bi22le
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| posted on 28/11/23 at 12:34 AM |
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41yo, recently made redundant, afraid of fading away . . .
I changed jobs last year for almost the perfect job. I say almost because it was 60+ miles away without much WFH flexibility. It was quite stressful
but I got to design and work on the cutting edge of medical device technology. A real eye opener and totally amazing. . . until I got made redundant
due to a downturn in work.
I am trying to not take it personally and back myself but it has rattled me, I think. There are positives to take, I get to see my young children a
lot more and basically be a house husband as my wife has a great job and is super supportive.
Ideally I would get another job in the new year doing something slightly less stressful far more local and flexible, but thats not my industry. Also
with my appetite lost to talk microns, exotic materials and solving seriously tough technical design problems I kind of want to do simpler things. I
am worried in becoming a less driven old lazy man, at 41!!!
I'm not going to do anything this side of Christmas because its a good opportunity not to, I could probably get away with never working again,
but that frightens me as well. I was such a proud positive driven person and now doubt everything.
Any words of wisdom? Or new business ideas a seasoned mechanical design engineer could start up who knows how to get stuff designed and made
properly?
I guess I just need a hug from you lot really!
Track days ARE the best thing since sliced bread, until I get a supercharger that is!
Please read my ring story:
http://www.locostbuilders.co.uk/forum/13/viewthread.php?tid=139152&page=1
Me doing a sub 56sec lap around Brands Indy. I need a geo set up! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHksfvIGB3I
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coyoteboy
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| posted on 28/11/23 at 01:11 AM |
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That sucks, sorry to hear your position has changed. But really it's just an opportunity. You might currently not want to do anything too complex
and feel like a break, that's OK, but if you're anything like me you'll soon yearn for the technical aspects again. I took a chance on
a new job where I'm not doing the work, I'm overseeing it, at the highest possible level in my field. But it's not the same. I feel
somehow less fulfilled. It's helped me regain my sanity and concentrate on my family for a while, reframing what I really want. 2 years into it,
I love the team and I work on multinational design projects of one-off, hundred million pound devices, but I'm not doing the work, my hand
isn't in the product. So I'm considering my options including a 50% pay cut, it seems crazy but money isn't everything. Don't be
afraid, you're still you and what's right for you now might not be right later, just roll with the happiest route for now.
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Mr Whippy
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| posted on 28/11/23 at 08:04 AM |
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Disclaimer - obviously everyone's circumstances are different as are their views and values...
For me it's just get a job, doesn't matter what but keep the money coming in, especially when the kids are young as there never is or ever
will be enough lol. Not sure why you sitting about waiting, what are you waiting for? So you lost your job, so what, big deal go and get another,
hell try something new. You say money's not an issue so anything is on the cards now. There's not much more off putting to me when I
interview people to find they have just been sitting about between jobs, sometimes for years, why?? wtf! If an engineer tells me they lost their job
but went to work in McDonalds or drove courier van etc. in the meantime till they got a new job, they've already shown they are willing to just
knuckle down and do what it takes. Already their at the top of the list. There are very few "Perfect" jobs but endless opportunity's to
do something new and interesting.
Not sure if that is helpful, it was meant to be...good luck 
[Edited on 28/11/23 by Mr Whippy]
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nick205
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| posted on 28/11/23 at 08:35 AM |
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Sorry to hear of your change, but seriously hope you can live without stressing over the Christmas and New Year period (for you and your family).
My oldest friend worked for a big sports holiday brand for a long time. He was their German speaking/reading/writing conduit in the UK (having grown
up in Germany).
For some years he harboured ambitions to start his own carpentry business. By his own admition, with 2 young kids he didn't have the nerve to
leave a well paid job and go for it. Put on Furlough for 6 months by the travel company and then made redundant he was given the freedom to go for it.
3 YEARS AGO
He's now running a successful carpentry business and making more money than he was previously earning.
In his words..."Redumdancy gave me the freedom to achieve this!"
I don't have a business suggestion for you, but do think you need to see this as an opportunity to try something new. Even if you get a box
stacking job for a while to bring in some money and stave off boredom.
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cliftyhanger
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| posted on 28/11/23 at 08:47 AM |
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Sorry to hear of the sudden change, but it can make you re-assess.
There is nothing wrong with not being "driven" or ambitious. Take a breath, think about how you want your life to be. A job/career is just a
small part, or should be.
