Sorry lads, but I've just got to share this cold phone call that I've (for the third or fourth time).

First I'm ex-directory and my number is with held.

So I get, for the about the 3rd/4th time, from a company offering to supply me a luxury fitted kitchen at a reduced price and I would then feature in a magazine article. To set the scene each time I have gone on the offensive and asked them details AND told them that they would have pay me £50k and that the call is recorded.

Tonight they phone again so straight away I say hold on please while I switch on my recording equipment. Then I said
"ok now then this is the third time that you have contacted me with regard to this offer so I presume that you are willing to accept my deal as I have offered."
She tries to continue from the script and I cut in again.
"Do you have any Idea WHO I am?."

Girl
"I have your number from my contact list."

Me
"I am some one who is VERY rich, famous and powerful. I have Very powerful lawyers. You how ever work for a company that would sack you in an instant and you would still have no idea WHO I am.
This is the third time that you have contacted me on this matter and so I must presume that you are intent on closing the deal as I have previously outlined. Once again my terms are this.
The upfront fee that YOU will pay me is £50,000 and ONLY then may you use my name in ANY publicity. Any photo's that are to be used you will pay me another £10,000 per shot and they may NOT reveal where I live. DO YOU AGREE TO THESE TERMS?."

Girl
" I will remove your number from the call list ."

Me
"So do you want to agree to the deal as I have offered.?"

Girl
"No" and the phone goes dead.

So that's why the car isn't finished yet, far too busy hassling innocent call centre girls.

I am lucky I live in god's own land, the land of green valleys, tall mountains and a language all of it's own (WALES)
I have had similar phone calls , my way of dealing with them differs. I have had long conversations with people in various parts of the globe, my side being conducted in Welsh. the other side in something approximating English. These conversations can last for several minutes before they give up. For some strange reason it makes me laugh:javascript:icon(''

I find having a pretend fight with the missus gets them to clear off to! Lots of oh, err, is now a bad time?

A friend was once called by a company offering conservatories. She invited them round. At the time they were in a first floor flat

I had the people that make very exp hoovers round - I was told they would be here for a half hour demo, then they'd wet clean the carpets.

Three hours later, I pointed out what the (cold) caller had said, and suggested they clean carpets and f orf.

They did ask if there was any way I'd consider buying one of their cleaners. I said yeah, knock £1500 off the price.

They cleaned carpets and went. Me bored, but amused,

ATB

Simon

quote:

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Originally posted by llionellis
I am lucky I live in god's own land, the land of green valleys, tall mountains and a language all of it's own (WALES)
I have had similar phone calls , my way of dealing with them differs. I have had long conversations with people in various parts of the globe, my side being conducted in Welsh. the other side in something approximating English. These conversations can last for several minutes before they give up. For some strange reason it makes me laugh:javascript:icon(''

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Just as they get into thier flow, try "Can I just stop you for a moment? Have you thought about Jesus recently?" Phone goes dead pretty quick after that.

Did once claim not to have a phone when some numpty tried to convert me to his phone contract. Just denied point blank that I had one!

Also gave my name to some gas company (we don't have gas) as Micheal Mouse...but my friends call me Mickey...10 minutes later and I got bored. 10 mins more before the apprentice stopped laughing!

Adrian

quote:

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Originally posted by llionellis
I am lucky I live in god's own land, the land of green valleys, tall mountains and a language all of it's own (WALES)
I have had similar phone calls , my way of dealing with them differs. I have had long conversations with people in various parts of the globe, my side being conducted in Welsh. the other side in something approximating English. These conversations can last for several minutes before they give up. For some strange reason it makes me laugh:javascript:icon(''

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I had a good one the other night'

Ring ring: Hello can I speak to Mr. Ridley?

me: who's that?

Them: Barclays bank

me: what do you want! (sick of cold calls)

Them : customer satisfying feedback.

me: did we ask you to call us?

them: no

me: is this a cold call?

them: no, your our customer and its a customer satisfying fedback

me: so it is a cold call?

them: no, your our customer and its a...

me: STOP! i didn't ask you to call and we are ex directry so it is a cold call. We don't take cold calls.

