband as my wife has a great job and is super supportive.

Ideally I would get another job in the new year doing something slightly less stressful far more local and flexible, but thats not my industry. Also with my appetite lost to talk microns, exotic materials and solving seriously tough technical design problems I kind of want to do simpler things. I am worried in becoming a less driven old lazy man, at 41!!!

I'm not going to do anything this side of Christmas because its a good opportunity not to, I could probably get away with never working again, but that frightens me as well. I was such a proud positive driven person and now doubt everything.

Any words of wisdom? Or new business ideas a seasoned mechanical design engineer could start up who knows how to get stuff designed and made properly?

I guess I just need a hug from you lot really!

That sucks, sorry to hear your position has changed. But really it's just an opportunity. You might currently not want to do anything too complex and feel like a break, that's OK, but if you're anything like me you'll soon yearn for the technical aspects again. I took a chance on a new job where I'm not doing the work, I'm overseeing it, at the highest possible level in my field. But it's not the same. I feel somehow less fulfilled. It's helped me regain my sanity and concentrate on my family for a while, reframing what I really want. 2 years into it, I love the team and I work on multinational design projects of one-off, hundred million pound devices, but I'm not doing the work, my hand isn't in the product. So I'm considering my options including a 50% pay cut, it seems crazy but money isn't everything. Don't be afraid, you're still you and what's right for you now might not be right later, just roll with the happiest route for now.

Disclaimer - obviously everyone's circumstances are different as are their views and values...

For me it's just get a job, doesn't matter what but keep the money coming in, especially when the kids are young as there never is or ever will be enough lol. Not sure why you sitting about waiting, what are you waiting for? So you lost your job, so what, big deal go and get another, hell try something new. You say money's not an issue so anything is on the cards now. There's not much more off putting to me when I interview people to find they have just been sitting about between jobs, sometimes for years, why?? wtf! If an engineer tells me they lost their job but went to work in McDonalds or drove courier van etc. in the meantime till they got a new job, they've already shown they are willing to just knuckle down and do what it takes. Already their at the top of the list. There are very few "Perfect" jobs but endless opportunity's to do something new and interesting.

Not sure if that is helpful, it was meant to be...good luck



[Edited on 28/11/23 by Mr Whippy]

Sorry to hear of your change, but seriously hope you can live without stressing over the Christmas and New Year period (for you and your family).

My oldest friend worked for a big sports holiday brand for a long time. He was their German speaking/reading/writing conduit in the UK (having grown up in Germany).

For some years he harboured ambitions to start his own carpentry business. By his own admition, with 2 young kids he didn't have the nerve to leave a well paid job and go for it. Put on Furlough for 6 months by the travel company and then made redundant he was given the freedom to go for it.

3 YEARS AGO

He's now running a successful carpentry business and making more money than he was previously earning.

In his words..."Redumdancy gave me the freedom to achieve this!"

I don't have a business suggestion for you, but do think you need to see this as an opportunity to try something new. Even if you get a box stacking job for a while to bring in some money and stave off boredom.

Sorry to hear of the sudden change, but it can make you re-assess.
There is nothing wrong with not being "driven" or ambitious. Take a breath, think about how you want your life to be. A job/career is just a small part, or should be.

You say you have young kids, take the time to be with them, I really believe it pays dividends down the road. There is something wonderful about your own kids, and even as mine are now mid 20's, we are still close and get on really well.

when I was mid 30's I was at a crossroads. I had bought 3 rentals, still owed what seemed a fortune on them, but we were beginning to get profitable enough for me to take the risk of stopping full time teaching. I did that, did supply for the next 15 years, working up to 90% of a full academic year, but importantly with the flexibility of taking time off. I did loads of stuff with my kids, we took them out of school for holidays and those savings offset me not working.

Now, in my late 50's, I spend my days doing maintenance on rental properties, some my own, some for other people. But only work when I want to. I enjoy spending time faffing in the garage, or with friends doing "stuff". Interestingly (or not) I have just been diagnosed with ADHD which makes sense of much of my life and my decisions, but I am very happy with the way my life has progressed. It could have been very different, probably not better or worse. But I think life may take a meandering path, or it may be dead straight. And personal happiness is not often brought about through work, but about doing stuff you like. (of course, a crap job can and will make you misearable)

All the above are just the ramblings of somebody who is now thinking about proper retirement, and developing a 10 year plan!

It's certainly a shock to get laid off, happened to me 3 times so far, and hard when you have family/house etc to support. It puts an extra pressure on you for sure. Just take some time to take stock and spend some quality time with family, but I suggest you keep your ear to the ground and actively hunt for another job, in the same line, but also be open to doing something slightly different. Sounds like you have a cash buffer and supportive wife, so it's not urgent to get another job, but don't leave it too long. 41 is not that old and you'll certainly need something to do for your sanity. So put the feelers out and don't burn any bridges as you might well end up back at same job as before, or working with previous colleagues. Hope that helps.....