You say you have young kids, take the time to be with them, I really believe it pays dividends down the road. There is something wonderful about your
own kids, and even as mine are now mid 20's, we are still close and get on really well.
when I was mid 30's I was at a crossroads. I had bought 3 rentals, still owed what seemed a fortune on them, but we were beginning to get
profitable enough for me to take the risk of stopping full time teaching. I did that, did supply for the next 15 years, working up to 90% of a full
academic year, but importantly with the flexibility of taking time off. I did loads of stuff with my kids, we took them out of school for holidays and
those savings offset me not working.
Now, in my late 50's, I spend my days doing maintenance on rental properties, some my own, some for other people. But only work when I want to. I
enjoy spending time faffing in the garage, or with friends doing "stuff". Interestingly (or not) I have just been diagnosed with ADHD which
makes sense of much of my life and my decisions, but I am very happy with the way my life has progressed. It could have been very different, probably
not better or worse. But I think life may take a meandering path, or it may be dead straight. And personal happiness is not often brought about
through work, but about doing stuff you like. (of course, a crap job can and will make you misearable)
All the above are just the ramblings of somebody who is now thinking about proper retirement, and developing a 10 year plan!
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Slater
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| posted on 28/11/23 at 08:54 AM |
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It's certainly a shock to get laid off, happened to me 3 times so far, and hard when you have family/house etc to support. It puts an extra
pressure on you for sure. Just take some time to take stock and spend some quality time with family, but I suggest you keep your ear to the ground
and actively hunt for another job, in the same line, but also be open to doing something slightly different. Sounds like you have a cash buffer and
supportive wife, so it's not urgent to get another job, but don't leave it too long. 41 is not that old and you'll certainly need
something to do for your sanity. So put the feelers out and don't burn any bridges as you might well end up back at same job as before, or
working with previous colleagues. Hope that helps.....
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motorcycle_mayhem
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| posted on 28/11/23 at 09:34 AM |
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Redundancy has affected me 4 times over the last 20 years, before that there was the fixed term research contract scenario. It does knock you a bit,
in fact it's devastating mentally and now at over 60 there's not a lot of interest from employers... and of course, the future isn't
one of a pension..
You're 41, young, just get a job! Don't leave a gap any bigger than absolutely have to.
Getting out of the private sector is something to go for if job security is now your focus.
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Slimy38
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| posted on 28/11/23 at 09:45 AM |
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I am currently unemployed and have been since the end of October, however as I'm a contractor it's just an occupational hazard rather than
driven by my employer. For me I'm mainly struggling with how to fill my time, which kind of says a lot about what might happen when I retire!!
I really recommend you find something to do. It's really easy to just slip into 'daytime TV' mode and that won't help you at all.
Given where we are right now I'd suggest building a car, but there's loads of other stuff to do.
As an example, my daily schedule consists of a couple of hours on jobserve and linkedin to see what is going on in the world of employment, then some
self learning on a few things that I want to pick up. I've always wanted to write a video game so I'm doing some youtube and Udemy tutorials
on that. Then in the afternoon I work in the garage, and the evening is family time.
Most of all, consider the time off as a gift rather than a sentence. A new job will come along, at 41 you're basically halfway through your
career so there's plenty more experiences to be had.
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Sanzomat
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| posted on 28/11/23 at 09:59 AM |
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I feel for you although it seems its all too common these days. I worked for the same firm for 21 years, 1990 to 2011, and worked my way up from entry
level to being technical director on the board. I thought I'd be there forever and be the one turning the lights out if it ever went south but
the MD retired and as by then the company had been bought by a larger group they recruited the replacement MD. The new guy was an A-hole and between
2009 and 2011 (to be fair there was a bit of a global economic issue!) the company shrunk from circa £60m t/o to £18m. A lot of our long time clients
went to others because they couldn't get on with the new MD. Massive redundancies followed including myself. To be fair the last 2 years were
hell so I felt some relief but also like you say massive self doubt and a bit of a crisis. Its time to reflect. Consider all your options, even maybe
re-training to something completely different. If after thinking things through you'd rather stick with what you know then put yourself back out
there and don't be afraid to tap into any contacts you've made over the years as the best jobs never get advertised. I was actually
contacted directly by a former competitor and offered a position. It was a couple of rungs down the ladder from where I was before but only £10k less
money and quite a bit less hassle so I went for it. 2 years later I was head hunted by another former competitor so I moved again and ended up earning
more than when I'd been made redundant 2 years previously.