Them: OK sorry, I'll call back later.

How thick are they? Readign from cards, calling during our evening lunch. Really makes my pi€€ boil

talking about jesus, my mate got slightly annoyed when the jobo's witness came more than once and took counter measures, absolutly covered his living room in pictures of hitler and the holocaust with a very proud one above the fireplace.

One day they came round with the usual hello can you spare a few minutes. and bingo, my mate said " yeah why not, do you want to come in for a cup of tea?" so they did, shows them into the living room, " just boiling the kettle, wont be a minute" when he came back, no one there, front door left open and he's never had a jobo's witness since.

quote:

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Originally posted by Catpuss

quote:

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Originally posted by llionellis
I am lucky I live in god's own land, the land of green valleys, tall mountains and a language all of it's own (WALES)
I have had similar phone calls , my way of dealing with them differs. I have had long conversations with people in various parts of the globe, my side being conducted in Welsh. the other side in something approximating English. These conversations can last for several minutes before they give up. For some strange reason it makes me laugh:javascript:icon(''

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Heh, so there is a use for the welsh language. Perhaps this should be an excuse to teach in UK wide

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How to stop cold calls the easy way.

Register with the Telephone preference service clicky

By law all cold callers have to clean all tps registered numbers from cold call lists. If you get a cold call get all of the company's details and then point out to the nice person that you are registered with the TPS and you are going to report them as you're fed up with calls. The fine if they're prosecuted is rather large!

As for the Jehova witnesses, that's even easier. If they knock on the door ask them to add you to their "no call" list. They'll ask why, just tell 'em you're happy with your religion and you'd appreciate it if they'd let you be.

Boring I know, but they do both work.

Ni eisoes gwna isn't 'r Rhyngrwyd 'n fawr

(probably an awful translation )

quote:

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Originally posted by llionellis

quote:

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Originally posted by Catpuss

quote:

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Originally posted by llionellis
I am lucky I live in god's own land, the land of green valleys, tall mountains and a language all of it's own (WALES)
I have had similar phone calls , my way of dealing with them differs. I have had long conversations with people in various parts of the globe, my side being conducted in Welsh. the other side in something approximating English. These conversations can last for several minutes before they give up. For some strange reason it makes me laugh:javascript:icon(''

---

Heh, so there is a use for the welsh language. Perhaps this should be an excuse to teach in UK wide

---

No way boyo, you'd all know what we really think about the Saxons then !

---

quote:

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Originally posted by chockymonster
How to stop cold calls the easy way.

Register with the Telephone preference service clicky

By law all cold callers have to clean all tps registered numbers from cold call lists. If you get a cold call get all of the company's details and then point out to the nice person that you are registered with the TPS and you are going to report them as you're fed up with calls. The fine if they're prosecuted is rather large!

As for the Jehova witnesses, that's even easier. If they knock on the door ask them to add you to their "no call" list. They'll ask why, just tell 'em you're happy with your religion and you'd appreciate it if they'd let you be.

Boring I know, but they do both work.

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What do you get if you cross a jehovas witness with a hells angel?............



Someone who knocks on your door and tells YOU to *uck off..

Cheers

Fred W B

TPS works well. We had a local double glazing company repeatedly calling us. We told them that we had registed a couple of weeks back. After one more call I told them that we would report them if they called again. They never called back.

i had a kitchen direct call today

at the time i was in a roadside utility kiosk..... and they are comming to measure up for a kitchen!!!

its only 12 foot square

scared the cr** out of me when the phone rang... its only there as a bonus from the telemetry thats in there

dave

quote:

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Originally posted by DIY Si
So that's why the car isn't finished yet, far too busy hassling innocent call girls.

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i registered with tps some time ago, but unfortunately i do still get these calls from time to time.

i usually find that "you sound nice, what are you wearing?" gets rid of unwanted callers

and what do you say to the girls ?

i tell them the person they want to speak to died afew days ago and im clearing the house for the local council.

that seems to put them off

edit - i need to chage my avatar, im sure you lot dont want to see my french trash.

[Edited on 29/7/07 by damien]