Redundancy has affected me 4 times over the last 20 years, before that there was the fixed term research contract scenario. It does knock you a bit, in fact it's devastating mentally and now at over 60 there's not a lot of interest from employers... and of course, the future isn't one of a pension..

You're 41, young, just get a job! Don't leave a gap any bigger than absolutely have to.

Getting out of the private sector is something to go for if job security is now your focus.

I am currently unemployed and have been since the end of October, however as I'm a contractor it's just an occupational hazard rather than driven by my employer. For me I'm mainly struggling with how to fill my time, which kind of says a lot about what might happen when I retire!!

I really recommend you find something to do. It's really easy to just slip into 'daytime TV' mode and that won't help you at all. Given where we are right now I'd suggest building a car, but there's loads of other stuff to do.

As an example, my daily schedule consists of a couple of hours on jobserve and linkedin to see what is going on in the world of employment, then some self learning on a few things that I want to pick up. I've always wanted to write a video game so I'm doing some youtube and Udemy tutorials on that. Then in the afternoon I work in the garage, and the evening is family time.

Most of all, consider the time off as a gift rather than a sentence. A new job will come along, at 41 you're basically halfway through your career so there's plenty more experiences to be had.

I feel for you although it seems its all too common these days. I worked for the same firm for 21 years, 1990 to 2011, and worked my way up from entry level to being technical director on the board. I thought I'd be there forever and be the one turning the lights out if it ever went south but the MD retired and as by then the company had been bought by a larger group they recruited the replacement MD. The new guy was an A-hole and between 2009 and 2011 (to be fair there was a bit of a global economic issue!) the company shrunk from circa £60m t/o to £18m. A lot of our long time clients went to others because they couldn't get on with the new MD. Massive redundancies followed including myself. To be fair the last 2 years were hell so I felt some relief but also like you say massive self doubt and a bit of a crisis. Its time to reflect. Consider all your options, even maybe re-training to something completely different. If after thinking things through you'd rather stick with what you know then put yourself back out there and don't be afraid to tap into any contacts you've made over the years as the best jobs never get advertised. I was actually contacted directly by a former competitor and offered a position. It was a couple of rungs down the ladder from where I was before but only £10k less money and quite a bit less hassle so I went for it. 2 years later I was head hunted by another former competitor so I moved again and ended up earning more than when I'd been made redundant 2 years previously.

Just remember, you can shake the bottle of milk but the cream still rises back to the top eventually.

My son, only 29, has already been made redundant 4 times in his short career but he's bounced back and is now doing better than I was at his age.

Hang in there - you'll be back on your feet soon.

quote:

---

Originally posted by bi22le
1) Ideally I would get another job in the new year doing something slightly less stressful far more local and flexible
2) I kind of want to do simpler things.
3) I am worried in becoming a less driven old lazy man, at 41!!!

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by bi22lenew business ideas a seasoned mechanical design engineer could start up who knows how to get stuff designed and made properly?

---

Thank you so much for these posts so far. Supportive, judgemental and thought provoking. This is good stuff, honestly it is.

To answer a few points, provoke more input from you, and thought from me:

- I have decided to not rush into my next role this side of Christmas because I don't know exactly what I want to do. Also my wife needs some support, it's been a crazy year and this just tips it off
- I can probably find contract work and get paid well for it but I need life balance. Snatching at contracts for companies office based 100miles away is going to be very difficult to manage.
- I like the idea of just doing something different. I like engineering, I'm good with my hands and self employed flexibility sounds good. One of the problems is that I work in an academic field where management can select immaculate candidates. If I go off and try something different I may never get back into that industry.

quote:

---

Originally posted by bi22le

- I like the idea of just doing something different. I like engineering, I'm good with my hands and self employed flexibility sounds good. One of the problems is that I work in an academic field where management can select immaculate candidates. If I go off and try something different I may never get back into that industry.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sam_68
Since you're on this forum, how about plans-built stuff that you can sell the plans and/or kits for on Ebay... stuff like the swing-bin racer, Toylander or I reckon there might be a market for Cyclekart kits and components to take off in the UK (the movement is just starting to gain momentum, it seems). If you sell plans-based stuff cheap enough, people will buy it on impulse or out of curiosity (the Locost book and Staniforth's original Terrapin book and plans versus Callum's T89 project being a case in point: charging £20 for a book or £30 for plans attracts more customers than charging £several hundred, regardless of how detailed and comprehensive the more expensive package is).
[Edited on 28/11/23 by Sam_68]

---

you mentioned that you worked in research. do you have industry experience as well?

i work at a uni and have recently recruited ex post doc researchers into my team. if you have academic and industry experience, thats a useful set of skills possibly the perfect candidate! - possibly a new area? (but in a similar field)

paul

Similar thing happened to me although it was 30yrs ago, job market was difficult and it took 9 months to get a job but I used the time by doing a couple of courses, CAD being one at the local college, courses were free then to unemployed not sure if that’s still the case though.

quote:

---

Originally posted by swanny
you mentioned that you worked in research. do you have industry experience as well?

i work at a uni and have recently recruited ex post doc researchers into my team. if you have academic and industry experience, thats a useful set of skills possibly the perfect candidate! - possibly a new area? (but in a similar field)

paul

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dingz
Similar thing happened to me although it was 30yrs ago, job market was difficult and it took 9 months to get a job but I used the time by doing a couple of courses, CAD being one at the local college, courses were free then to unemployed not sure if that’s still the case though.