Just remember, you can shake the bottle of milk but the cream still rises back to the top eventually.
My son, only 29, has already been made redundant 4 times in his short career but he's bounced back and is now doing better than I was at his
age.
Hang in there - you'll be back on your feet soon.
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Sam_68
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| posted on 28/11/23 at 12:17 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by bi22le
1) Ideally I would get another job in the new year doing something slightly less stressful far more local and flexible
2) I kind of want to do simpler things.
3) I am worried in becoming a less driven old lazy man, at 41!!!
Working for yourself is the obvious answer. I went that direction about 8 years ago and have never looked back: my problem is currently that whilst I
am making enough money to pursue other projects, and have lots of ideas for stuff I'd like to do, I'm being kept too busy to do anything
about either (so if you fancy a business partner for ideas and mutual motivation...)!
quote:
Originally posted by bi22lenew business ideas a seasoned mechanical design engineer could start up who knows how to get stuff designed
and made properly?
Can you do consulting/freelance work doing the sort of stuff you were doing before? Quite often when companies make people redundant in recessions,
it's because they have to protect their cashflow, not because they don't have any work for those people to do... the answer for both them
and you is to only pay for the work they need, rather than have someone on a salary sitting behind a desk 5 days a week.
Alternatively... If you know how to get stuff designed and made properly, then find something to design and make that people will buy, but which
requires low initial investment.
Since you're on this forum, how about plans-built stuff that you can sell the plans and/or kits for on Ebay... stuff like the swing-bin racer,
Toylander or I reckon there might be a market for Cyclekart kits and components to take off in the UK (the movement is just starting to gain momentum,
it seems). If you sell plans-based stuff cheap enough, people will buy it on impulse or out of curiosity (the Locost book and Staniforth's
original Terrapin book and plans versus Callum's T89 project being a case in point: charging £20 for a book or £30 for plans attracts more
customers than charging £several hundred, regardless of how detailed and comprehensive the more expensive package is).
Engineering-biased works of art, crafts or furniture (welded sculptures, tensegrity tables, garden furniture, hen-houses/rabbit runs)?
You don't have to find a single project capable of paying all the bills in isolation: multiple 'pocket' projects giving multiple small
income streams may work for you, until one of them becomes a big enough success to sideline the others.
Make sure the Government pays for as much of it as possible (Universal Credit until the business is ready to raise its head above the parapet;
business grants and incentives thereafter)... I'm sure you've paid enough tax in the past to mean that you're owed something back.
[Edited on 28/11/23 by Sam_68]
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bi22le
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| posted on 28/11/23 at 12:56 PM |
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Thank you so much for these posts so far. Supportive, judgemental and thought provoking. This is good stuff, honestly it is.
To answer a few points, provoke more input from you, and thought from me:
- I have decided to not rush into my next role this side of Christmas because I don't know exactly what I want to do. Also my wife needs some
support, it's been a crazy year and this just tips it off
- I can probably find contract work and get paid well for it but I need life balance. Snatching at contracts for companies office based 100miles away
is going to be very difficult to manage.
- I like the idea of just doing something different. I like engineering, I'm good with my hands and self employed flexibility sounds good. One of
the problems is that I work in an academic field where management can select immaculate candidates. If I go off and try something different I may
never get back into that industry.
Track days ARE the best thing since sliced bread, until I get a supercharger that is!
Please read my ring story:
http://www.locostbuilders.co.uk/forum/13/viewthread.php?tid=139152&page=1
Me doing a sub 56sec lap around Brands Indy. I need a geo set up! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHksfvIGB3I
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Mr Whippy
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| posted on 28/11/23 at 03:36 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by bi22le
- I like the idea of just doing something different. I like engineering, I'm good with my hands and self employed flexibility sounds good. One of
the problems is that I work in an academic field where management can select immaculate candidates. If I go off and try something different I may
never get back into that industry.
Very true, I like engineering too and did have that "Perfect job" once but I tried other things and found I like them better! Thing is how
do you know unless you try it? It sounds like you have a very rare chance to try something new without any risks, quite exciting, I wish I had that
opportunity as it's all about keeping the money flowing these days... oh to be able to turn around and just say f&ck this I'm off be a
truck driver! 
