Arsenal - Angelina Jolie
Look good, a bit maverick at times and you know they have the
potential to really bleep you over

Aston Villa - Dido
One big hit. Fairly inoffensive really

Birmingham City - Maria Carey
Occasionally interesting, frequently annoying. Supporters are thick

Blackburn Rovers - Melanie Sykes
Common as muck Lancastrian.

Bolton Wanderers - Natalie Imbruglia
Always looks like she might go down but never does

Charlton Athletic - Martine McCutcheon
Chirpy Cockney with the ability to spring a few surprises

Chelsea - Rachel Stevens
Every bit looks good from all angles. But what is she doing with
that fairy

Everton - Barbara Windsor
We've been laughing at the tits so long we forget that once upon
a time they actually looked quite good

Fulham - Andrea Corr
Not bad to look at but not much of her. Seems a bit awestruck with
fame

Leicester City - Patsy Palmer
Generally a bit crap and second rate really, but some people like her

Leeds United - Lisa Scott Lee
Dirty Lee

Liverpool - Sophie Ellis Bextor
Individually all the components look fantastic - somehow the
whole just not really working at the moment

Man City - Madonna
Have been big at times - now lost the plot a bit - ageing stars.
Nice new home though

Man United - Jordan
Dominated by tits. Quite repulsive really

Middlesbrough - Tara Palmer Tompkinson
Can look quite good at the back - but nothing at all up front to speak
of

Newcastle United - Christina Aguillera
Can look good. Various unsavoury elements though

Portsmouth - Chrissie Hynde
On the face of it a has-been but you're quite interested in what
she's going to do next

Southampton - Kylie Minogue
Sometimes you feel sorry for them, They're not huge and you've
got a bit of a soft spot.

Tottenham hotspur - Hannah from S Club
Always in the shadow of better looking neighbours

Wolverhampton Wanderers - Any female from the Dingle family in
Emmerdale

Do I take it this is a North South divide thing?

not at all

i got it and thought i'd share it

Surely you missed Ipswich Town....

Could i perhaps suggest - Darius Danesh. ?

I like the leeds united one,since i just read she takes it up the

Takes it up what Bob? The Arsenal?

You missed out Sheffield Wednesday



No...wait

Goin' down goin' down goin' dowwwwwn

etc

I'm not having a battle of wits with an unarmed man.

Cheers

Christopher

Up the Owls!