---

Sorry to hear about your rubbish redundancy news.

There is some great advice on this thread already.

Have you thought about a job back with your previous employer? If you left on good terms there may be an interesting opportunity; filling posts for technical specialisms can be a challenge for employers to find people and also good ones too.

Write or update your CV. Get someone else to help you write or edit it to pass a friendly critical eye over it, including helping you identify what skills and experience you have (there is always more than you might initially think or remember). Include people and budget management stuff too plus experience of designing and running training as well as the technical stuff. Save a copy then do another version of this CV that ties in with what skills and experience employers want in technical areas you wish to work in. Version one is a good source of info just for you - need something targeted, short and clear for particular roles.

As others have said, family is important as well as income to support everyone, having a job makes it easier to get another one (big gaps not helpful), plus also the ‘life is too short’ idea if you can afford the time and money to switch into something new. Sounds like finding a job within your current and most recent specialism that you loved, or draws heavily on this technical expertise but applied in another area or context with perhaps a wee bit less stress might be ideal if you could find it.

Don’t discount going into teaching or training - it can be very rewarding helping others. Some of the best folk may not realise that they would be ideal to get over info, knowledge and skills to people in a friendly, clear and helpful manner.

As others have said, such advice may be irrelevant to you and your circumstances.

Good luck

Cheers
Mike

[Edited on 29/11/23 by Mike Wood]

[Edited on 29/11/23 by Mike Wood]

[Edited on 29/11/23 by Mike Wood]

Sorry to hear this, reality check I am afraid.

You are only 14 years away from retirement, you really need to keep contributing to a decent pension if possible as this will have a massive impact later on.

Good luck on your chosen path.

Cheers

Mark

quote:

---

Originally posted by mark chandler
You are only 14 years away from retirement

---

You can redeem your private pension at 55, assumes of course that you have paid into a pension that will release enough money to tide you over.

Just felt I had to drop my pennies in.

To be honest, I dislike the current situation in society where double jobs are the norm. While I support the idea where both parts of the couples may work if it suits them, it has become a necessity for most families to have a double income. At least here in NL it is near impossible to buy a house and have a life on a single income.

Result being that the children need to go to post-school care (don't know the english term, sorry) and are picked up late afternoon. Additional expense coming from the salaries. The parents can then prepare some food, bring the kids to bed, clean up, wash clothes etc. Next day this repeats. On Saturday sports and more domestic work are in order, hopefully Sunday can be spend as a family. No time left to do anything on house or car maintenance, so that is contracted out.

Great for people choosing this, not so great for people forced to live like this. For me this is not wealth, it is poverty.

Coming back to your situation it seems to me you now have time to spend with the kids. Be there when they get home or pick them up. During the day spend some time on the household, spend some time on sports or hobby or side business. Have the evening off with your partner as well as the weekend. Nothing more important than to just be there for the kids, a stable factor.

Then in a few years time, when the children have grown up, you can either get back to do work or maybe a hobby or side activity has already developed into a meaningful way to spend your time. I wouldn't worry about not being able to get a decent job after a few years or a hole in a CV. Yes, you might not be able to jump in on the same level as you left off, but does that really matter?

This coming from a 43 year old who has worked hard together with his partner and is finally able to make do with single income and appreciating it a lot.

quote:

---

Originally posted by MarcV
Just felt I had to drop my pennies in.

To be honest, I dislike the current situation in society where double jobs are the norm. While I support the idea where both parts of the couples may work if it suits them, it has become a necessity for most families to have a double income. At least here in NL it is near impossible to buy a house and have a life on a single income.

Result being that the children need to go to post-school care (don't know the english term, sorry) and are picked up late afternoon. Additional expense coming from the salaries. The parents can then prepare some food, bring the kids to bed, clean up, wash clothes etc. Next day this repeats. On Saturday sports and more domestic work are in order, hopefully Sunday can be spend as a family. No time left to do anything on house or car maintenance, so that is contracted out.

Great for people choosing this, not so great for people forced to live like this. For me this is not wealth, it is poverty.

Coming back to your situation it seems to me you now have time to spend with the kids. Be there when they get home or pick them up. During the day spend some time on the household, spend some time on sports or hobby or side business. Have the evening off with your partner as well as the weekend. Nothing more important than to just be there for the kids, a stable factor.

Then in a few years time, when the children have grown up, you can either get back to do work or maybe a hobby or side activity has already developed into a meaningful way to spend your time. I wouldn't worry about not being able to get a decent job after a few years or a hole in a CV. Yes, you might not be able to jump in on the same level as you left off, but does that really matter?

This coming from a 43 year old who has worked hard together with his partner and is finally able to make do with single income and appreciating it a lot.

---