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gremlin1234
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| posted on 28/11/23 at 03:43 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Sam_68
Since you're on this forum, how about plans-built stuff that you can sell the plans and/or kits for on Ebay... stuff like the swing-bin racer,
Toylander or I reckon there might be a market for Cyclekart kits and components to take off in the UK (the movement is just starting to gain momentum,
it seems). If you sell plans-based stuff cheap enough, people will buy it on impulse or out of curiosity (the Locost book and Staniforth's
original Terrapin book and plans versus Callum's T89 project being a case in point: charging £20 for a book or £30 for plans attracts more
customers than charging £several hundred, regardless of how detailed and comprehensive the more expensive package is).
[Edited on 28/11/23 by Sam_68]
I think there is a market for small electric vehicles, perhaps based on a disabled one, or golf buggy.
but to get them street legal would be a huge and interesting challenge. - hint keep below 50 Volt so you avoid the hi-voltage problems
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swanny
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| posted on 29/11/23 at 02:51 PM |
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you mentioned that you worked in research. do you have industry experience as well?
i work at a uni and have recently recruited ex post doc researchers into my team. if you have academic and industry experience, thats a useful set of
skills possibly the perfect candidate! - possibly a new area? (but in a similar field)
paul
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Dingz
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| posted on 29/11/23 at 03:01 PM |
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Similar thing happened to me although it was 30yrs ago, job market was difficult and it took 9 months to get a job but I used the time by doing a
couple of courses, CAD being one at the local college, courses were free then to unemployed not sure if that’s still the case though.
Phoned the local ramblers club today, but the bloke who answered just
went on and on.
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bi22le
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| posted on 29/11/23 at 03:02 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by swanny
you mentioned that you worked in research. do you have industry experience as well?
i work at a uni and have recently recruited ex post doc researchers into my team. if you have academic and industry experience, thats a useful set of
skills possibly the perfect candidate! - possibly a new area? (but in a similar field)
paul
I have undertaken research projects but they have been linked to industry mechanical problems. For example the benefits of blow / gas filled and RIM
processes for large injection moulded components. I would not consider these to the same level of academic research you are thinking, normally I work
with universities and start ups to bring their theoretical solution to market.
I have worked in mechanical product design engineering for 20 ish years, all within medical devices. A contact of mine left BAE Systems as an
electronics engineer to teach at one of the royal collages, he said it was very different and rewarding. Teaching is not for me, not as I know it
anyway.
Track days ARE the best thing since sliced bread, until I get a supercharger that is!
Please read my ring story:
http://www.locostbuilders.co.uk/forum/13/viewthread.php?tid=139152&page=1
Me doing a sub 56sec lap around Brands Indy. I need a geo set up! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHksfvIGB3I
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bi22le
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| posted on 29/11/23 at 03:05 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Dingz
Similar thing happened to me although it was 30yrs ago, job market was difficult and it took 9 months to get a job but I used the time by doing a
couple of courses, CAD being one at the local college, courses were free then to unemployed not sure if that’s still the case though.
I'm considering learning Python as it dovetails into a lot of what I do. Design electro-mechanical devices etc. I have decent systems engineering
experience as well so it would be related.
Track days ARE the best thing since sliced bread, until I get a supercharger that is!
Please read my ring story:
http://www.locostbuilders.co.uk/forum/13/viewthread.php?tid=139152&page=1
Me doing a sub 56sec lap around Brands Indy. I need a geo set up! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHksfvIGB3I
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Mike Wood
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| posted on 29/11/23 at 03:08 PM |
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Sorry to hear about your rubbish redundancy news.
There is some great advice on this thread already.
Have you thought about a job back with your previous employer? If you left on good terms there may be an interesting opportunity; filling posts for
technical specialisms can be a challenge for employers to find people and also good ones too.
Write or update your CV. Get someone else to help you write or edit it to pass a friendly critical eye over it, including helping you identify what
skills and experience you have (there is always more than you might initially think or remember). Include people and budget management stuff too plus
experience of designing and running training as well as the technical stuff. Save a copy then do another version of this CV that ties in with what
skills and experience employers want in technical areas you wish to work in. Version one is a good source of info just for you - need something
targeted, short and clear for particular roles.
As others have said, family is important as well as income to support everyone, having a job makes it easier to get another one (big gaps not
helpful), plus also the ‘life is too short’ idea if you can afford the time and money to switch into something new. Sounds like finding a job within
your current and most recent specialism that you loved, or draws heavily on this technical expertise but applied in another area or context with
perhaps a wee bit less stress might be ideal if you could find it.
Don’t discount going into teaching or training - it can be very rewarding helping others. Some of the best folk may not realise that they would be
ideal to get over info, knowledge and skills to people in a friendly, clear and helpful manner.
As others have said, such advice may be irrelevant to you and your circumstances.
Good luck
Cheers
Mike
[Edited on 29/11/23 by Mike Wood]
[Edited on 29/11/23 by Mike Wood]
[Edited on 29/11/23 by Mike Wood]
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mark chandler
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| posted on 2/12/23 at 08:52 PM |
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Sorry to hear this, reality check I am afraid.
You are only 14 years away from retirement, you really need to keep contributing to a decent pension if possible as this will have a massive impact
later on.
Good luck on your chosen path.
Cheers
Mark
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Sam_68
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| posted on 3/12/23 at 02:43 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by mark chandler
You are only 14 years away from retirement
27, surely?
Retirement age will be 68?
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mark chandler
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| posted on 3/12/23 at 08:48 AM |
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You can redeem your private pension at 55, assumes of course that you have paid into a pension that will release enough money to tide you over.
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MarcV
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| posted on 6/12/23 at 10:03 PM |
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Just felt I had to drop my pennies in.
To be honest, I dislike the current situation in society where double jobs are the norm. While I support the idea where both parts of the couples may
work if it suits them, it has become a necessity for most families to have a double income. At least here in NL it is near impossible to buy a house
and have a life on a single income.
Result being that the children need to go to post-school care (don't know the english term, sorry) and are picked up late afternoon. Additional
expense coming from the salaries. The parents can then prepare some food, bring the kids to bed, clean up, wash clothes etc. Next day this repeats. On
Saturday sports and more domestic work are in order, hopefully Sunday can be spend as a family. No time left to do anything on house or car
maintenance, so that is contracted out.
Great for people choosing this, not so great for people forced to live like this. For me this is not wealth, it is poverty.
Coming back to your situation it seems to me you now have time to spend with the kids. Be there when they get home or pick them up. During the day
spend some time on the household, spend some time on sports or hobby or side business. Have the evening off with your partner as well as the weekend.
Nothing more important than to just be there for the kids, a stable factor.
Then in a few years time, when the children have grown up, you can either get back to do work or maybe a hobby or side activity has already developed
into a meaningful way to spend your time. I wouldn't worry about not being able to get a decent job after a few years or a hole in a CV. Yes, you
might not be able to jump in on the same level as you left off, but does that really matter?
This coming from a 43 year old who has worked hard together with his partner and is finally able to make do with single income and appreciating it a
lot.
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craig1410
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| posted on 7/12/23 at 12:31 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by MarcV
Just felt I had to drop my pennies in.
To be honest, I dislike the current situation in society where double jobs are the norm. While I support the idea where both parts of the couples may
work if it suits them, it has become a necessity for most families to have a double income. At least here in NL it is near impossible to buy a house
and have a life on a single income.
Result being that the children need to go to post-school care (don't know the english term, sorry) and are picked up late afternoon. Additional
expense coming from the salaries. The parents can then prepare some food, bring the kids to bed, clean up, wash clothes etc. Next day this repeats. On
Saturday sports and more domestic work are in order, hopefully Sunday can be spend as a family. No time left to do anything on house or car
maintenance, so that is contracted out.
Great for people choosing this, not so great for people forced to live like this. For me this is not wealth, it is poverty.
Coming back to your situation it seems to me you now have time to spend with the kids. Be there when they get home or pick them up. During the day
spend some time on the household, spend some time on sports or hobby or side business. Have the evening off with your partner as well as the weekend.
Nothing more important than to just be there for the kids, a stable factor.
Then in a few years time, when the children have grown up, you can either get back to do work or maybe a hobby or side activity has already developed
into a meaningful way to spend your time. I wouldn't worry about not being able to get a decent job after a few years or a hole in a CV. Yes, you
might not be able to jump in on the same level as you left off, but does that really matter?
This coming from a 43 year old who has worked hard together with his partner and is finally able to make do with single income and appreciating it a
lot.
This is great advice if you can make the finances work. My wife and I had kids early starting at 21, and although it was tough financially as we were
both still students, we didn't have any major financial commitments and so we made it work. My wife put her career on pause to raise our three
kids from birth to school age while doing an open university degree in her spare time.
I have zero doubt that the time she spent with our kids at a young age was fundamental in how they developed. We now have a 3 year old grandson and we
try to spend as much time with him as possible because we know how important that contact really is.
Work to live, don't live to work. If you have family and friends then you'll never be poor.
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